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Wedding Fears: Missing "The Bride Gene"???

[Deleted User][Deleted User]
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in North Carolina-Outer Banks
I think the more I get into all of this, the more it seems blatantly obvious that I must be missing what so many of you seem to have - the bride gene.

When my sister got married, it was all she thought about. She was eating, sleeping, and breathing weddings. She loved planning everything. I'm the complete opposite.

I've been asked so many times in the past couple of weeks if I've got my dress, my reception planned, cakes, flowers.. yadda, yadda, yadda. My answer is constantly the same "no, no, no".

It's not that I don't enjoy this, it's just that I'd rather plan an amazing honeymoon trip to the beach with my husband than my trip down the aisle. If it was completely up to me, I'd elope on the beach. I almost feel more like the dude in this planning, than the girl that everyone else seems to be. Is something wrong with me?! Does anyone else ever feel like this?


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Re: Wedding Fears: Missing "The Bride Gene"???

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    OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    No honey...there is nothing wrong with you at all!  I wish I could just reach out and give you a hug with a pat on the back and tell you this allllll going to be ok!  :)

    I think once you find your dress....things may change for you.  There is nothing like finding THE dress....the moment will totally come over you.  Once you get your vision going, then everything else will start coming together for you.  I have had my moments along the way, I think we all have, that you look at your FI and say "is it too late to elope now?" and it's completely ok to feel that way.  There are going to be fun and exciting times ahead and there will also be stressful stomp your foot down moments too.  Like I have said before, it's nothing that a few sips (chugs in my case, lol) of wine can't take care of.

    Is there anything I can help you with? 

    ~~hugs~~

     

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    Scheff725Scheff725
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    edited December 2011
    I had a similar panic... I was super pumped to start planning and looking at everything and when it has started to come down to actually making decisions I can't seem to make one! Maybe thats when a planner would come in handy for both of us??

    Like OBX has said though, perhaps once the dress is found it will seem more real and the excitement will start to come out! :)
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    tcigaltcigal member
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    edited December 2011
    I've been going through planning to not even thinking about it phases too; I haven't gotten super into it until the last week or 2 (the wedding is now exactly 2 months away) and I definitely wasn't thinking about much until I got the dress; that makes it all a lot more real.

    HOWEVER.... there's nothing wrong with eloping!  That was our first though and research; in the end, it became too important to have family there, and my fiancee's immediate family wouldn't have even been able to afford going to an island or something and wouldn't accept us paying for it.... why do you say you can't?  Maybe that's the best bet- and then if your mom or family member who's big into the celebration part wants to plan a local party for everyone to attend, you can show pictures in a slideshow/the wedding video/whatever you want there!

    Is FI big into a traditional wedding?  Why do you feel you can't elope? As my mom keeps telling me, when it comes down it it, it's really just between the 2 of you! :-)

    No matter what, things will fall into place and you'll be happy- but put yourself first!!!
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    rebecca2929rebecca2929 member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so not into planning either but it's all I've donce since we got engaged on Valentine's Day.  We both wanted to elope but my mom thru a sh** fit when I mentioned it.  It scares me at the thought of walking down the aisle and having 55 family members starting at me all at once.  I'm looking forward to the honeymoon (and the cake) more than the wedding.  Honestly, I'm ready for it to be over so I can have some normalcy back in my life.  Don't get me wrong though, I'm super excited about marrying Joey.

    18 more days and counting!!!!
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    ldybug78ldybug78
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    edited December 2011
    I was the same way until about 2 weeks ago- my wedding is in a month.  I didn't really get excited about it until then.  It always seemed so far away and overwhelming.  We are actually going to the outerbanks like an elopement but are bringing immediate family- it's one place I knew everyone could afford.  They'd be spending the same there as if we had a big wedding and they'd have to pay for bridal showers, bridesmaid dresses, tuxes, etc.  Now they get a vacation out of it. 
    Lisa Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers
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    asoho0704asoho0704 member
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    edited December 2011
    It just depends!  I personally ran a local charity (Kicking for Kids Who Can't), was the charity events coordiantor and president of the DC Kickball District division for 3 years - so as you can tell, I love planning events and parties in my spare time.

    However, I get overwhelmed when it comes to planning my OWN events too.  I was freaking out immediately, until I'd booked a venue.  Once that was done, I was just relieved, and the rest is fun. :)  

    If you want a simple wedding, have one!  Casual dress, simple food, wedding in the sand, and close friends.  If you don't want to do a reception, you could go to a great dinner afterwards and then dancing or something!  Another great resource to use is your friends.  Just ask for their suggestions and be open! :) Good luck!!
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    RussoWillRussoWill
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    edited December 2011
    You're totally normal! I was hoping my mom was going to take the reins and start planning away. After a few months of being engaged, I realized neither of us like planning, so it was up to me to get the ball rolling.  I'd recommend planning in little spurts. Pick a task, complete it and forget about wedding stuff for a few weeks. I've been doing that and have only recently started freaking out about the little details (less than 2 months away!)  Even as someone who hates planning, there will be some very exciting moments and you will get into it.  Finding the venue, finding THE dress etc.  You're not a dude, some women just don't like planning weddings haha
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    maria356maria356
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    edited December 2011
    Thank goodness I am not the only one!! I really thought that I was having some kind of cold feet because I just could not find a place to have the wedding. Nothing interested me. I think people put so much emphasis on this day it gets to be overwhelming. Its so many decisions and a lot of money to spend. I hate when people ask me about the wedding too. I know they are trying to be nice but still its just another reminder that I have a long to do list.

    All I can say is do what feels right. My fiance and I are doing just his parents and my parents and 1 or 2 close friends to keep things simple and minimal stress. So much cheaper too because we want to go crazy on our honeymoon Smile
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    DestinationBride12DestinationBride12
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina-outer-banks_wedding-fears-missing-bride-gene?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:598Discussion:9301abaf-831c-41c9-b608-5bd3dafc4544Post:29aa42e0-8b96-493e-9f86-30ca074731ad">Wedding Fears: Missing "The Bride Gene"???</a>:
    [QUOTE]If it was completely up to me, I'd elope on the beach. I almost feel more like the dude in this planning, than the girl that everyone else seems to be.
    Posted by TeachLibrary[/QUOTE]

    DITTO!!!!
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