NER - Jewish items?

emeejeeayen · January 2013

FI is Jewish, and while I'm half Jewish, I've always considered myself to be more Christian, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy adding more holidays to my repertoire.

There are some really cute Passover seder plates available at the places we've registered, and I would like to add one to our registry, but FI says that we should just let people guy them from their synagogues. This seems odd to me since then A) we have no say in how it looks, and we'd be unable to return it easily,

is that something people do?

As I said, I've never been affiliated with a synagogue (or even a church for that matter), so I'm actually clueless. But FI has a habit of getting these sorts of things, uh, wrong. (He thought at showers we give our guests gifts.)

Anyone able to provide some clarity?

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-jewish-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3108e3e-dab4-4f3f-8c18-73747b235be3Post:eeeaed18-9f62-4a4a-a6cb-68d785818f9a">NER - Jewish items?</a>:
[QUOTE]FI is Jewish, and while I'm half Jewish, I've always considered myself to be more Christian, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy adding more holidays to my repertoire. There are some really cute Passover seder plates available at the places we've registered, and I would like to add one to our registry, but FI says that we should just let people guy them from their synagogues. This seems odd to me since then A) we have no say in how it looks, and we'd be unable to return it easily, B) is that something people do? As I said, I've never been affiliated with a synagogue (or even a church for that matter), so I'm actually clueless. But FI has a habit of getting these sorts of things, uh, wrong. (He thought at showers we give our guests gifts.) Anyone able to provide some clarity?
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

My Synagogue had a great store. Having said that, not all of them are my style.
Also having said that, I haven't been a member of a Synagogue for years lol.

And I gotta tell ya, a seder plate isn't really something people usually think to buy a couple getting married. Especially if your side isn't practicing and/or his side knows you don't practice.
Personally, I'm hoping to get my mom's seder plate that we used to use every Passover someday.

If someone wanted to get you a seder plate, they might appreciate seeing one on your registry that you would like.

rachelm13 · January 2013

Are you talking about the center seder plate or plates you would use at a seder that people would eat off of? It's different for different sects of Judaism. I grew up reform and technically ashkenasi. What I have seen is if it's the first (the display center plate) normally that would get passed down from generation to generation. I have my great grandmother's center seder plate. I also have her china that I use for special occaisions like Passover... I have never seen any of my Jewish friends register for themed seder plates. Another thing to keep in mind is if your FIs family keeps kosher... 2 sets of plates, two fridges, two sets of silverware etc...

I will give the caveat again that it depends....

emeejeeayen · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-jewish-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3108e3e-dab4-4f3f-8c18-73747b235be3Post:317d2ca0-65b4-43df-be0d-39fdd32dc207">Re: NER - Jewish items?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you talking about the center seder plate or plates you would use at a seder that people would eat off of? It's different for different sects of Judaism. I grew up reform and technically ashkenasi. What I have seen is if it's the first (the display center plate) normally that would get passed down from generation to generation. I have my great grandmother's center seder plate. I also have her china that I use for special occaisions like Passover... I have never seen any of my Jewish friends register for themed seder plates. Another thing to keep in mind is if your FIs family keeps kosher... 2 sets of plates, two fridges, two sets of silverware etc... I will give the caveat again that it depends....
Posted by rachelm13[/QUOTE]

I'm thinking of the plate that has a bunch of small bowls that you put the various different items in. Sorry if that's a bad explanation. I should learn more about it. There's just a really nice one at Williams-Sonoma.

<div>His family always practices at his Aunt's house, so his mom/dad don't have one of their own. It's generally a paper plates affair anyway. FI is more culturally Jewish than religiously Jewish, but he does like the idea of practicing in the future, especially with children. I just think it would be nice, especially since he says some of his more religiously Jewish relatives would like to get us something more Jewish themed. *shrug*</div>

jessicabessica · January 2013

We registered for some Judaica items. We had stuff from judaism.com, added via our Amazon universal registry, or sold through Amazon. We registered for a seder plate, a challah board, and benchers. We received all of these items from our registry, plus a seder plate from my mom that she saw and loved, and two menorahs for Hannukah.

