Ready to Elope

Re: Ready to Elope

• KateJ10

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Your aunts sound lovely.
  
  Sounds like you need some stress relief! Sorry to hear the situation is sucking.
  
  While I haven't gotten even close to your stage of planning, I can't imagine having that many RSVPs still out sucky.
  
  I think if it were just one or two things it would be managable, but it sounds like a lot of little things are adding up! I think it sucks now but you have already done so much and it will be worth it on your actual wedding day-
  
  Have a few beers or go for a long run or take a bath, or all of the above.
  

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• kaylas16

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Why must people share their opinions...ESPECIALLY when it does not affect them AT ALL?!  Even if you had the ugliest dress in the history of weddings who tells someone that?  You aren't making them wear it so why should they care.  Mainly I have had people complain about the date I chose and some of my dad's side of the family is shocked at how much I am spending... when they really have no idea what the cost of anything is to us....

  Chin up Your wedding will kick butt and they will feel bad they said anything  

  And I agree with Kate, beer, bath, work out solves everything!

  
  June 18, 2011

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• graysquirrel member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Geez, what is wrong with people? Why should they care about your dress? Which is NOT too poofy, by the way. It looks like a completely normal A-line in the pics you've posted. They should see mine, lol. It sucks when people take such extreme ownership of other people's weddings. Would they complain if their child wasn't invited to a cocktail party? Then they shouldn't complain about this. You can invite whomever you darn well please.

  

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• kaylas16

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I know this is said all the time but I sure wish we could "like" posts on here i would "like" graysquirrel's post!!!

  
  June 18, 2011

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Ugh thanks ladies.   It just sucks - like it's taking all the fun out of wedding planning and I don't even want to have one anymore.  Of course @ 3 weeks out obviously it's much too late to change our minds, but I don't get why people can't just be supportive??  Basically every single wedding I've ever been to has had one thing or another that I may have done differently, but I would never ever TELL them that!! 
  
  
  

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• musicalsunlight member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I think (aside from some of the rude comments you've been getting), that the way you are feeling is pretty normal at this stage beforehand. I've seen a lot of girls on here get really frustrated and wish they could cancel the whole thing, within a month of the wedding. It is the stress that is getting to you! Just remember to breathe, and tell yourself that no matter what happens (including what your aunts think), you are gonna have a great wedding.

  

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• SarKriHei

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Try to forget about everyone elses opinions it's YOUR day not theres! They can do  whatever they want at their wedding! Im haveing the same touble but with fmil and ffil and friends, and Im not getting married till Feb 2012, so I might kill people! Ha BUt It will all be worth it in the end!
  And as for the RSVP's.. what about having you BM's and MOH get on them... start calling people or email people that havent reponded yet and asking htem nicely if they have had a chance to look at their rsvp and send it back or if they could take care of that for them over the phone or email? Just an idea..... I would rather do that then not be prepared and want to freak out.... And finally RED WINE! It cures all! And maybe a good frined! Good luck and I hope It gets better! Remember it will all be worth it!

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• wittyschaffy member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I know that it is tough, but try to let it roll off of you.  It isn't about them - it is about you and your DH.  You made choices that were right for YOU.  Period.  No explaination necessary.  I think people bi%C$ just because they can.  Take a deep breath and move on if you can.  Don't let it stew because it will drive you crazy.  I was pretty much ready to kill my MIL before our wedding because she had an opinion about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  Wasn't her call to make. 
  
  I agree with pps - maybe start sending out the RSVP police on the missing ones now.  My mom was all over that job for ours.  She nicely emailed folks letting them know that we had some RSVPs get lost in the mail (total bluff but whatever) and she wanted to make sure that the ones we still hadn't seen weren't in the black hole at the postal services.  I only had to call a couple people after the fact. 
  
  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Funny thing is I actually sent an email last week that just said:
  
  Hello!  I hope this email finds you well!  I just wanted to send a quick reminder that the RSVP's for the wedding are needed in by next Friday (the 25th) so if you haven't responded yet, please do as soon as possible.  Thank you!!       
  

