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Finally

lpwhitlpwhit
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in Military Brides
Oh boy have we been dealing with so many things thanks to the AF. 

FI got told mid december that he would be moving to a new base in April. Since it is a stateside assignment, they said they wouldn't issue orders until about 60 days out. We had to hold off booking the honeymoon until he could find out he could get leave from his new squadron but they wouldn't approve it until official orders were dropped. 

We just got the orders a week and a half ago and his leave was finally approved. We will be moving the first week of April and will be coming back a week before the wedding in July. The original place we were wanting to go on our honeymoon was completely booked up (Sandals St. Lucia) but we did book something that we both love (Sandals Antigua) but we have to wait a week after the wedding to go. I didn't really want to wait that long but I would rather do that than to settle for something we don't love. 

So now with all of this, going to school full time, and planning this wedding, I feel like a big ball of stress. 
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Re: Finally

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    SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_finally-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:97e452c8-0f46-4004-9872-f976e7885dc4Post:ffa21df0-f4a2-4381-8e83-fbb91f12a6c1">Finally</a>:
    [QUOTE]<span style="font-weight:bold;">Oh boy have we been dealing with so many things thanks to the </span>AF<span style="font-weight:bold;">.</span>  FI got told mid december that he would be moving to a new base in April. Since it is a stateside assignment, they said they wouldn't issue orders until about 60 days out. We had to hold off booking the honeymoon until he could find out he could get leave from his new squadron but they wouldn't approve it until official orders were dropped.  We just got the orders a week and a half ago and his leave was finally approved. We will be moving the first week of April and will be coming back a week before the wedding in July. <strong>The original place we were wanting to go on our honeymoon was completely booked up (Sandals St. Lucia) but we did book something that we both love (Sandals Antigua) but we have to wait a week after the wedding to go. I didn't really want to wait that long but I would rather do that than to settle for something we don't love.</strong>  So now with all of this, going to school full time, and planning this wedding, I feel like a big ball of stress. 
    Posted by lpwhit[/QUOTE]

    I'm not really sure what you're looking for here, but umm... a lot of military couples don't get any sort of HM, so if I were you, I'd probably just be really grateful that I get to go on what sounds like a great HM.  So there's that.

    I was AD when I was planning, it gets stressful, but you'll get through it!

    ETA: Generally blaming the AF (or any branch of the military) leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  Your FI signed up for it.  It's a lifestyle.. Just roll with the punches and don't take things personally.
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    IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
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    We waited a week to go on our HM out of pure personal choice. You'll appreciate the few days to do some laundry, pack everything, put one big day behind you and look ahead together. 
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    ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    dude, I would think you feel relieved rather than stressed. You know where you're going, you know when, you were able to book the honeymoon. That all seems to be good things rather than stressful things. It's finally settled ya know? 
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    CozyHeart13CozyHeart13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment

    Sounds like you're in a better place than a lot of military couples, so congrats on that, and on your upcoming wedding. I just wanted to throw this out there - we had a mil-to-mil couple in our flight get married and book their honeymoon at a Sandals resort. A month or so before the wedding, the bride called Sandals to check on the reservation and she asked something about military perks or discounts. They got upgraded to a concierge, ocean front suite with a bunch of fancy stuff for free. They had booked a basic room at the cheapest online rate, so this was really a HUGE deal. I don't know if this is something they always do or if she got super lucky (she is the super lucky kind, so that could be it) but it might be worth the call. Just wanted to share! GL!

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    BinxRoseBinxRose member
    First Comment

    I would love if FI and I could take our HM a week after the wedding. We have to wait til our one year anniversary.

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    Sammy0709Sammy0709 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Um, our HM was going to the San Diego Zoo the Saturday after our JOP.  I would look at the positive of this situation rather than the negative.  Glass half full...
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    ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_finally-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:97e452c8-0f46-4004-9872-f976e7885dc4Post:d7a4b4a5-4c14-400c-aac0-9e49db95d8f5">Re: Finally</a>:
    [QUOTE]Um, our HM was going to the San Diego Zoo the Saturday after our JOP.  I would look at the positive of this situation rather than the negative.  Glass half full...
    Posted by Sammy0709[/QUOTE]



    Ditto this. (not the HM part, we didn't get anything at all haha). Not to be mean to op but I literally don't see anything negative about anything she said. It all seems like good stuff to me?
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    kellieinkckellieinkc member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    We're waiting 5 months to go on our honeymoon and he's not even *in* the Marine Corps anymore.  Having a lag time isn't really that awful, and it will give you something to look forward to so you don't immediately have that post-wedding let down.
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    AmandaSC1988AmandaSC1988 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Um... My FI (husband) will leave the DAY AFTER THE WEDDING for training and will be gone a month. We will go on a honeymoon after he gets back....