I think it's fine to register for Judaica stuff if you see things you like. You could also use word of mouth to make it known that you would love certain items and see what people pick out. The duplicates are not an issue for us. If we ever host big seders, we will probably want multiple seder plates (one for each end of the table), and we alternate which menorah we light during Hannukah. While we obviously like the stuff we put on our registry, the other things that people picked out for us are meaningful and will always remind us of them.

I will add that if people think you consider yourself Christian, they probably will not buy you guys Judaica items. If you want Judaica items, you might want to add one or two things to your registry just to signal to people that it's an appropriate gift. Just a thought.

rachelm13 · January 2013

I totally have seen that one at WS. It's pretty. I wasn't sure exactly what you were referencing at first b/c I do know people who have Hanukkah themed plates... (think Christmas ones, but with dreidels)

If you don't really have one that will be passed down and you are thinking future with kids, then totally register for it! I am sure someone on either side would love to get it for you guys.

(PS: Passover is my favorite of the holidays)

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-jewish-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3108e3e-dab4-4f3f-8c18-73747b235be3Post:820de293-0905-4af9-b5eb-8ec2c76c797a">Re: NER - Jewish items?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NER - Jewish items? : I'm thinking of the plate that has a bunch of small bowls that you put the various different items in. Sorry if that's a bad explanation. I should learn more about it. There's just a really nice one at Williams-Sonoma. His family always practices at his Aunt's house, so his mom/dad don't have one of their own. It's generally a paper plates affair anyway. FI is more culturally Jewish than religiously Jewish, but he does like the idea of practicing in the future, especially with children. I just think it would be nice, especially since he says some of his more religiously Jewish relatives would like to get us something more Jewish themed. *shrug*
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]
Will you be holding your own Passover seders at your home?
I'm not saying that you can only own one if you're planning in having seders, just that if you guys have plans on going to his aunt's house, then it might not be something you need now, anyway. And you can wait on purchasing one when you guys have a better idea of what your holiday plans will be in the future, ya know?

I have a suspicious, based on what your Fi said, that if someone does buy you one at the Synagogue, there is a chance they were probably going to buy you one from a Synagogue even if you did have one on your registry, anyway lol.

emeejeeayen · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-jewish-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3108e3e-dab4-4f3f-8c18-73747b235be3Post:e88c6737-385a-4e45-a3aa-7d8dfc8e8f5f">Re: NER - Jewish items?</a>:
[QUOTE]We registered for some Judaica items. We had stuff from judaism.com, added via our Amazon universal registry, or sold through Amazon. We registered for a seder plate, a challah board, and benchers. We received all of these items from our registry, plus a seder plate from my mom that she saw and loved, and two menorahs for Hannukah. I think it's fine to register for Judaica stuff if you see things you like. You could also use word of mouth to make it known that you would love certain items and see what people pick out. The duplicates are not an issue for us. If we ever host big seders, we will probably want multiple seder plates (one for each end of the table), and we alternate which menorah we light during Hannukah. While we obviously like the stuff we put on our registry, the other things that people picked out for us are meaningful and will always remind us of them. I will add that if people think you consider yourself Christian, they probably will not buy you guys Judaica items. If you want Judaica items, you might want to add one or two things to your registry just to signal to people that it's an appropriate gift. Just a thought.
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

<div>I would say our guest list is 70% FI's family, and I think they expect we will raise our children Jewish. I have no problem with doing all the typical Jewish things (holidays, Hebrew school, etc) as long as the kids want that, but I would also like to celebrate Christmas and talk about the New Testament. I'm not sure his extended family is aware of that, but his immediate family is. I always go to Jewish holidays with him, so I think they sort of expect we'll continue certain traditions, which we do plan to. *shrug*</div><div>
</div><div>As for my side, my dad is Jewish, and my mom was raised Catholic but hasn't been to church in probably a solid 45 years. Her family is sort of maybe still practicing, but I think for the most part they don't. </div>

rachelm13 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-jewish-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3108e3e-dab4-4f3f-8c18-73747b235be3Post:2f63c878-427d-4f67-ad51-e096d08f16a4">Re: NER - Jewish items?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NER - Jewish items? : I would say our guest list is 70% FI's family, and I think they expect we will raise our children Jewish. I have no problem with doing all the typical Jewish things (holidays, Hebrew school, etc) as long as the kids want that, but I would also like to celebrate Christmas and talk about the New Testament. I'm not sure his extended family is aware of that, but his immediate family is. I always go to Jewish holidays with him, so I think they sort of expect we'll continue certain traditions, which we do plan to. *shrug* As for my side, my dad is Jewish, and my mom was raised Catholic but hasn't been to church in probably a solid 45 years. Her family is sort of maybe still practicing, but I think for the most part they don't.
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

