June 2012 Weddings

Work Vent (NWR)

So FI and I have been working together for a number of years (5+) and we got called into the Director's office yesterday. We were informed that we cannot work together anymore and it is likely one of us is going to have to resign by the time our wedding rolls around. HR is going to talk about it, review our personnel records, etc. and let us know on Monday morning.

So we're taking this weekend to talk about it since we obviously don't know what this is going to mean for us financially. We were talking about having kids and whatnot so this is going to have a major impact on our long-term plans. I am willing to make that sacrifice since I hate this job, and he is paid more (he's upper management and I'm middle management) so this is the likely scenario.

In any case, it sucks that it's happening but - what can ya do? That's life I suppose...
Vacation White Knot

Re: Work Vent (NWR)

  • What?! That seems crazy to me. Were you guys together before you started working there or did you meet through work?
    June 16, 2012
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  • We met through work; we were both at entry-level when we started working so I guess it wasn't a big deal back then. Now...I guess it is
    Vacation White Knot
  • edited February 2012
    Oh no, that's terrible. My company has multiple married couples but they all work in different departments. I would certainly ask the senior mananger for referral/recommendation or to ask around his circle to help find you a new job. I have  friends who this has happened and it just stinks. Hopefully with 3 months to the wedding that gives one of you time to find a new one.
  • Its unfortunate but many companies have policies like these. My mom and Fi work together and it caused sort of a problem. They have a very strict no fratnizing policy at there company. Because my mom and fi weren't the ones actually dating they let it slide but there was alot of discussion about it for awhile.

    I'm actually surprised that your company hasn't brought this up to you guys before. It really stinks that one of you will be losing your job now.
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  • Aww that sucks!
    Do you directly report to him? I could see that being a problem... but if you don't work directly for him maybe it will be okay. I met my FI at work as well.. he hired me, but we didn't start dating till after he left the company.
  • Wow that's really crappy. Hopefully HR can help
  • This makes zero sense.  They were okay with you dating and working together, but not married?  Usually dating causes more drama in the workplace than marriage.  I hope they give you a chance to show that you are professional enough to not let it make a difference. I'm sorry.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_work-vent-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:39f7f8ff-ebd2-4666-a902-d08ca695b179Post:5ae7b0c7-b82d-494d-928f-e83a3fdf24c7">Re: Work Vent (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]This makes zero sense.  They were okay with you dating and working together, but not married?  Usually dating causes more drama in the workplace than marriage.  I hope they give you a chance to show that you are professional enough to not let it make a difference. I'm sorry.
    Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

    Yes!
    June 16, 2012
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  • That is really crappy, and I would be super pissed about it.
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  • @ Chelsea: I don't get it either. We work at a small town location of a major conglomerate company and I don't know if they weren't aware of it before now or what made the HR antennas go up but I agree it's crappy.

    I'm a bit ticked but it's one of those things I realize is way beyond my control. I'm just disappointed it had to work out like this.

    Vacation White Knot
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_work-vent-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:39f7f8ff-ebd2-4666-a902-d08ca695b179Post:70fc8a11-5c25-4a58-a2e6-f6cefc8ec83e">Re: Work Vent (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]@ Chelsea: I don't get it either. We work at a small town location of a major conglomerate company and I don't know if they weren't aware of it before now or what made the HR antennas go up but I agree it's crappy. I'm a bit ticked but it's one of those things I realize is way beyond my control. I'm just disappointed it had to work out like this.
    Posted by melntaitt[/QUOTE]

    Is it truly in the handbook that you guys can't work together? or are they making new policies?
    Argh I'd be so pissed. Heck I am pissed for you lol
  • That really stinks. But since you hate the job maybe this is just the push you need to look for a new one. Hopefully hr can help you. Good luck!
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  • Do they give you the company policy in wording? It's very strange that they would have told you NOW, usually they sit you down once they find out you are dating.

    How strict is the policy? Would changing departments solve the issue? Or is it a business with multiple locations and one of you can get transferred? 

    I would also speak to them about the possibility of laying you off, rather than you quitting, so you can file for unemployment (if you live in a state that doesn't give unemployment benefits to people who are fired/quit). 

    Also, that really blows. 
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_work-vent-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:39f7f8ff-ebd2-4666-a902-d08ca695b179Post:1cdb9383-b440-4a9c-8a9e-e794cbeecb11">Re: Work Vent (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Work Vent (NWR) : Is it truly in the handbook that you guys can't work together? or are they making new policies? Argh I'd be so pissed. Heck I am pissed for you lol
    Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
    This is what I was just thinking and I would deifnitely be looking into the policies on my own to make sure they're not being bent to suit them<div>
    </div><div>I know many companies have policies about relationships but I don't think I've heard of it suddenly changing when you go from dating to married, I've always thought they nipped it right away instead of carrying it out.</div>
  • That's crazy!  Where I am you have to have a meeting set up with HR in order to even date anyone who works for the company and discuss how you'll behave at work if you need to interact and what happens if you break up or anything.  HR then gets to approve if you can date or not.  I understand why they do it but geez.
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  • melntaittmelntaitt member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited February 2012
    The section they gave us was Nepotism and the letter said:

    "Your respective positions create a conflict of interest or appear to create a conflict of interest" Therefore, your continued employment at your branch and within this agency is being reviewed at this time.

    ::Edit:: The perspective changed (I assume) because after marriage we become immediate family so that was their reasoning. I don't agree with it but...
    Vacation White Knot
  • Is there anything about dating/personal relationships in your company handbook or is it just frowned upon? Otherwise they are opening themselves up for an employment practices lawsuit for wrongful termination. Are there others dating or married in the company?
  • I would be looking for a job that you may like but in the mean time if they 'force" one of you to leave the company i would be taking it up with labor & relations. Our labor board would never allow something like that to happen.
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  • I would be looking for a job that you may like but in the mean time if they 'force" one of you to leave the company i would be taking it up with labor & relations. Our labor board would never allow something like that to happen.
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  • Thanks for the support ladies; they don't have a clause about dating but it is generally frowned upon.

    We talked about it today and I decided to start looking. I really don't like this job anyway and I'm choosing to look at it as an opportunity to find something better. FH is up for a pretty big promotion (additional $15, 000 per year) and we really don't want to mess that up.

    In any case, it just might be time to start moving forward.
    Vacation White Knot
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