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He got his orders...

dissipativesouldissipativesoul
10 Comments
in Military Brides
So he got his orders yesterday. Ft. Bragg, NC 
That's 18 hours away from this small town in Texas and 21 days prior to our planned wedding date.

This Negative Nancy needs some optimism! lol 
Anyone know what Ft. Bragg, North Carolina is like?... born and raised in Texas here.
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Re: He got his orders...

  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Sorry for the loop you've been thrown!  Make sure he has leave approved so he can come home for the wedding, unless you choose to move it up a few days before you have to leave!

    I'm sure you knew you'd be moving when you decided to marry a military guy, yes?  You need to try to be positive about each move or else it's going to be torture doing it every 2 years or so.  I don't know Ft Bragg, but I do know about moving - try to explore your new town, find groups to join that suit your interests, and keep busy and active!  I think adapting depends a lot on your attitude - if you're convinced you won't like it, you probably won't.  Going in with a sense of adventure doesn't mean you'll love the place, but it'll make it a lot more liveable for the time you're there!  And the good news is no duty station is permanent - you just have to stick it out until you have to move again!

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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I remember your previous posts about hoping it would be in Texas because of your son. Have you decided if you will move with him?

    I'm sorry it's not what you wanted. I am also moving VERY far from my childhood home. It's not going to be easy but at least you now know where you'll be.
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  • dissipativesouldissipativesoul
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes I was fully aware of a relocation when I decided to marry this man. :)

    ~LetsHikeToday~ Thanks for remembering the previous post. My son is my biggest worry of course. I'm excited to start a new life in another state!  .... but uprooting my 7 year old Asperger's child is a little scary. 

    This whole "loop" is in the process of rationalizing itself in my brain. Undecided
    Everything happens for a reason. And you are right ~calindi~ adapting depends on attitude. 
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_got-his-orders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:a0758cab-bc67-422c-aa27-31e842f54a35Post:da3cf9bb-80f9-45b8-bdcb-7a21a1e4a505">Re: He got his orders...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes I was fully aware of a relocation when I decided to marry this man. :) ~LetsHikeToday~ Thanks for remembering the previous post. My son is my biggest worry of course. I'm excited to start a new life in another state!  .... but uprooting my 7 year old Asperger's child is a little scary.  This whole "loop" is in the process of rationalizing itself in my brain.  Everything happens for a reason. And you are right ~calindi~ adapting depends on attitude. 
    Posted by dissipativesoul[/QUOTE]

    As a teacher, I promise you your son will be able to adjust. I have new students with autism all the time. It takes a month or two but they've all become super well adjusted and happy.
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  • dissipativesouldissipativesoul
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_got-his-orders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a0758cab-bc67-422c-aa27-31e842f54a35Post:82b40f1d-fcae-49d6-9142-0e4625b45070">Re: He got his orders...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: He got his orders... : As a teacher, I promise you your son will be able to adjust. I have new students with autism all the time. It takes a month or two but they've all become super well adjusted and happy.
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    <div>I have confidence my son will do great and adapt well with time! He's a very positive intelligent child. It took many years for him to gain a friend, so taking him from that friend (or all his family) is the sad/scary part for me.  </div><div>Thanks for the optimism<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" /></div>
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh, I can totally understand the fear of change then!  Do some research - I think preparing children with autism for change is a big part of them accepting it (my cousin has Fragile X Syndrome, which presents a lot of autism symptoms).  Perhaps write a book about the new place and the move and read it to him?  You can just use photos you find online and copy/paste into Word and add text, print it out and use clips to hold it together - doesn't have to be fancy!  Just some visual aids to help him adjust to the idea.  Make it into an adventure for him, too.  Have him help you come up with ideas for what you can do in the new place, and have him take an active part in designing his new room - perhaps you can get the new things and move them into his room now so that when you move, they'll be familiar?

