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lol my friend

soontobehasrounisoontobehasrouni member
500 Comments
in African American Weddings
i have this long time friend who is super flamboyant and demanding and he told me he decided to come to our wedding and said i need to make time for him on my wedding night to go out clubbin.....are you serious? im MARRIED, im going to make time for my husband! even my BM thinks that after the reception we need to go hang with them at a club, and then next day we need to spend the whole day with them partying in vegas.

UM. no. i just got married, ill be doing whatever i want. the point of the destination wedding is so that guests can have a minii-vacay and see our wedding as a bonus, and weve explained this to people already....to not expect a week packed full of activites. my one friend told me he isnt traveling all that way and not going to be able to hang out with me. i told him he doesnt HAVE to come, and that i wont be rearranging my entire schedule to hang out with him. he doesnt understand that the days before the wedding we wil be crazy busy and the day after we are going to see where the day takes us before we have to leave that night for the HM.

am i wrong for not hanging out with my friends? am i expected to hang out with everyone the entire time because its a DW wedding? i thought that the day after my wedding if i wanted to lay around buck nekkid with my husband, i could...and no one can say anything about it. am i wrong? now i almost feel like imnot giving the guests enough attention
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Re: lol my friend

  • soontobehasrounisoontobehasrouni member
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_lol-my-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:710e7a5b-c8dd-4fc3-ba69-2524be3d4d1bPost:fe3609d0-a6bd-4373-a942-cc3cfef4cee8">lol my friend</a>:
    [QUOTE]i have this long time friend who gay, but wont come out of the closet. he told me he decided to come to our wedding and said i need to make time for him on my wedding night to go out clubbin.....are you serious? im MARRIED, im going to make time for my husband! even my BM thinks that after the reception we need to go hang with them at a club, and then next day we need to spend the whole day with them partying in vegas. UM. no. i just got married, ill be doing whatever i want. the point of the destination wedding is so that guests can have a minii-vacay and see our wedding as a bonus. my one friend told me he isnt traveling all that way and not going to be able to hang out with me. i told him he doesnt HAVE to come, and that i wont be rearranging my entire schedule to hang out with him. he doesnt understand that the days before the wedding we wil be crazy busy and the day after we are going to see where the day takes us before we have to leave that night for the HM. am i wrong for not hanging out with my friends? am i expected to hang out with everyone the entire time because its a DW wedding? i thought that the day after my wedding if i wanted to lay around buck nekkid with my husband, i could...and no one can say anything about it. am i wrong? now i almost feel like imnot giving the guests enough attention
    Posted by soontobehasrouni[/QUOTE]


    we are also going to have a meet and greet and farewell dinner, so we will see everyone more than the one day. but we wont be hosting these dinners since its not in the budget
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  • ladycane015ladycane015 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited November 2012
    Absolutely NOT! lol. If you're wrong I guess I'm selfish too but ugh...I think they're high if they seriously expect you to want to hang out w/ them on your wedding night lmfbo! I think they are wrong for wanting you to -_- Can a girl have her day?! I mean I understand them wanting to celebrate w/ you but that's the whole point of the wedding! It's a celebration! Boy BYE!!! What next, do they want to tag along for the Honeymoon? (I actually had a serious inquiry of someone wanting to come w/ us to the HM talking about they won't even be in our way or around us. Have several seats _/ _/ _/ please) I can't take people hahahaha! If they don't want to come celebrate w/ u then so be it! Less money you have to spend. Cheers :)
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  • soontobehasrounisoontobehasrouni member
    500 Comments
    right?! i just feel like, "im inviting you....you dont HAVE to come, but if you do, know that i appreciate it....but not enough that im going to give you more attention than my new husband." The older people understand this logic, the younger ones dont. people wanna go out the night before and club and kick it and do this and that....um, im getting married the next day, id like to relax. and then this is the kicker...I HATE CLUBS!!!! i never go to clubs, i dont like club people, id rather sit in a quiet bar where i can relax and not be stepped on every .6 seconds, so i dont understand why people think i all of a sudden wanna go clubbin. just cuz its vegas?? no. definitely not. i WANT people to go out and club and do whatever they want, its a VACATION FOR YOU....but i dont see why i need to be there holding there hand the whole time? from what i understood, DW weddings are the same as regular weddings, only you get to travel....two for the price of one :-)
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  • nursing2unursing2u member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    hey girl.. you know were getting married the same destination as you... I myself planned that after the reception we may just go out for a lil bit and have fun...BUT to each his own.. you know... it just depends on what you guys want and expect of your time.. you know...
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  • soontobehasrounisoontobehasrouni member
    500 Comments
    we planned on doing something after tge reception with guest if they wanted to but it was going to be somewhere chill and quiet. i just dont like being told i HAVE to  go do something i have no desire to do and people know i have no desire to do, and of all nights my wedding night. it just gets on my nerves. i appreciate people traveling, but he is totally disregarding the fact that i will have been awake for hours, going crazy making sure everything goes right, and that i am married to the love of my life and would rather enjoy my first night married with my husband and not entertaining you past what ive already done, u know?


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_lol-my-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:710e7a5b-c8dd-4fc3-ba69-2524be3d4d1bPost:f1360c70-e373-450f-9df1-ef10be05a8b6">Re: lol my friend</a>:
    [QUOTE]hey girl.. you know were getting married the same destination as you... I myself planned that after the reception we may just go out for a lil bit and have fun...BUT to each his own.. you know... it just depends on what you guys want and expect of your time.. you know...
    Posted by nursing2u[/QUOTE]
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  • soontobehasrounisoontobehasrouni member
    500 Comments
    i think its just him who bothers me. he things the world revolves around him and always gives me a hard time about not giving him all my free time becuz i am chllin with FI. FI is only home 3 days a week, damn right he is gunna get my time over u!
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  • M1ssJM1ssJ member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    I see your point but... In general if I go to a destination wedding.especially one that ends at 9:30.i would expect to have some kind of mini after party. While I 10000 get you.... I do think spending 600 to come to someone's wedding and only getting to see the for 3 hours is a bit annoying. Is the farewell dinner the next day?
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  • soontobehasrounisoontobehasrouni member
    500 Comments
    yeah, there is ameet and greet the day before and a farewell dinner the next day. I get what you are saying, i just feel like you dont HAVE to come. im not begging anyone to come ya know? i just wanna get married, if its just me and FI im cool with that. Im not saying everyone needs to go to their hotel room after the reception, but we have pictures after the reception anyway, so we will be gone at LEAST two hours. and then telling me "well i wont come if u dont hang out with me....".... ok, thats fine, DONT come. ill dictate my time, not you.

    I feel like we have made it clear that this is a mini vacay for people too and we arent going to occupy their time. they dont have to come to the meet and greet or the farewell dinner if they dont want to, the only thing we really expect to see them at is the wedding. Id feel worse if i didnt put it out there to people that its a vacation for you and our wedding is a bonus so please go enjoy yourselves, but we have made that clear to folks
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