Wedding venues

Kmcgrail1190 · April 2011

My fiance and I are trying to find a venue on a tight budge, So I suggested asking his aunt and Uncle who have a lot of land if we can do it in their back yard. They have a beautiful property and I would love to have it there, well when I told his mother (whom I love dearly) she suggested that we have it at her place and kind of insisted, actually, well the problem is that they don't have as much land in the back and the front yard is on a huge hill. So, I would prefer to have it at his Aunt and uncle's, but I don't want to hurt her feelings, and once she's decided on something, she's decided? How do we still ask his aunt and uncle with out hurting her feelings, or god forbid, cause a huge fight?!?

cschuma2 · April 2011

I would say that you don't. If Aunt and Uncle offer, then great! But to ask them is kind of presumptuous IMO.

If FIs mother is paying for the wedding (or even just helping to pay for part of it), she does have some say in the decision-making. There is really not anyway around this unless you decline her money and plan something that you and your FI can afford.

Have you actually thought this through and crunched the numbers? A Backyard wedding may not even save you any money over having your reception in a hall somewhere. Your local board could help you with some inexpensive recommendations.

For an outdoor wedding you will need to rent a tent, tables, chairs, linens, plates, glasses, flatware, fans if it will be warm, outdoor heaters if it will be cold, a dance floor, lighting, a way to keep food and drinks hot/cold, port-a-potties, etc. Where will everyone park? All of these things would normally be taken care of by a hall. Backyard weddings are generally not cheap or easy.

ETA: I realized that you may be just talking about having the ceremony outdoors, not the whole reception too. If so, then you can disregard about half of what I said. If this is the case, have you looked into any local parks to hold the ceremony in? That's what DH and I did and it was a very small fee plus the cost of renting chairs. Being in a park is nice simply for the parking and bathrooms if nothing else.

cassi8619 · April 2011

Ultimately it is YOUR wedding day and if you don't want it at your future mother-in-laws your best bet is to be honest (tactfully, of course). If the size of the property is a concern then express that and maybe she will realize that her place isn't suited for the event anyway. Just tell her that "as much as you appreciate the offer, and as beauitful as her home is you feel that the aunt and uncles is better suited for the occasion". The reality of wedding planning is that you are bound to step on someones toes at some point but you have to remember that it is about you and your FI and those who love you two WILL get over it

cschuma (above) is right about a lot of it though. You really may not save too much, however if you search enough you can find some great deals on tents, chairs, etc. For instance, if you belong to a church they may allow you to rent their chairs, tables etc. for a reasonable cost. Also, if you are on facebook, you may think about putting messages out asking if people know djs, hair, makeup, things like that. You would be surprised at who your friends may know. I found my dj this way, one of my friends dad is a dj and we got it super cheap.

Well, good luck! this situations can be sticky sometimes

Kmcgrail1190 · April 2011

Well, regardless of the money, which will be saved by having an uncle that owns a party rental business, and a step father that is a former chef for a five star restaurant, I just don't want to hurt her feelings, oh and P.S asking makes in NOT PRESUMPTUOUS. If I was being presumptuous, that would be me ASSUMING they woud allow us to have the wedding there before we even asked.

medusia00 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_wedding-venues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:666Discussion:f20dcac8-1017-4f59-b71b-0179738a3795Post:821e562f-5ecc-440f-9b9d-ce3dfe960606">Re: Wedding venues</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, regardless of the money, which will be saved by having an uncle that owns a party rental business, and a step father that is a former chef for a five star restaurant, I just don't want to hurt her feelings, oh and <strong>P.S asking makes in NOT PRESUMPTUOUS. If I was being presumptuous, that would be me ASSUMING they woud allow us to have the wedding there before we even asked.
</strong>Posted by Kmcgrail1190[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you have your mind made up.

tmportablerestrooms · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_wedding-venues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:f20dcac8-1017-4f59-b71b-0179738a3795Post:7d5d28bc-3359-4911-89ff-6d8c12222568">Re: Wedding venues</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say that you don't. If Aunt and Uncle offer, then great! But to ask them is kind of presumptuous IMO. If FIs mother is paying for the wedding (or even just helping to pay for part of it), she does have some say in the decision-making. There is really not anyway around this unless you decline her money and plan something that you and your FI can afford. Have you actually thought this through and crunched the numbers? A Backyard wedding may not even save you any money over having your reception in a hall somewhere. Your local board could help you with some inexpensive recommendations. For an outdoor wedding you will need to rent a tent, tables, chairs, linens, plates, glasses, flatware, fans if it will be warm, outdoor heaters if it will be cold, a dance floor, lighting, a way to keep food and drinks hot/cold, port-a-potties, etc. Where will everyone park? All of these things would normally be taken care of by a hall. Backyard weddings are generally not cheap or easy. ETA: I realized that you may be just talking about having the ceremony outdoors, not the whole reception too. If so, then you can disregard about half of what I said. If this is the case, have you looked into any local parks to hold the ceremony in? That's what DH and I did and it was a very small fee plus the cost of renting chairs. Being in a park is nice simply for the parking and bathrooms if nothing else.
Posted by cschuma2[/QUOTE]

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