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+1 question

leogirl13leogirl13 member
Third Anniversary 100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
This isn't related to my wedding but a friends. She came to me this morning with this:

She's having a small number of people at her wedding but it's still black tie. We have a mutual friend to came to her screaming that she didn't get a plus 1 on her invite. This woman isn't in any type of comitted relationship and it's news to everyone that she's even seeing anyone. She told the bride that she was wrong not to give her a plus 1 just because she was single.

The bride is spending a lot of money per guest and I can see where she might not want to spend it on someone she dosen't know, won't see again, or may not even show up.

So who is in the right? Is it ok not to give a plus one to someone who isn't in a relationship or should everyone have a plus 1 regardless?
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Re: +1 question

  • HockeyFan4HockeyFan4 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    If they are truly single, no plus one is needed.  However, if the guest has to travel a distance to go to the wedding, it would be nice to let her have a plus one.

    If you can afford a plus one, it is nice to extend a plus one, it is nice, but not necessary.



    As an aside, we invited all our single guests to bring a plus one.  Only one of about 20 or so actually brought a guest.
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  • willywally5willywally5 member
    2500 Comments
    Ditto PP. 

    And this guest in question has no business screaming at the bride about it whether she has a significant other or not. That is just asinine. 
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  • Ali092011Ali092011 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    If she's truly single and won't go unless she can bring a plus-one, then she shouldn't go, simple as that. I would do my best to accommodate someone I invited without a guest if they politely asked if they could bring a friend, but I wouldn't respond well to being screamed at.

    Your friend is doing nothing wrong here.
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  • NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    You don't have to offer plus 1's to truly single guests.

    That said, for a black tie event I'd side eye that choice big time.   Black tie implies that money is no object: offer the best food, best drinks, and when in any semblance of doubt, err on the side of making the guest happy (ie; give the single gal a guest!).
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    My husband and I met at a wedding where we were two of the only single people present, neither of us were given a +1 (despite the fact that we had each traveled for the wedding).  We've since met several couples who met in almost identical circumstances.

    Seriously, weddings are really good places to meet people who less likely to be crazy (as they've already been vetted by your friends or family), and who you will immediately have SOMETHING in common with.   I don't know why people feel the need to bring randoms to a wedding when they are such a good place to meet people...
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  • loca4pookloca4pook member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_1-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9807168c-939b-4148-8cf1-5e1ae64e8ebfPost:b3d1bfce-7bba-42a5-bb3c-ec157785536f">+1 question</a>:
    [QUOTE]This isn't related to my wedding but a friends. She came to me this morning with this: She's having a small number of people at her wedding but it's still black tie. We have a mutual friend to came to her screaming that she didn't get a plus 1 on her invite. This woman isn't in any type of comitted relationship and it's news to everyone that she's even seeing anyone. She told the bride that she was wrong not to give her a plus 1 just because she was single. The bride is spending a lot of money per guest and I can see where she might not want to spend it on someone she dosen't know, won't see again, or may not even show up. So who is in the right? Is it ok not to give a plus one to someone who isn't in a relationship or should everyone have a plus 1 regardless?
    Posted by leogirl13[/QUOTE]

    Although people here will tell you it's not required (and apparently will start nasty "mean girl"  threads complaining about you for disagreeing with them--LOL),  I PERSONALLY think it is rude to not give it to everyone. I think it is safe to say most people don't want to attend a wedding alone and would feel more comfortable having the option of bringing someone. Since wedding etiquette is all about making guests comfortable, I would definitely extend the option of my guests bringing a date if they wanted to. Single people being forced to attending a wedding alone can be extremely hard/awkward on them especially if the whole dancing thing is a big part of the wedding. IF people are comfortable with going alone and mingling, they won't bring a Plus one..If they ARE uncomfortable, they will find someone to bring to make themselves feel better...

    I know people here disagree but that is just MY opinipn as a person who has attended alot of weddings..Also, I personally  have always been extended a plus one regardless of whether I was in a relationship at the time or not so I guess most people I know follow that rule anyhow

    THOUGH, I never condone somone calling the bride screaming about anything...
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  • kaitpetrykaitpetry
    10 Comments
    If this person won't know many people at the wedding, I would probably extend them a plus one so that they have someone to chat with when the bride and groom are busy. However, no one has any business yelling at the bride. If she really wants to bring someone and it's outside the confines of the budget maybe she should offer to pay for his meal. 
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  • leogirl13leogirl13 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    The wedding is small..maybe 20 people and everyone knows each other very well. No one had any idea that she was seeing anyone in any shape or form. She knows every single person that's going to be there and no one is really traveling (the bed and breakfast is about a 45 minute drive). The bride and groom are going all out for the few guests that there are. They rented the whole B&B so everyone can stay over night, Dinner is $175 a setting, plus all you can drink booze, cake, breakfast and access to the hot tub/pool/stable ect.

    The bride told her to bring him just to get her to settle down. We're not really sure what caused this outburst because she's not usually like this. She's known about the wedding for 8 months and suddenly has an issue with the wedding 2 weeks away.

    Thanks for all your answers ladies!
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