Ok, so my father has been in and out of my life since I became an adult. He was a no good, unfaithful husband to my mom who passed when I was 16. They divorced when I was 2 but shared parenting and he was very active and involved in a good way right up until I became an adult. Then, when he couldn't dictate my life to me as a kid anymore and I disagreed with him on some things, he became extremely distant, left the state and barely spoke to me.
I recently received collection notices on his behalf at my address making me wonder if he fraudulently put my address and phone number (I got calls too from billers) down for his delinquent accounts. Recently, after a couple funerals in our family he stated that he wants to be a better person even though he is struggling with deciding if he wants to put his stamp of approval via his presence on my impending marriage (not that it would matter to me).
So in a nutshell right now he doesn't know if he will be prepared to come as either a guest or to walk me down the aisle but he wants me to keep an open mind just in case he decides that is what he wants to do.
I am torn because on the one hand I want to give him a chance to straighten up and fly right. But on the other hand, 1) I don't trust him and 2) my amazing uncle has already offered to walk me down the aisle and I said that would be great. I don't know if it would be the right thing to do to allow my dad to dictate when he wants to be a part of things or if he wants to be a part of things, and then potentially tell my uncle, oh, my dad is ok with everything now so he'll walk me.
Another thing is that right now my uncle is walking with a cane and I'm not even sure if he'll be able to walk me. If not, I was planning on having another family member walk me. But letting my dad jump in and out when he wants just feels wrong. I'm leaning towards not giving him that privilege. What do you all think?