Do you have to register for gifts?

bdpbride · August 2012

This is my second wedding and my fiance's first wedding. I would prefer to not do a registry. While my side of friends and family is pretty small, those that are invited have already given a gift to me the first time around. He has a very large extended family that makes up the majority of our 150 guests and he thinks we need to have some type of registry. We are both 30 years old and have already had to sell or donate lots of items when we moved in together as we were both pretty established already. There are a couple of things we could use or upgrade maybe but it would be a pretty tiny registry I think. He wants to do a honeymoon registry and I am adamently against it. I am just not comfortable asking for money to do things on our honeymoon. Especially after our honeymoon was so generously given to us by one of his uncles who had a ton of frequent flier miles and hotel points! That just seems really cheap to me to ask for more! Can we just not register for gifts at all or is that strange/bad etiquette?

jessicabessica · August 2012

It's fine not to register at all, and you're right on the HM registry. If you do have some things you would like upgrade, I would go ahead and do a small registry (does your FI have strong feelings one way or another on registering at a store?).

julie279 · August 2012

I agree about a small registry. I always give actual gifts at a wedding (rather than cash or a check), and I at least like to see what is on the registry to get some ideas. Preferably, I like to buy off of registries.

artbyallie · August 2012

A registry is not about asking for gifts. It's to give an idea for people who will want to give you something. And most people like to give gifts at weddings. I don't know where any of your guests are from, but where I live, that means boxed gifts most of the time. So you can register for things that need replacing, like nicer towels, sheets, kitchen gadgets, upgraded small appliances, etc. And most registries offer a completion discount, so even if your registry goes unbought, you can buy it yourself later for less.

Peledreamsofrain · August 2012

Artbyallie is right on the money. Registries are less about the bride and groom, and more about giving the poor guests a break. Tradition expects them to offer you a gift, and they are left in the dark about what to get you if there is no registry (a lot of people don't believe in cash gifts).

If you really don't want a registry, I think it would be lovely of you to tell your guests to make a donation in your name to your favorite charity instead. Your right, it's silly to amass material things you don't need just because the event calls for gifts. Why not share your joy and bounty with the needy and less fortunate?

bdpbride · August 2012

Thanks ladies - I appreciate the input, I think we will do a small registry at a big name store so that all guests have access to it for a few items that could use updating or would be great to have and then I like the idea of a donation as well. I will have to look into that!

Do you have to register for gifts?

Re: Do you have to register for gifts?

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