Catholic Weddings

Lots of Questions about Ceremony Time, Church, etc.

Now that we have 50% (and what we thought would be the hardest part) of the annulment process completed, we are starting to feel hopeful about being able to be married in the Church. And we are so excited about it! But...it raises many questions that we are wrangling with.

We are hoping to have an October wedding (provided the timing works out, we know we have to be flexible about this), which in Missouri could be warm, sunny, rainy, cold just depending on the weather whim. We originally wanted an outdoor reception because we are both very outdoorsy people, but think the stress of worrying about the weather would kill the fun of the wedding!

We literally attend two or three different churches...we usually go to the one where I went into the Church, because it feels like a home church to me, and because I cantor there. I would prefer to get married there because it is absolutely beautiful and we also really like the priest. However, the reception location is...not so much. We would prefer to have the reception in the hall of another Catholic church that we also attend from time to time...the hall is lovely, and the church opens out into a beautiful little pond with ducks and a gazebo. My church is about 35 minutes from the second church. Would that be horribly tacky and offensive to the priests and congregations, to have the wedding at one church and the reception at another?

We also wonder about timing. If we have the wedding at 2, and we do plan to have a full Mass, it would be over about 3 or so. We plan to take all our pictures afterward, because I don't want him seeing me in my dress until I come down the aisle Smile! However, we know that we and our Catholic guests will have to attend Mass somewhere that evening or the next morning, since the wedding Mass doesn't "count." Mass at church #1 is at 5, so that's out; Mass at church #2 is at 5:30, so that's a possibility...but the question is, would the church let us have the reception in the hall while Mass is going on in the church itself?

I know we probably need to talk to our local folks, but before we do I wanted to know if folks thought we were being unreasonable, excessively complicated, etc. The last thing we want to do is offend our priest and our parish...we've looked at another site for the reception but it can't hold 50 people inside, and my groom is balking at the idea of paying so much for a site AND then having to rent a tent with walls and possibly heaters!

Thanks for your input! We are trying to keep our budge tiny, tiny, tiny, and the whole thing simply and as stress-free as possible.

Ohhh, this is starting to get FUN!!!!!!!!!!!

Linda
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Re: Lots of Questions about Ceremony Time, Church, etc.

  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    most of these questions are for your priest and the church.  i dont think it would be "offensive' to have the ceremony at one church and the reception at another, but i do find it odd.  what is it about your home receptoin hall that you dont like?  

    also, i'm pretty religious, but i wouldnt want to sit through your nuptial mass at 2pm, then turn around and attend a 5pm mass the same day.  i would just fulfill my obligation on sunday.


  • edited December 2011
    Excellent point about the Mass, thank you! I do love the idea of going to Mass with my family in my wedding dress...but we could all go together the next morning, as well. Most guests are not Catholic, so your advice is probably best, since otherwise we would be away from our guests to go to Mass if we went to vigil.

    Receptions at my home church are typically held in what was once the school. It's where they hold all the chicken dinners and fish fries. It's a lot bigger than the one at church #2, and the setting is just not as aesthetic outdoors as at church #2.

    Food for thought...thank you!
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  • edited December 2011
    Double check with your priest about it fulfilling the obligation of Mass.  Ours told us that it will fulfill. 
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    its my understanding that if the mass is before 4pm it does not "count". 
  • clearheavensclearheavens member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_lots-of-questions-ceremony-time-church-etc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:c24cab8f-c2ce-42eb-8047-e53313811effPost:ba589b3d-8c20-4911-9ce2-6b47fecab0b4">Re: Lots of Questions about Ceremony Time, Church, etc.</a>:
    [QUOTE]its my understanding that if the mass is before 4pm it does not "count". 
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    <div>I believe it depends on the diocese.  I know some that state 4:30, some state sometime nearer sundown.  It is a decision made by the bishop.</div>
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    hmmm

    Saturday wedding @1:30

    The priest(s) said that made the Sunday obligation.

    I think that differs depending on the diocese and or priest
  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have heard of priests obtaining Mass dispensation for Saturday afternoon weddings.  Talk with your priest.
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Could you bring the priest from your "home" church to the church with the better reception facilities and have everything done in one place?
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Canon law uses the term "evening" of the previous day to determine fulfilling obligations. That is understood as 4 PM (according to liturgy of the hours schedule).

    A bride does not need to include fulfilling everyone's obligation in her wedding schedule.

    I'm from St. Louis, so if you are from there, there are many many masses later on Sunday evenings also.


  • edited December 2011
    Noticed some people were posting pictures of their pets, so I thought I would share mine. Not sure how to add this to my signature, though? Any info would be appreciated! These are my girls, Maya (at the top) and Chaco (in the kitty bed).
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