<div>i have the opposite of you... my dad is Catholic, mom Jewish. FIs family is 70% of the guest list and CATHOLIC. His dad is a deacon, they go to church almost every Sunday. I go to Easter and Christmas/Christmas Eve with them. FI goes to Passover, Hanukkah and Rosh Hashanah... </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

rachelm13 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-jewish-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3108e3e-dab4-4f3f-8c18-73747b235be3Post:2f63c878-427d-4f67-ad51-e096d08f16a4">Re: NER - Jewish items?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NER - Jewish items? : I would say our guest list is 70% FI's family, and I think they expect we will raise our children Jewish. I have no problem with doing all the typical Jewish things (holidays, Hebrew school, etc) as long as the kids want that, but I would also like to celebrate Christmas and talk about the New Testament. I'm not sure his extended family is aware of that, but his immediate family is. I always go to Jewish holidays with him, so I think they sort of expect we'll continue certain traditions, which we do plan to. *shrug* As for my side, my dad is Jewish, and my mom was raised Catholic but hasn't been to church in probably a solid 45 years. Her family is sort of maybe still practicing, but I think for the most part they don't.
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

<div>i have the opposite of you... my dad is Catholic, mom Jewish. FIs family is 70% of the guest list and CATHOLIC. His dad is a deacon, they go to church almost every Sunday. I go to Easter and Christmas/Christmas Eve with them. FI goes to Passover, Hanukkah and Rosh Hashanah... </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

emeejeeayen · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-jewish-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3108e3e-dab4-4f3f-8c18-73747b235be3Post:ce23bd71-0a6f-485a-953e-97de4f4215d7">Re: NER - Jewish items?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NER - Jewish items? : Will you be holding your own Passover seders at your home? I'm not saying that you can only own one if you're planning in having seders, just that if you guys have plans on going to his aunt's house, then it might not be something you need now, anyway. And you can wait on purchasing one when you guys have a better idea of what your holiday plans will be in the future, ya know? I have a suspicious, based on what your Fi said, that if someone does buy you one at the Synagogue, there is a chance they were probably going to buy you one from a Synagogue even if you did have one on your registry, anyway lol.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh sorry, we no longer live near his aunt. Ha. </div><div>
</div><div>Also, FI is 100% clueless as far as what his family would or would not do. I have to reguarly have chats with his mom to get the real story. Which is really what I should probably do now that I think about it. </div>

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-jewish-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3108e3e-dab4-4f3f-8c18-73747b235be3Post:3a94667a-7643-4ad5-855d-f611bbd88227">Re: NER - Jewish items?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NER - Jewish items? : Oh sorry, we no longer live near his aunt. Ha. Also, FI is 100% clueless as far as what his family would or would not do. I have to reguarly have chats with his mom to get the real story. Which is really what I should probably do now that I think about it.
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]
ooh, yeah, if you're cool talking to his mom about it, I say go for it.

Barbiiieee · January 2013

I think it depends... In my family, people don't stick to registries all that well, but we sort of stick to what is on them, if that makes sense. Like, if my mom was close to you and your FI and you guys hadn't registered for a seder set, she probably wouldn't get you one... but if you registered for the one at WS she might buy you one, but she might get you a different set than the one you registered for, or she might hand you down a family set. Its kind of obnoxious, but it is the way some people are. I think you'd be fine to go ahead and register for it, and I think your FI's family might be glad to see it on the registry and know you plan on keeping traditions going. I would talk to his mom to double check, but I'm betting you will be just fine registering for it.

Jen4948 · January 2013

I don't know...I've never seen Jewish religious or cultural items on a registry. I don't think many people look for such items on registries. Most such items are sold through mom-and-pop local stores, synagogue/JCC gift shops, that kind of thing. Some of these stores do have online purchasing, although I don't know if they have registries.

If your wedding isn't scheduled for close to Passover, unfortunately I don't think anyone is likely to purchase a seder set for you off a registry.

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