Registry at store owned by bride's mother?

miranda1211 · January 2012

Hi everybody, I'm facing a bit of a dilemma when it comes to our registry options.

My FI and I live in Houston but are getting married in my hometown. It's a quite small town, and major chain stores like BBB, Target, etc. are a minimum of 45 minutes away. A large portion of the guest list are older individuals who live in my hometown. My mother owns a gift store there, and frequently does wedding registries for other brides. She carries a lot of houseware and kitchen items, and her customers frequently tell her how nice it is to be able to purchase wedding gifts without having to leave town. It's also the only store of this kind in the town.

But now, I'm the one getting married! Some of my mother's friends are currently working to give me a shower in mid- to late-February. We have set up a registry at BBB and Dillard's, but I know that a lot of the people invited to the wedding won't want to have to leave town. My mother and I have actually talked about this many times over the past several years; she's asked a few of her close friends for their opinion, and they have all said that we should definitely have a registry at her store... but we still feel uncomfortable about it.

My mom has come to the conclusion that it's okay to have my registry at her store, as long as we have a registry somewhere else in town. Problem is, there's really only one other option in town, and it's a hardware store. Not that we can't use things from there, but it doesn't really feel like we're really giving guests much of a choice.

So... what's the proper etiquette here? Don't register at her store at all? Register there and not worry about it? Only register at her home if there's another in-town option?

CN: I'm getting married in my small hometown, and the only local store appropriate for a registry is owned by my mother. Should I register there?

SCogs18 · January 2012

Personally, I think it's alright if you register at her store. You've registered at two other national chains and you've asked around and friends seem to think its acceptable as well. I don't blame you for being nervous about the idea of it, as it could come off as a little questionable, but at the same time, some of your guets, especially older guests, may not want to travel 45 minutes to buy you a gift (and may not be comfortable with online ordering).

Simply Fated · January 2012

I say skip the registry at her store and use cash gifts for her store. You can use the hardware store for the shower, if you want. My answe is based on you because you said you feel uncomfortable about it. What if... if people want to buy you stuff from your mom's store she can direct them to stuff you would want. But I'd skip the actual registry, if it makes you uncomfortable.

Ali092011 · January 2012

I agree that it's fine!

But skip it if it makes you uncomfortable; just know that it doesn't seem like most people find it questionable.

hoffse · January 2012

My hometown is like this: nearest BBB is 40 minutes away, but we have a small boutique in town that has nice giftware with a popular registry. It seems like everybody registers there. I don't really want to, but I probably will anyway because enough guests like it. I would say go ahead and do it, because it's inconvenient to have to drive 45 minutes to get to a national chain. My only concern would be to make sure you have a wide range of prices there - that's really the big problem with the boutique in my town: everything is so expensive that a lot of people end up driving anyway so that they don't have to spend as much. But yeah, if you can find a good price range there, go on ahead.

miranda1211 · January 2012

Thanks for the input, all! I was worried that my mother's friends were just "biased," so to speak, so I appreciate some outside perspectives!

StephBeanWed61502 · January 2012

Is there any chance you could have an unpublished registry at your mom's store? Then, if her friends specifically ask about it, she can provide it to them, but you're not explicitly directing all of your guests to buy stuff from your mom. Maybe this would be a good compromise to accommodate those who don't want to leave town/order online from your other registries?

sweetredhead · January 2012

I totally get the small town no options thing. My hometown is the way. I am really ok with you registering at your moms store. Knowing the ladies from my home town church they would side eye you for not registering there lol. You have options for those who don't live there or want to go somewhere other than your moms store. At fist I didn't register for any local stores and I literally was asked 10 times "you didn't register at the mercantile?" I finally did and got everything off that list. Hometown small town ladies like their shops and that includes our mom's shop.

aragx6 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-store-owned-brides-mother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:19c74051-be40-4a7f-a15b-48cf41b95a50Post:0290d1a6-24b4-4152-a32f-3aa423377807">Re: Registry at store owned by bride's mother?</a>:
[QUOTE]Is there any chance you could have an unpublished registry at your mom's store? Then, if her friends specifically ask about it, she can provide it to them, but you're not explicitly directing all of your guests to buy stuff from your mom. Maybe this would be a good compromise to accommodate those who don't want to leave town/order online from your other registries?
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

I think this is a great idea.

Honestly, even though I know there aren't a ton of other options, this feels ... icky to me. Like you're making money off others on both the front and back end. I totally don't think that's what you intend, but I do think it has the possibility of coming across that way.

Registry at store owned by bride's mother?

Re: Registry at store owned by bride's mother?

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