Weekend Wrap-Up

medusia00 · December 2010

We can talk, wedding related happenings over the weekend, or non-wedding related happenings!!
It's up to you!!

What did you do this weekend?

medusia00 · December 2010

I feel a little bit behind, I didn't do anything this weekend WR. I do know that it doesn't need to happen every weekend, but I had plans to work on my center pieces and just didn't do them! lol

NWR: We had our "Family" Christmas dinner this weekend. By Family I mean my best friends and myself. We take our familys out for dinner so it was, Abbie(MOH), Dee(MOH) and Dee's Family. FI had to work

But it was fun!

Hope everyone was safe in the snow this weekend!!

hsbstone · December 2010

Christmas shopping on Friday; mailing and packing up on Saturday; Christmas shopping again on Sunday = feet hurting, tiredness, back ache...not fun.

ks107021 · December 2010

With the weather we hung tight inside for the weekend and that was actually kind of nice! WR: Finally tackled our guest list and got a spreadsheet started. NWR: Just chilled with FI, got some presents wrapped and house clean. So exciting, I know!

ToBeMrs2011 · December 2010

This is going to be lengthy, just fair warning! I actually ended up "letting go" (for lack of a better phrase), one of my bridesmaids.

I am 30 years old. I have a friend who I have known for 25 years, I'll refer to as P. She's always been a great friend, someone I could count on, etc. I asked her to be a bridesmaid a few months into our engagement and well over a year away from the actual wedding date. I also said that if she needed time to think about it (the wedding is out of state for her), I completely understand and to just let me know. She said right away, of course she would be a bridesmaid and couldn't wait.

Fast forward a few months and she starts behaving oddly. At first, I thought perhaps it was due to the fact that in those few months, she had gotten engaged to her bf of 9 years & then he broke it off. I thought maybe she had some weird feelings because of that. P then made a series of random statements that with work being so busy for her, that she probably wouldn't have time to make it to the rehearsal...and would probably have to fly in and out on the same day. This made me feel a little sad, like she was just penciling in our wedding. But I held my tongue because I wasn't sure how I should react. I didn't want to come off as some sort of bridezilla (something I go out of my way to not be). It wasn't like I was asking her to come a week in advance to help out. But I thought, as part of the job of being a bridesmaid, you make time for things like a rehearsal the night before the wedding.

However, when I spoke with a mutual friend of ours (I'll call R) of 25 years, R said that P had done that exactly same thing at her wedding. In fact, P did not help with her shower and did not even show up for it. P had also skipped out on the rehearsal and just showed up the day of the wedding. R had been hurt and thought it was strange for P to have acted that way. And all of this had happened in 2003...so I kind of threw out the idea of her recent relationship problems being a cause for her behavior. R advised me that if I did keep P in the wedding that I should do so with absolutely no expectations for P to participate in anything but the ceremony.

I decided to wait while I decided what to do about P. Last week, I sent her a brief note just to touch base since we hadn't had contact recently and the note said absolutely nothing regarding the wedding, I just wanted to check in on her and see how she was doing. She responded this Saturday with a little chit chat, asked about how wedding plans were going and then proceeded to tell me that our wedding lands on a date a week before a big deadline at work. That she wasn't even sure how she would be able to make it to the wedding and that perhaps I should think about finding a "back up bridesmaid" in case she couldn't make it. But she hadn't totally thought about it yet because it's so far away still and there have been thinking she's been busy with.

I decided that was my cue. I wrote her back and said that because she had a lot on her plate that it would be best to "let her off the hook".

This post is long enough so I won't go into details...but I said it nicely. I acknowledged that I knew our wedding was going to difficult for some people to make...and that in the end, this solution would be less stress for everyone involved. She is absolutely still invited and would be welcomed with open arms if she can make it away from work. And that I have no "bad" feelings about it.

I truly don't.

R seems to think that it's sad that work is so much of a priority to her, especially when it comes to a friend of 25 years' wedding. I agree that I think it's sad that work is that important to her (and mind you she's a senior level manager at her firm, she is not struggling for money, I say that because I know that is not the case for everyone).

But having said all that, I feel great about the decision. I think that in the end, this decision will save our friendship. I think there would have been tension had she stayed on as a bridesmaid and then had nothing to do with the wedding.

It still makes me sad, because she's been such a good friend for such a long time, I wanted her to be there. But I believe I made the right decision. As time went by and all of her little comments and then with her message this weekend. I just knew that she wasn't committed to being there for the wedding.

jesscmpls · December 2010

NWR: Went to work in a crazy blizzard and shoveled 17 inches of snow! (lame)
Then went christmas shopping on sunday.

WR: Went and picked my engagement ring from the store(it had a loose stone) and also picked up my wedding band.

deregniern · December 2010

ToBeMrs2011 I'm sorry about your bridesmaid problem. I hope things go better for you now though.

WR- Finally got our epics ordered so can give them as Christmas gifts. Finished up our design on the STD just need to order them from vistaprint.

NWR- FI and I celebrated our 3 years anniversary. We were crazy enough to venture out for dinner Saturday night, but came home after and spent the rest of the night in front of the fireplace with FI trying to teach me to play some game on our Xbox 360... what a trooper he is.

medusia00 · December 2010

ToBe, I"m sorry your friend is acting that way. I'm glad you took it the way you did, and didn't freak out!

Sounds like everyone had some fun in the snow too

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