FG question

jbrook12 · December 2011

Ok ladies I am in need of some feedback.

I am not having a flower girl, our wedding and reception are all in the same room and we are creating the aisle and everything ourselves.

That being said I do have 1 niece. She is 9 and tall for her age. IMO she is too big to be flower girl. She apparently is really hurt by this. She has gone as far as telling my brother " I sucked up to her for 9 years and I don't get to be her flower girls! I will just find the whitest dress I can to wear to the wedding". To me she is just being a brat. I get that she is hurt and want to be more involved. She will be handing out programs.

My question to you all is this. Should I give in and let her be a flower girl or at least something else in the wedding, or hold on to the decision that FI and I made to not have children in the wedding?

mrsmustard12 · December 2011

I would let her be one! My 2 young cousins are my flowergirls and they are 7 and 11. I was worried the 11 year old wouldn't want to be one but she was really excited. My 11 year old cousin is also big for her age but I understand since when I was a little girl I really wanted to be a flowergirl but I didn't know anyone getting married.

lisa&sean · December 2011

I am all for flower girls! There are no children coming to my Vegas wedding at all except for Sean's little neice to be our flower girl! She is 4 and so adorable. She said on Thanksgiving that she was thankful Sean and I were getting married and she gets to be a flower girl and when I just talked to her on Christmas she was sooooo excited her dress came in and couldn't wait for the wedding...they get such a big kick out of it!

cu97tiger · December 2011

If you and your FI had made a decision not to have any children in your wedding, then I would not give in to her pouting tactics. If she is special to you, find something else that she can do. Can she do a reading? Maybe she can man the guestbook and make sure people sign it? Asking her now will only 1) reinforce her bad behavior and 2) she still knows that originally you WEREN'T going to ask her.

HobokensFury · December 2011

My flower girl is 10. So she's not to old. I choose a Jr. bridesmaid dress for her because I though she was too old for a puffy white dress. I'd let her be the flower girl.

jbrook12 · December 2011

Thanks for the input ladies!

Siglers0412 · December 2011

What about Junior Bridesmaid? Or if it matters that much that she's upset, you could just let her be flower girl. We have 2 10 year old Jr Bridesmaids that we wanted to be flower girls but they feel too old for that.....Girls!

cmac3504 · December 2011

If we were inviting kids to our wedding, we probably would have had some of FI's neices/nephews be part of the wedding. They're cute and could lighten the mood a little before your grand entrance! BUT I do think you should consider cu97tiger's comment about giving in because if she's a bratty girl, giving her "what she wants" all the time doesn't teach her anything. Good luck!

jml1981 · December 2011

FI's 10 year old daughter will be a Jr. Bridesmaid in our wedding. We wanted her to be a part of it, but felt she was a little too old to be a flower girl. My mom is making her an age appropriate dress in the same fabric/color and slightly similar style as our bridesmaids.

On another note - I think her saying that she "sucked up to you for nine years" is a little annoying and might stick to not letting her be actually in the wedding. My neices and nephews are coming, but are not in the wedding and there are 5 of them ranging from 6 yrs - 12 yrs old. My sisters tried to make us put them in the wedding, but I didn't want to deal with all those kids on the day of. I'm sorry, but it's hard enought to keep up with the adults in the wedding for a destination, let alone kids too.

brittandjp · December 2011

I don't think 9 years old is too old to be a flower girl. Granted, it's usually cuter when you have a little girl, but 9 definitely isn't too old by any means. I agree with tiger though about not giving in just because she's pouting. If the though originally crossed your mind and the only reason you opted out was because of age, then I'd say go for it, let her be the flower girl.

smurdock1 · December 2011

My sisters are 7 and 10 and they will be "Junior Flower Bridesgirls" I really couldn't decide because of their ages but decided to put it all together. 9 is totally appropriate...but don't do it because you feel bad, do it because you want her in the wedding. She is 9 she will get over it, but I understand the feeling...

rachel801231 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_fg-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:a35f9901-31a9-4ce9-a5c5-070af59f96cePost:00c559c5-1d44-47cf-a209-fd667595167a">Re: FG question</a>:
[QUOTE]If you and your FI had made a decision not to have any children in your wedding, then I would not give in to her pouting tactics. If she is special to you, find something else that she can do. Can she do a reading? Maybe she can man the guestbook and make sure people sign it? Asking her now will only 1) reinforce her bad behavior and 2) she still knows that originally you WEREN'T going to ask her.
Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTcE]

completely agree!

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