   

  Sincerely,
  Kari & Mike
  
  
  And we've STILL only gotten one RSVP card since that email went out 8 days ago  

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• shan87

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  sounds like someone could use a massage I'd book one ASAP!

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• maybe984 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I can totally relate, kari_lynn. People found a lot to criticize me about before my wedding, too. People didn't like that it was on a Sunday. My southern relatives didn't understand why I couldn't just get married down there (even though DH's family, my immediate family, and alllll of our friends live here). A few people even gave me crap for choosing cupcakes instead of a wedding cake.
  
  But you know what? Everyone that came had an awesome time. I got so many compliments that night, my head spun. People like to stick their noses into things they shouldn't... but once they see everything come together... they'll shut their yaps.
  
  I also had a HUGE problem with late (and several completely non-sent) RSVPs. We invited 254 (knowing full well that about 75 out-of-state relatives wouldn't be able to make it) and only got RSVPs back for about 100 people. I think the actual guest count was about 120. So yeah... a TON of people never replied OR came, but we also had two dozen people show up unannounced. I am sooooo glad we had a buffet.
  
  So yeah, I don't know if that makes you feel any better, but at least you know you're not alone!
  

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• Cascasbaby53 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Yeah, people can be super nosey and for some reason feel that their opinions are more important than yours, your fi's and whoever else is involved in paying.
  
  Just say, "You had your day so shut your mouth and sit down!"
  
  I mean...have a massage...yeah.

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• Sara191431 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  If it makes you feel any better, I've had a decent amount of stress/opinions on our choice to have a smaller destination wedding.  I think some people just cause stress, it's what they do, and they feel the need to give their opinions even if it's not asked for. 
  
  I haven't checked out your bio, but I'm sure your dress is beautiful!  Just get the screw em attitude and try not to let it get to you.  3 weeks away is soooo exciting! 

  Oct. 21, 2011 Wedding Bio

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• SSaltzman87 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Wow, that's uncalled for. I'm so sorry you're having to put up with this crap.
  
  People can have their opinions all they want, it's expressing them and being rude about it that's a problem.

  <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Money Saving Tips"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt17ce82.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0"  /></a>
  
  
  
  Planning Bio-Added FOR SALE page, will be adding more stuff to it soon! 
  

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• SuperRNluvsChef

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Sheesh, your aunts sound like mine!! They've made it well known that they think we're spending too much $$.  I'm just confused as to why they give a s*it.  Anyways I agree with PP's, relax, get masage and have a good workout.  Stress free is the key!  You're wedding will be great! :0)

  Hitched! 09.30.11

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• I Want Cake

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Your aunts sound absoultely delightful.  I agree with PPs, tell them how it is and let them deal with their own opinions about it.  It's not their business to complain to you about your own wedding.
  
  My FMIL is being a real treat.  She's not paying for anything, and yet she keeps sticking her nose into everything, needing to know what my dress looks like, how the cake is being decorated (I thinks he's disappointed it's not a standard-issue big white monster), trying to scare us into thinking that pretty much all the OOTers aren't going to come b/c we don't go to visit them constantly like she does (sorry, we're not into sitting around outside, getting eaten to death by all manner of bugs, and eating substandard BBQ after driving 7 hours to get there), and then goes on about how we're spending so much money and she grew up poor.  And then criticizing because we put a "__ seats have been reserved in your honor" line on the RSVPs so we have some idea how many people to expect so we don't get overridden with uninvited people.  I'll tell you how many you can bring, you don't tell me.  WTF-ever.  Not your wedding, lady!
  
  It's just funny because I have to beg my parents, who are footing a good chunk of the bill, to give a damn about any of this.  As long as the food is good and there are tablecloths and real flatwear on the table, they really don't care.  Besides inviting them to the tasting and running the invite wording past them, they've asked for no input whatsoever.  They're the best.
  

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