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September 2012 Weddings

Invitations Done

I am so excited I have got all of my invitations addressed and mailed out.  I know it is a little early but almost all of our guests are OOT so I wanted to get them out a little early and give people enough notice to plan.  It also gives me enough time to send out invites to my B list people if I get a few can't make it responses.  I have also started working on getting my bridesmaid gifts together.  I am feeling good about how much I have gotten done and so far.
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Re: Invitations Done

  • Please don't do a B-list. If I found out I was only invited because more important people declined, I'd be hurt. 

    When is your RSVP date? I know that if I got an invite 5-6 months before the wedding I would lose it before it was time to turn it in. 
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  • My RSVP date is the middle of May.
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  • Middle of May is waay too early. Also, B-lists are a bad idea.
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  • You could just send out STD's really quickly, since it is just under 6 months away.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_invitations-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:7400d8a4-28c1-4ce6-81f6-a98bc3d49257Post:7c4d4da9-506d-462b-b1b0-cb7d3bd14a04">Re: Invitations Done</a>:
    [QUOTE]You could just send out STD's really quickly, since it is just under 6 months away.
    Posted by katiebean1[/QUOTE]

    I would do this.  It's way to early to send out invitations for a September wedding.  I would have no idea how to RSVP because I don't usually plan things out this far in advance.
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  • I have also sent out my invitations too - we are having a destination wedding though which require guests to have visas, passports and book flights and hotels  so wanted to give people all the details and enough notice.
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  • You guys are hilarious, she just said they are sent out. Too late to be offering the STD advice now.

    If she wants to have a B-list, it's her perogative. Yes we know they're rude but some random person on the knot saying "please don't" isn't going to make her change her mind. I would rather be a B list than no list at all.
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  • It was way too soon to send your invitations.  If you were worried about people making plans, you should have sent out STDs, but it's too late for that now.  B-Lists are also incredibly rude and I would be extreemly offeded if I found out I was on the B-List.  You had better hope your guests on the A-list don't talk to your guets on the B-list and someone figures it out.

    Lozza- I think you should have gone the STD date route too, but it makes a little more since for you to send invites this early since it's a destination wedding and people need to get visas--that is a serious process (and you aren't doing a B-list like the OP).
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    image 225 Invited so far!
    image 148 Are ready to party!
    image 77 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are MIA!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_invitations-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:7400d8a4-28c1-4ce6-81f6-a98bc3d49257Post:147acdd7-f744-4d20-b0b1-7e5227d8e399">Re: Invitations Done</a>:
    [QUOTE]It was way too soon to send your invitations.  If you were worried about people making plans, you should have sent out STDs, but it's too late for that now.  B-Lists are also incredibly rude and I would be extreemly offeded if I found out I was on the B-List.  You had better hope your guests on the A-list don't talk to your guets on the B-list and someone figures it out. Lozza- I think you should have gone the STD date route too, but it makes a little more since for you to send invites this early since it's a destination wedding and people need to get visas--that is a serious process (and you aren't doing a B-list like the OP).
    Posted by SCogs18[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this. I had never even heard of A list or B list stuff until coming to TK, but I can tell you if I had ever found out I was invited last minute to fill gaps because other people didn't want to come, I'd be extremely ticked.</div><div>
    </div><div>Also, I would lose your invite if it was sent any earlier than a few weeks before much less rsvp by sometime in May. 6 months is insanely early. I'm all for checking stuff off the list, but this sounds like it's going to be a giant headache for you ending in unknown guest numbers. What will happen if a bunch of people rsvp no but by the time the wedding comes, they find out they <em>can</em> take off of work and show up? </div>
  • Although I agree that it is very early to send the out (but if it was a destination wedding, different story - need time to book and confirm travel), she is very excited and could probably use a little more support than being knocked for doing something that's not "the standard".
    Care to share your invitations Jenny? I'd love to see them :)

    As for the B list, FI is really wanting to send additional invitations out if we end up having space, but I'm not 100% comfortable with the idea. To me, if you really wanted them there, they'd be invited on a first round. And with us, we have dinner invites and then reception invites, so he can still invite more people to the reception. We are just limited to 150 for dinner. I would hate for anyone to feel like they were an after thought, even if that's not really the case. I think it would be super hard to pull it off without anyone knowing there was a B list. 

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  • I agree with PP. It's not the norm, but we have a supportive board here so lets on jump down her throat about it. I'd love to see the invites too!

    We actually have a "b" list because our venue is so small but our friends WANTED US to make one because they want to be there. So we did. We have been able to move some people over and possibly some more people next week. I tend to think it works for some people and not for others. I can honestly say that I wouldn't really care if I was on a "b" because I could have just not been invited at all. If our friends are okay with it, then we'll do it. But that's just us!
  • Not to start a debate here, but personally I look at wedding etiquette and the timeline to do things as 'suggested guidelines'. Everyone does things differently and eveyone's wedding is different. Why not do what works for you? Offering suggestions is great if someone asks for them but if someone has made a decision why not be supportive?

    I would love to see your invitations too Jenny! :)
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  • Wow I was only MIA for a week or two, and it seems like the overall dynamic of the board has changed a little bit :(

    OP, I'm sure you're excited about the check!  Care to share some pictures?  I'm making my invites right now and love to look at what other people are coming up with!
  • I wasn't trying to bring her down. I just don't want to lead her to think that it might not cause any headaches down the road (i.e. not really knowing the numbers of guests because rsvps could change a ton in 4 months). Yes, I see the TK (and other websites/opinions) as suggestions, but the general timing makes sense. Because 6 months is far out. Anyways, maybe my tone came across as harsher than I meant (if you guys were talking about me). I didn't mean it to be harsh at all. Just trying to let her know how some of her B listers might feel (maybe they would be happy to just be invited at all, but IMHO I wouldn't) and that she may have a lot of phone calls to make when it gets closer to time just because people's lives can change a lot in 4-6 months, KWIM?
  • I agree completely with PP 

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  • I just think it's so funny that people assume their guests are incapable of handling an invitation sent out too early. Maybe it could be lost or forgotten about, but I have more confidence in my guests than that! LOL

    OP, please share your invite pics!!
  • OP, I'm going to agree with those that said you should have done STDs instead of sending the invites out this far in advance. But what's done is done. Just don't be surprised when some of your guests RSVP yes in May and then tell you 4 months later that they can no longer come.

    And yes, I think B-lists are rude. I'd rather not be invited at all. But maybe they're common in your circle, who knows.
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