Disappointed...

finleyac · July 2012

So I'm an August 4 bride, and I've contacted most of the missing RSVP's since my deadline was the first. I think I'm a bit crazy for feeling this way, but I'm kinda disappointed in the number of people who aren't coming to the wedding. I kinda wanted my wedding to be bigger than what it is ending up to be, and I'm bummed about it. Anyone having similar thoughts? What to do?

iriscarmendiaz · July 2012

Hey Girlie, I understand. I'm also an August 4 bride, and I've had a decline rate of 76% (I was only expecting 50%).

I think you should try and look on the bright side. People who care about you will be there, and intimate weddings can have a different level of wonderful possibilities that don't generally happen with bigger weddings. Maybe you can upgrade food, or serve (more) alcohol, or even be able to talk more with guests and pose for more pictures. I think your guests will be happy with your wedding either way, and I think by the end of it, you'll look back and realize you had a wonderful time.

Cheer up. :-)

dawnp917 · July 2012

I've always wanted a smaller wedding. Our accepts ended up at 76 which was at the high end of what I wanted. I was originally thinking between 50-75.

libby2483 · July 2012

I think this will give you the chance to spend more time with each guest that is attending, as well as save some money that can be used elsewhere. I'm actually worried that too many people are saying yes! We only invited 7 more than our venue capacity, but I found out later that that capacity is with 10 to a table, which I think is too crowded. We are hoping to have enough nos that we can seat 8 or 9 to a table and people are comfortable. Distant relatives that my FI's parental swore would never come are attending. Plus my dad just told my cousins they could bring random dates! I really do want people to come, so it isn't like I want them to say no, but I am worried about our guests fitting comfortably.

ElyseE25 · July 2012

I did feel that way at first but as the number got smaller I actually got more excited because I don't like big crowds anyway, and from a money standpoint we wont have to spend as much! We have about a 75% yes rate, which is think is pretty good. I definitely expected it because quite a few people don't live in the same state and I new they wouldn't be able to make it becuase they wont drive more than 4 hours to get somewhere.

frantastic12 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_disappointed-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:5aebb6e6-83b5-48d2-84fe-e3cd16a34cadPost:85edf11f-0e7a-40d4-b8e5-1734b7695fb5">Disappointed...</a>:
[QUOTE]So I'm an August 4 bride, and I've contacted most of the missing RSVP's since my deadline was the first. I think I'm a bit crazy for feeling this way, but I'm kinda disappointed in the number of people who aren't coming to the wedding. I kinda wanted my wedding to be bigger than what it is ending up to be, and I'm bummed about it. Anyone having similar thoughts? What to do?
Posted by finleyac[/QUOTE]

I'm also an 8/4 bride and I feel the same way. Our venue is really big, so I'm worried that it's going to look empty. Our tables can seat 8-10 people, so I'm going to try and keep it at 8 per table so that we have more tables and take up more room. I also regret not inviting some people, but it would be too late & awkward to do it now.

I've been trying not to take it too personally, but one decline really hurt. My aunt (who is my godmother) called my mom a couple of months ago to ask when our wedding was (we sent out STDs, but she obviously didn't keep it). My mom told her 8/4, and my aunt said "oh, I scheduled our cruise for that week. I'll have to change it". My mom called her the other night because we hadn't received their RSVP...and they (aunt & uncle) decided to go on the cruise that week anyway.

I've been trying to look on the bright side at the people who ARE coming; I have a cousin who I haven't seen in 10 years who is coming, and FI's uncle--who FI hasn't seen in 4 years and I've never met--is too.

evalynn68 · July 2012

I am an 8/5 bride and at first we felt the same way. We invited 127 and 70 are coming. We excpected about 95 or so. We knew in our heart, some were not going to make the trip. However, we realized the people who said YES are the ones we really wanted there. They are the ones who count. For us, we are not saving much money as our caterer has a minimum of 80 (kosher) ---- however, we know we are going to have a tremendous time.

VNEluvsAJB · July 2012

We've had a few declines that made us a little sad but like PPs have said just know that the people who really care about you and FI will be there. If you're worried about it looking a little sparse then seat fewer people at the tables or add a few bistros around the dance floor. Also, be glad you'll have more time to spend with the people you really want to see or see rarely. The more I've thought about it the more excited I am that our wedding is a little smaller than we planned because it's going to mean more fun and less stress on the wedding day.

Ajoyd · July 2012

It is the weirdest thing, I orginally wanted a smaller wedding, like 75 people, but now I feel kind of strange about it like, "there are only 75 people who like me enough to come to my wedding?" Which I know is not the case because there are people who can't come for all sorts of logistical reasons, but I can't help but take it personally.

eguzman2323 · July 2012

If it makes you feel any better..I wish i was in your situation. Everyone told me to invite about 20-30 more people than my original plan beacuse of the normal decline rate, so I did and now im in quite a pickle since only 2 people have declined so far

unicorntrees · July 2012

I'm disappointed as well. We invited just under 140 people, roughly split half and half between my family and FI's family. I knew that most of my family wouldn't be able to make it because they are OOT, but there were more people than I thought told me they might be able to make it back when I sent out STDs. Well of course, most them aren't coming, so our guest list of who's coming is at 50%. The added disappointment is that our venue charges for 100 people regardless, so if less than 100 people come, we pay extra anyway.

Our RSVP date is in 2 days, so I'll be making phone calls soon, so maybe the acceptance rate will go up. I'm pretty doubtful that we will hit 100, but if we got close, I'd be okay with that. I know that people say to enjoy those that will be there, and I will enjoy their company and I'm glad that all the important people are coming, but it's just frustrating to plan for one thing for so long and then have to adjust everything.

Ballet513 · July 2012

I'm sort of happy ab the decline rate to be honest. We invited 232 and have 142 attending and 12 still unaccounted for. I'm also an 8/4 bride.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

I've only had about 1/3 of people respond, but we're at a 25% decline rate. I'm not disappointed in the overall number (in fact, I'm generally pleased), but there are specific people who can't make it that make me sad. I wouldn't say disappointed- they all have really legitimate reasons for not being able to come (1 has med school orientation, 1 has med school clinicals, 1 has law school orientation) and they'd all come if they could. So I'm not disappointed in them, per se, but sad that timing didn't work out. But it happens, you know?

mrsR12 · July 2012

Same here, we have to meet a 150 people minimum, so we're paying for 150. We invited 230 bc we're told that 20% will say no, we only have 97 yes so far. and our deadline is less than a week away, we need another 53 ppl!!!

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