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remove a guest?

TaraMc728TaraMc728
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Long story short, my FI has a cousin who has been causing problems for the family.  The man is 32, and still acts like a teenager.  he owes money to my FI aunt for bailing him out of jail after her got into a fight.  There is so much drama, I cannot post it all.  What really ticked me off is what he said.  My FI's grandmother passed away 2 weeks ago, she got sick and it took her fast.  When his aunt needed help w/ the funeral arrangements, we went to help since her own kids were nowhere to be found, and she asked her son to come over and help her out.  He yelled at her "What do you want me to do, hold your F****** Hand?"  She is kicking him out of her home.  My Fi and I want to remove him from our guest list (invites not yet sent).  Any advuce how we can do it w/o causing more drama? 
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Re: remove a guest?

  • AMYM312AMYM312 member
    100 Comments
    I don't blame you for wanting him out. If you think heis going to cause problems at the wedding then don't invite him.
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  • HeathenSwanHeathenSwan member
    100 Comments
    That sucks. I'd suggest talking to his Mom (the aunt) about it. If she's okay with it, it shouldn't cause too much drama with anyone else (I hope). If he's worried about drama with the cousin, just don't get into it with the guy. 
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  • goobersinlovegoobersinlove member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    You say you haven't sent the invitations yet? Easy, just don't send an invitation. Or tell him that he might be expected to hold someone's hand during the ceremony.
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  • TaraMc728TaraMc728
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_remove-a-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:65ad62d0-2b8e-47a9-9738-d10c9b11c3bbPost:96b79a1b-d97c-4563-835d-f7742a1c641c">Re: remove a guest?</a>:
    [QUOTE] Or tell him that he might be expected to hold someone's hand during the ceremony.
    Posted by goobersinlove[/QUOTE]
      That is a good one.
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  • StephanieM22StephanieM22 member
    100 Comments
    Don't invite him if you and your FI do not want him there. 

    If you are worried about him showing up at your wedding and causing a scene let the security at your venue know he is not allowed there. If your venue does not have such a person your wedding coordinator or anyone else can be used to quietly escort him out if he shows up. 

    On the other hand if you are worried about causing family drama speak to your FI's aunt. I doubt she will have a problem with her son not being invited to your wedding since she just kicked him out of her house. 
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  • leed0019leed0019
    10 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited March 2012
    I think the OP is asking if it is alright to cut family.  He is a cousin and if they are inviting there other cousins it might be a problem.

    Personally, I would talk to the aunt and see if she has an issue with it.  If she isn't worried about it you shouldn't be either.  I understand the concern about not inviting family, my FMIL is not invited to our wedding, but in the end if it is going to cause more problems to invite him as opposed to not then don't invite him.
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  • JoshLovesJekkaJoshLovesJekka
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_remove-a-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:65ad62d0-2b8e-47a9-9738-d10c9b11c3bbPost:2bc89516-1e38-495d-9346-8ac70df6cd86">Re: remove a guest?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here's how you remove someone from your guest list: 1.  Highlight that person's line in your Excel spreadsheet. 2.  Hit delete. Seriously, if invitations haven't gone out, why is this a problem?  Just don't invite him.
    Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_remove-a-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:65ad62d0-2b8e-47a9-9738-d10c9b11c3bbPost:9257b2e3-bc3c-4b08-b59a-6567775e821a">remove a guest?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Long story short, my FI has a cousin who has been causing problems for the family.  The man is 32, and still acts like a teenager.  he owes money to my FI aunt for bailing him out of jail after her got into a fight.  There is so much drama, I cannot post it all.  What really ticked me off is what he said.  My FI's grandmother passed away 2 weeks ago, she got sick and it took her fast.  When his aunt needed help w/ the funeral arrangements, we went to help since her own kids were nowhere to be found, and she asked her son to come over and help her out.  He yelled at her "What do you want me to do, hold your F****** Hand?"  She is kicking him out of her home.  My Fi and I want to remove him from our guest list (invites not yet sent).  Any advuce how we can do it w/o causing more drama? 
    Posted by TaraMc728[/QUOTE]

    Just don't invite him. Problem solved.
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  • tanyanubintanyanubin
    100 Comments
    Maybe you should not send him an invitation, but play it by ear on the day of. Situations like this one change constantly. He and his mother might be fine by that day/week. Having someone try to block him from entering the reception might cause more trouble than it's worth. Maybe just keep in touch with your aunt to see how things are progressing before you make that decision? Poor thing. You shouldn't have to deal with this guy on your wedding day. My wish for you is that he wakes up and realizes what a jerk he's been, and shows up acting sweet to everyone. Enjoy your wedding!
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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_remove-a-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:65ad62d0-2b8e-47a9-9738-d10c9b11c3bbPost:d146c496-1b2a-4be6-bbf6-eef7eae39a56">Re: remove a guest?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is perfectly fine to cut family. Personally, I think anyone who has been to jail for a violent crime should not be allowed at a wedding. <strong>Under most host laws, you're the one who's legally responsible for the behavior that goes on at your wedding. </strong>And from a practical standpoint, if this individual behaves badly, your guests will hold you responsible for his bad behavior. People make their own choices in life. Your fiance's cousin has chosen to behave in a socially inappropriate manner, and he will need to deal with the consequences of those actions. And if that means sitting out a cool party that the rest of the family gets to attend, so be it.
    Posted by AFP07[/QUOTE]


    Is this true? Just wondering because mostly everyone here agrees that you are not responsible for your guests.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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