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  • dissipativesouldissipativesoul
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_got-his-orders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a0758cab-bc67-422c-aa27-31e842f54a35Post:a8dd60f1-356e-4b5a-a278-bee5911572fe">Re: He got his orders...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh, I can totally understand the fear of change then!  Do some research - I think preparing children with autism for change is a big part of them accepting it (my cousin has Fragile X Syndrome, which presents a lot of autism symptoms).  Perhaps write a book about the new place and the move and read it to him?  You can just use photos you find online and copy/paste into Word and add text, print it out and use clips to hold it together - doesn't have to be fancy!  Just some visual aids to help him adjust to the idea.  Make it into an adventure for him, too.  Have him help you come up with ideas for what you can do in the new place, and have him take an active part in designing his new room - perhaps you can get the new things and move them into his room now so that when you move, they'll be familiar?
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    <div>Fear of change indeed! I try to talk with my son days, weeks, months prior to any known major event just to help prepare him. Losing his first tooth a couple weeks ago was a HUGE meltdown, but he processed it and I think he's ready for the next time. He's already got another loose! lol He's a planner. He's already saving pennies for college. Planning his room is a pretty good idea. I might try that or make a social story with pictures.</div>
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    awww :(
    I, too, remember your previous post. I'm sorry you didn't get what you guys were hoping for.. Unfortunately we all know too well that the military doesn't like to make our lifes easy, but it does make us stronger.. and this could turn out to be an incredible experience for you and son.
    It can be so tough on the military brats to have to move and make new friends, but it is also a great socializing excercise for them. Look at this as an opportunity to help your son with his social skills.. I bet he'll surprise you :)
    I know a few people that live in NC (ft Bragg) right now that love it, but I personally have never been there so I"m a little useless as far as that goes.

    I'm also sorry it's so close to your wedding :( If it makes you feel any better I almost didn't have a groom.. lol. The Navy decided to send a bunch of the guys to SD right around our wedding, including FI, for 3 weeks. umm.. yeah. Not good. We got it figured out but now he'll be leaving the day after our wedding. swell. Oh well, at least I have him for the day of right? ;) 21 days is sucky, but you guys will make it work, and once you are settled in with your stuff in NC it will be easy to relax, explore, and get used to your new home.
    Keep us updated!
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  • dissipativesouldissipativesoul
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ~firsttimersluck~ That Chevy Limo is priceless!!

    Socializing exercise is a great way to word the situation. AND probably the best thing for my son. Realizing now it might benefit him to move around... prepare him for the real world and get him out of the small town bubble. hmmmm. 

    You all have already helped ease my mind! THANKS!!

    As for wedding date. It must change. It will have to be moved up by at least a month or two. Yikes! and I thought 7 months wasn't long enough already.Cool
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_got-his-orders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:a0758cab-bc67-422c-aa27-31e842f54a35Post:b94dab22-f4e0-4a09-b5bf-fed46d4f5c05">Re: He got his orders...</a>:
    [QUOTE]~firsttimersluck~ That Chevy Limo is priceless!! Socializing exercise is a great way to word the situation. AND probably the best thing for my son. Realizing now it might benefit him to move around... prepare him for the real world and get him out of the small town bubble. hmmmm.  You all have already helped ease my mind! THANKS!! As for wedding date. It must change. It will have to be moved up by at least a month or two. Yikes! and I thought 7 months wasn't long enough already.
    Posted by dissipativesoul[/QUOTE]

    Tell us about your wedding!
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    UM DITT HIKE!  Let's hear about your wedding planning. :) haha 6 months is plenty of time. Promise :) We found all of our vendors at the 8 month mark and did all the basics like the wedding attire and whatnot.. so we didn't do a THING for like.. 3 months. and I haven't felt rushed for a minute. In fact, call me crazy, but with the wedding a month away, I'm leaving this morning for a 2 week vaca :P

    I'm very for moving kids around and pulling them out of their comfort zone... of course I have lived in more than 28 house and been to 14 different schools so.. I MIGHT be a little biased ... ;)
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  • YoungDuoYoungDuo member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My FI is at Ft Bragg and I'll be moving down there in November :) It's not the most lively area but you're 45 min from South Raleigh, about an hour from Greensboro (shopping), 1 1/2 hours from Winston-Salem (more shopping/plus I'm a local there :) ) and 2 hours from the beach. So you're in a central location..plus you know me (sort of) and I'll be there  :)
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  • YoungDuoYoungDuo member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh and if you snowboard/ski or enjoy hiking and the mountains..that can easily be a weekend trip to the Western part of NC and it's beautiful!
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  • dissipativesouldissipativesoul
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well......

