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Ohio-Cincinnati

We Can't Agree! HELP!!!

I was wanting a small, intimate wedding, our parents and grandparents. He wants to invite his whole family. We were going to Gatlinburg, TN for the wedding but my mom (who is paying) says that if we invite everyone, we're having our wedding in a church with the entire family of both sides in OH. But I have this phobia of walking down the isle with everyone's eyes on me (I know that's the whole point!). I could handle it with a small wedding but I would have to take something to relax me for a big church wedding. And of course, the catch, he is completely against a church wedding.

I need some suggestions becuase the planning for our wedding has become a miserable process that now we can't even bring up without arguing. I don't want this to be so stressful, please, someone help.

Re: We Can't Agree! HELP!!!

  • edited December 2011

    It is stressful, unfortunately.  You just need to find a happy medium.

    For your nerves, I can tell you that I didn't see anyone but him when I was walking down the aisle.  I had tunnel vision to the point that I was shocked when we turned around after being pronounced man and wife and there were people there.  In my mind, it was just DH and me.

    So he doesn't want a church wedding.  We were married in a chapel, that was a compromise for us.  It wasn't a church, but it was still a beautiful setting.  We brought in our own officiant too, so we weren't forced to use someone who was associated with a building.  Would something like that work for you?  Or could you try and go for an outside wedding?  Or would mom not go for that?

    Good luck with this.  It is only one day, and then you get to spend your lives together.  That really is the best part. 

  • edited December 2011
    Can you compromise?  How about a small out-of-town wedding followed by a big Ohio party afterward? If you don’t want a lot of people starring out you, would you feel comfortable walking down the aisle with your FI?  Or he could walk up and meet you half way. If he doesn’t like church weddings, then an outside ceremony is always an option.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree that it's all about compromise. I want a really big wedding, but FI wants something small and mor eeconomical. We both settled in the "middle" while creating our guest list. As long as you both are willing to compromise, you will end up with both being happy. Just remember to keep an open mind and that it's BOTH of your weddings, not just one. Good luck!!!
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you for the advice. It was very helpful and we greatly appreciate it. An outdoor wedding is definately an option. We have decided on a Gatlinburg, TN park wedding and adding about 10-15 people from our families. So it'll still be small but he's happier with the number. Now we are just settling on a time and other details.

    The new problem is that when we get back from the honeymoon (which is in Gatlinburg, TN), we plan to throw a party for the entire side of both of our families here in Cincinnati, OH that is affordable. At first we thought a church hall but his whole family enjoys to drink and a hall in a church wouldn't allow that.

    The next option was to have the "reception" at a park to kind of recreate the wedding but I was wanting a slideshow of the wedding and honeymoon pictures and possibly a video of the actual wedding and I don't know if that would even work at a park.

    Any suggestions for a really affordable reception in Cincinnati, OH that includes alcohol and the option of a slideshow for the guests?
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