Ceremony Question

angelsong21 · May 2012

Our officiant sent me his rough draft of our ceremony. This is his first wedding (he is a friend of ours who does one weekend service per week at his church, just hasn't done a wedding yet). Anyway, the way it is written now, I walk down the aisle and we go straight into the Declaration of Intention -- the "I do" part. Then he greets the group, does a reading, ring exchange, vows, etc.

Is this the right order? It feels really out of place to me to do the "I do's" right up front. I have always seen the "I do's" done right before the rings are exchanged.

Any feedback on this?

brandonmelissa12 · May 2012

I agree with you. I would think the "I dos" are right before rings. That's how our ceremony will be. I would think you come in, some sort of intro/prayer. Blab about marriage. And then the I dos and rings. Then celebration time!

professorscience · May 2012

In my ceremony, we had the liturgy before the Rite of Marriage.

It went like this:

Greeting/Opening Prayer

Readings

Gospel/Homily

Statement of Intention

Exchange of Vows

Blessing and Exchange of Rings

And then more Catholic stuff that I'm betting you aren't including.

So yeah, I would think he should reorder. Unless by "statement of intention" all he means is to ask the "who gives this bride," etc. stuff.

angelsong21 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_ceremony-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:ab45e889-4ad1-4499-9abc-8ad427a3e33aPost:6a69c422-6383-41ca-965d-0efddef6c9a4">Re: Ceremony Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In my ceremony, we had the liturgy before the Rite of Marriage. It went like this: Greeting/Opening Prayer Readings Gospel/Homily Statement of Intention Exchange of Vows Blessing and Exchange of Rings And then more Catholic stuff that I'm betting you aren't including. ;) So yeah, I would think he should reorder. <strong> Unless by "statement of intention" all he means is to ask the "who gives this bride," etc. stuff</strong>.
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

<div>Nope. He said the "I do's" are traditionally done at the beginning as a statement of intention. I have never seen this. It's always been right before the rings. Otherwise it feels like you just immediately jump into the thick of things, then back out and do the overview, and then jump right back in with the vows. It doesn't flow to me... at all. Just wondering if I losing my mind on this one.</div>

fallbride1109 · May 2012

In my ceremony, the "I Dos" were called "Consent to marriage". We didn't do the whole giving away thing so I don't know what that is called so maybe ask if that is what he meant like Amanda said. But here was ours:

Welcome
Prayer
Address and Readings
Consent ("I Dos")
Vows
Explanation of Rings
Ring Exchange
Lighting of the Unity Candle
Benediction
Prayer
Pronouncement of Marriage
Presentation ("Here are Mr. and Mrs.")
Recessional

ETA: Oh, Ok, no I have never seen it like that. Maybe just let him know what you would prefer.

MarieSD · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_ceremony-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:ab45e889-4ad1-4499-9abc-8ad427a3e33aPost:30454061-05d6-4eda-a531-450c303cba58">Ceremony Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Our officiant sent me his rough draft of our ceremony. This is his first wedding (he is a friend of ours who does one weekend service per week at his church, just hasn't done a wedding yet). Anyway, the way it is written now, I walk down the aisle and we go straight into the Declaration of Intention -- the "I do" part. Then he greets the group, does a reading, ring exchange, vows, etc. Is this the right order? It feels really out of place to me to do the "I do's" right up front. I have always seen the "I do's" done right before the rings are exchanged. Any feedback on this?
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

I can't remember the order of my ceremony, but it seems really weird to me to have ANYTHING before greeting the group. I just went to a wedding last weekend and they definitely had the greeting and a reading before they got to the "I Do's."

angelsong21 · May 2012

Stephiehall -- that's exactly the order I'm used to. I just felt taken aback when he said, "No, traditionally the Declaration of Intent is first." Never heard it that way and thought I was having a crazybrain moment. LOL. I don't want to be "given away" either. I've been independent from my parents for almost a decade, so I don't know why anyone would need to give me a way. I know for some bride's it's just a really sentimental moment, though, and I respect that... just not something I need.

MarieSD -- Exactly! Why would you do anyting but address the group first? It seems so weird to instantly get serious, then back out and address the group, then go back into the serious stuff.

cwaggoner07 · May 2012

Not to go against the flow, but I have seen this before. It's not a part of the vows, it's just what, as my officiant said, is required to begin the marriage ceremony since it's the only legal part of any ceremony in America.
Or as FI says, making sure one last time the groom isn't doing it against his will.

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