    Colors! I'm a very colorful person. Cool 
    My everyday style is like a teenager raised by Cyndi Lauper and Courtney Love with some Rockabilly love! LOL

    The venue is an old building that hosts bluegrass jams weekly. So it has a rustic antique look with pews diagonal from aisle to stage. I'm planning for the aisle to be lined with glass vases of all colors and sizes that will be glowing with LED lights (or maybe glow sticks?) Fabric draping from ceiling at the stage area. Colored glowing lanterns hanging from the ceiling. Original color scheme is peacock. Bright blues, greens with a bit of purple and or yellow.... but it's looking like a rainbow might be incorporated! lol

    My dress is champagne colored and strapless with a high low hem. I'll have a black bolero and a bright blue and green petticoat. My veil!! SO excited to see it. It's custom made on Etsy. Peacock feathers and a black birdcage veil. Laughing Note that I have a full color Right sleeved out arm with Elaborate Salvador Dali inspired Alice in Wonderland tatoo.

    He wants to wear a Zoot suit.. black with royal blue vest and hat. 
    My bridesmaids will wear a black multi way dress from Victoria Secret and colored shoes and accessories.

    I have so many ideas!
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  • dissipativesouldissipativesoul
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I started planning a month ago. It consumes me like a virus given that I'm in love with arts and crafts. Cool He thought I was crazy for starting so early with DIY projects, but now look who's gonna be prepared!

    ~YoungDuo~ So it's a beautiful place then?? Reading about the location on the web it sounds HUGE... Take note that I'm born and raised in a small town in Texas.

    ~firsttimersluck~ I lived in the same house for 18 years before I ran away to Austin after high school. That adventure didn't last long. lol.

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  • YoungDuoYoungDuo member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Fayetteville/Ft Bragg..not so much being beautiful, IMO, it's not ugly though. It's a military town, and it's a HUGE base!  The area is definitely growing up though so it's not terrible. The mountains of NC are where the beauty is. In NC, you will get all the seasons even though at Bragg, they don't really get much snow. I went to Appalachian State in Boone, NC and we got a lot of snow. NC has so much to do and being in the center at Bragg, you're pretty much a day trip away from just about anywhere.

    Just remember, if you like beach, you're 2 hours away roughly. If you like mountains, you're roughly 4 hours away from Boone, 6-7 from Asheville. As much as I can't wait to start living in different places because I've lived in NC all my life, I have to say, NC does have an array of stuff to do which makes it a pretty fun place to live.
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  • SarahP787SarahP787
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Fayetteville is not a pretty city - but it's big! Lots of strip malls, chain restaurants, that kind of thing. The vast majority of people there are either AD Army, retired, spouses, parents... somehow related to the Army. But, on the plus side for your son, the base is HUGE so I'm sure he'll be able to get any kind of services he needs!

    I know my Fi's XO has a son with some kind of special needs, though I'm not sure if it's autism. If you want, I can ask Fi to ask what their experience has been like, but I can't promise that Fi will actually get around to asking. He's not close with this guy so I'm not sure if he'd want to ask a personal question like that.
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I've been in NC for most of my life!! It's great!! You can PM me if you have any specific questions.  I'm in the Piedmont/Triad area like YoungDuo and she gave you some GREAT tips and stuff!! You'll like it!!
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  • dissipativesouldissipativesoul
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm looking forward to it now. New page in the book of life. Talked with my son... although he is sad he will leave his friends and family he thought it was cool that there was a beach within driving distance. lol

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