    ...I'm not even complaining, because I am thankful he has his leave approved and can come home for the wedding.
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    aykaypaykayp
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    Antigua sounds amazing!  Hope you guys are able to relax and enjoy it =]



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    shan87shan87
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_finally-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:97e452c8-0f46-4004-9872-f976e7885dc4Post:ffa21df0-f4a2-4381-8e83-fbb91f12a6c1">Finally</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh boy have we been dealing with so many things thanks to the AF.  FI got told mid december that he would be moving to a new base in April. Since it is a stateside assignment, they said they wouldn't issue orders until about 60 days out. We had to hold off booking the honeymoon until he could find out he could get leave from his new squadron but they wouldn't approve it until official orders were dropped.  We just got the orders a week and a half ago and his leave was finally approved. We will be moving the first week of April and will be coming back a week before the wedding in July. The original place we were wanting to go on our honeymoon was completely booked up (Sandals St. Lucia) but we did book something that we both love (Sandals Antigua) but we have to wait a week after the wedding to go. I didn't really want to wait that long but I would rather do that than to settle for something we don't love.  So now with all of this, going to school full time, and planning this wedding, I feel like a big ball of stress. 
    Posted by lpwhit[/QUOTE]


    1. Don't take it personal.
    H is AD AF and we had to wait almost a year to take our honeymoon. I get that you are in the midst of planning and school... but a week after your wedding is NBD.. IMO.

    2. Be greatful you are getting a honeymoon... even that close. AND your wedding date.
    As you can see there are far more couples that don't get a honeymoon at all- or delayed much longer. Even though our Honeymoon wasn't the one we planned, we were happy as a clam to get a vacation. It took us months to figure out a date, even with picking a holiday weekend almost 2 years from when he proposed H still had to fight to get leave. He was able to fly home the afternoon before, we got the whole day after then he left bright and early the next day. It happens.. all the time- we are not special in the least.

    3. Get use to being flexible.
    I really don't mean to sound like a B.. but it's in your best interest to realize how inflexible the Military is NOW. Your H may be gone for your kids soccer game, summer camp, school plays, crap even the birth of your child, etc. You as a future Military Spouse have to learn to let these things roll off. It's only going to get worse and you are going to remain stressed and miserable. There are times when he will get leave and it's been approved only to have it revoked. It sucks, but whining, complaining and crying is not going to change the outcome.

    I use to be a mega planner, but it's easy to adapt to the Military mindset once you realize they will send your H where they need him, whenever they need him. You are an after thought. It sounds mean but they are in no way picking on you or your H. I now use my planning skills to plan back ups for all our vacation wants. I even have several 'planned' for when is gets that rare time off so we can book it as soon as we know his leave is a go.

    I fully believe that life is all in what you make it. It's like my take on the serenity prayer..  accept the things you cannot change and focus on the things YOU CAN change. You'll be a far happier and less stressed person. IMO


    This came off far more preachy then I wanted to be but hopefully it doesn't void my point!
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    TiddlywinklesTiddlywinkles member
    First Comment
    My FI and I aren't getting a honeymoon. In fact, we are still crossing our fingers that his leave will be approved so he can come home for the wedding! Rolling with the military punches can be a real experience, but the sooner you can adjust to it, the better off you (and your FI!) will be. It was difficult for me at first, too. 

    That being said, congratulations on getting a honeymoon place and finding the time to take one! :) 
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_finally-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:97e452c8-0f46-4004-9872-f976e7885dc4Post:cf74e3a8-f506-4e70-a955-3f85d9d07e2a">Re: Finally</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Finally : 1. Don't take it personal. H is AD AF and we had to wait almost a year to take our honeymoon. I get that you are in the midst of planning and school... but a week after your wedding is NBD.. IMO. 2. Be greatful you are getting a honeymoon... even that close. AND your wedding date. As you can see there are far more couples that don't get a honeymoon at all- or delayed much longer. Even though our Honeymoon wasn't the one we planned, we were happy as a clam to get a vacation. It took us months to figure out a date, even with picking a holiday weekend almost 2 years from when he proposed H still had to fight to get leave. He was able to fly home the afternoon before, we got the whole day after then he left bright and early the next day. It happens.. all the time- we are not special in the least. 3. Get use to being flexible. I really don't mean to sound like a B.. but it's in your best interest to realize how inflexible the Military is NOW. Your H may be gone for your kids soccer game, summer camp, school plays, crap even the birth of your child, etc. You as a future Military Spouse have to learn to let these things roll off. It's only going to get worse and you are going to remain stressed and miserable. There are times when he will get leave and it's been approved only to have it revoked. It sucks, but whining, complaining and crying is not going to change the outcome.<strong> I use to be a mega planner, but it's easy to adapt to the Military mindset once you realize they will send your H where they need him, whenever they need him. You are an after thought.</strong> It sounds mean but they are in no way picking on you or your H. I now use my planning skills to plan back ups for all our vacation wants. I even have several 'planned' for when is gets that rare time off so we can book it as soon as we know his leave is a go. I fully believe that life is all in what you make it. It's like my take on the serenity prayer..  accept the things you cannot change and focus on the things YOU CAN change. You'll be a far happier and less stressed person. IMO This came off far more preachy then I wanted to be but hopefully it doesn't void my point!
    Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

    Very well said.  And what's funny is when I read the bolded part, my only thought was, "An after thought?  No, spouses aren't even a consideration!"  It wasn't an angry or bitter thought, it was more factual.  You have to come to grips with the fact that his schedule isn't of his own choosing, and that if you get stressed about it or hold it against him when he does miss something important, it will only cause unnecessary stress in your relationship.

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