E-rings and interviews

CowgirlK39 · May 2012

When I was in college, we were told by one of our professors never to wear an engagement ring to an interview, because they will see it as an indicator that you will need lots of time off for weddings/family-starting. I have always followed this rule since getting engaged, but now I may have this big interview coming up and will HAVE to tell them I am getting married. Have you heard the same thing? Have you worn yours to an interview?

BMcLeodTeam · May 2012

I was flat out honest with my interviewer when I went in for this job. I told them right off the bat that if hired I would require time off for the wedding honeymoon. I was told they appreciated my honesty, and the fact I was getting married showed I was doing the responsible move and settling down, which they saw as showing I would likely be staying put for awhile atleast.

adktd2boots · May 2012

I never heard that.
When I interviewed for the last job I was working at, I wore my ring and I was also open about the fact there would be 3 times I would need to be gone for more than a week at a time. That didn't stop them from hiring me.

Also, not everyone wears a wedding band so someone could be married with just an "e" ring. I think it's pretty shallow of someone not to hire because they think the person is engaged. They also don't know if the person is just going to the JOP or what their story is.

mamameech · May 2012

I don't like the idea of starting off a potential career/job by being dishonest; but that's just me. That being said, I've never been so desperate for a job that I've needed to pull out all the tricks. I can understand why people may consider taking off the ring but I don't think having it on is necessarily a bad thing during an interview; it could also show that you are not afraid of commitment and are at a stable point in your life.

QueerFemme · May 2012

I don't see any reason not to wear your e-ring. I don't think anyone would even think twice about it, and I interview people all of the time. Someone could be having a wedding tomorrow or in 5 years. Also, some people use their e-ring as their wedding ring, so who knows if they are already married.

Also, I don't tell anyone about time off needed unless I get an offer. If they offer me the job, I express how excited I am to join the company and say "I'd love to accept the offer. I do have a committment coming up in September that will require me to be out of the office for a week. Is that going to cause a problem?"

You don't have the job yet... you don't need to ask for time off yet... but do it as soon as you get an offer.

doublenn · May 2012

I wouldn't take it off. I wouldn't want to work for a company that is already judging me, and assuming they know what I intend to do without asking me first.

Also, some people wear their engagement rings as wedding bands, I've seen it a lot from one of the other boards, so even by assuming that you're "only" engaged, they might be wrong.

WLevine75 · May 2012

I wore my E-Ring is an interviw. I still got the job. It didnt come up in the interview at all. My first day at work I mentioned I was getting married and she had already noticed my -Ring. She was so excited. It turns out that me and another co-worker who started a couple of weeks before me are both getting married with in a month.

I heard not to wear your ring to an interview, but I did anyway.

junebug19 · May 2012

I was told something similar. When I was interning we had a seminar on interviews etc... and they said if an employer asks about you don't talk about family and especially kids b/c when you bring up kids they think sick days and half days and emergencies- instead we were told to stick to job related accomplishments and interests and hobbies. I don't think I would take my ring off or lie about needing time off, but I do think I would leave my personal life out of the interview as they suggested.

jjswin · May 2012

I was alway told the same thing in college about not wearing an engagement ring, but they also told us if they do offer you the job that is the time when you tell them you are getting married and will need time off. That way there decision is based on your work history/education and not on your life. I do have to say I feel like it's being a little dishonest but at the same time I can see a job looking at someone else because they don't want to deal with the whole time off thing.

jacquiroxx · May 2012

I just went for a second job to help pay for the wedding. Granted, it's not in a "career field" (it's in retail), but I wore mine and got the job within minutes of walking into the interview. I was completely up front & honest about needing time off for the wedding & pre-wedding parties, as well as for the wedding we're in 2 weeks before ours. It wasn't a big deal at all. I'll be interviewing again for positions within my career and plan to do the same thing.

SCogs18 · May 2012

I've always worn my ring to interviews and been upfront about the time I need off. I feel like if I didn't tell them, they would be upset when I later said I needed the time.

ejheart · May 2012

I was actually pretty torn about this subject. I wasn't worried about the time off part (as my wedding was almost a year away), but I had heard the suggestion not to wear it as it can sometimes cause a distraction. To me, my ring is a little showy, and I didn't want my interviewer focusing on anything else except for my experience and qualifications. Honestly, people always judge, whether you like to believe it or not. It's just a human instinct. So no matter what they would be thinking about my ring (anything from "oooh, how pretty" to "wow, her husband must have a great job," to, "well, she obviously doesn't need the paycheck"), I just didn't want them thinking it at all.

So, what I did was take my e-ring off and in its place wore a tiny, simple band. It's actually a band that my grandmother gave to me. That way it was still obvious that I was committed (if anyone took the time to look), but it didn't stick out as noticeable.

I didn't consider it dishonest at all, and honestly, your marital status is none of their business anyway. Technically.

volleygurl0306 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_e-rings-and-interviews?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:c42a7418-907c-4264-a7b6-158701ea58dcPost:18e3c461-7434-42f6-9d64-3f5fc305aff8">Re: E-rings and interviews</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't see any reason not to wear your e-ring. I don't think anyone would even think twice about it, and I interview people all of the time. Someone could be having a wedding tomorrow or in 5 years. Also, some people use their e-ring as their wedding ring, so who knows if they are already married.<strong> Also, I don't tell anyone about time off needed unless I get an offer. If they offer me the job, I express how excited I am to join the company and say "I'd love to accept the offer. I do have a committment coming up in September that will require me to be out of the office for a week. Is that going to cause a problem?"</strong> You don't have the job yet... you don't need to ask for time off yet... but do it as soon as you get an offer. :)
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

This. Since being engaged I've switched jobs twice and have had more than 2 interviews. I found jobs both time wearing my ring. I just never brought up the wedding because an interview is time to sell your professional self not talk about flowers and cakes. I wouldn't bring it up. If asked, I'd be honest but don't have to give too many details. Especially if the company offers paid time off and it is after any probationary period they may have (in my experience you can't use your days off for 90 days and would have to take the day unpaid), it shouldn't be a problem anyways. Turns out our honeymoon falls during my busiest week of the month so I submitted my request for time off way super early so my boss and I could discuss in advance how to best prepare for my absence.

Also, I guess I think times are different. Not everyone who is engaged gets married right away and not everyone married has babies right away. Plus, back when these professors probably looked for jobs women quit working when they got married. I think people know timelines are stretched out quite a bit more than that.

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