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Moms and Maids

Shower Dilemma

I hope someone can help me out!  It has come to that time for my wedding shower to be plannned, and I have ran across a couple sticky situations.  My parents are paying for my whole wedding, which they have always told me they would do since I was a little girl. My family, however, is quite small so the majority of the guests are from my Fiance's Moms, Dads, Step-Moms, and Step-Dad's side.  Just recently, my family and I were out to dinner with my in-laws and my fiance.  My FMIL was adament on planning a joint shower, and throwing out ideas here and there.  The thing is, I don't think she intends on paying anything. My parents, however have told me that if she doesn't chip in for her side, then we might have to do our own shower.  My parents feel like they have payed enough for my fiance's side, since they are paying for all their guests to come to the wedding. How do I go about asking my FMIL about paying for her shower guests.  I think the best way is to have my fiance ask her if she plans on contributing to pay for her guests.  Even if she does pay for her own guests, and her side comes, my fiance's other sides will be pissed that they weren't invited.  My parents can't pay for everything, so no matter what I do someone will be mad at me.  I think it would just be best to have separate showers.  I think telling this to my FMIL will make her upset, but I think it will make things easier. 

Re: Shower Dilemma

  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Shower Dilemma:
    [QUOTE]I hope someone can help me out!  It has come to that time for my wedding shower to be plannned, and I have ran across a couple sticky situations.  My parents are paying for my whole wedding, which they have always told me they would do since I was a little girl. My family, however, is quite small so the majority of the guests are from my Fiance's Moms, Dads, Step-Moms, and Step-Dad's side.  Just recently, my family and I were out to dinner with my in-laws and my fiance.  My FMIL was adament on planning a joint shower, and throwing out ideas here and there.  The thing is, I don't think she intends on paying anything. My parents, however have told me that if she doesn't chip in for her side, then we might have to do our own shower.  My parents feel like they have payed enough for my fiance's side, since they are paying for all their guests to come to the wedding. How do I go about asking my FMIL about paying for her shower guests.  I think the best way is to have my fiance ask her if she plans on contributing to pay for her guests.  Even if she does pay for her own guests, and her side comes, my fiance's other sides will be pissed that they weren't invited.  My parents can't pay for everything, so no matter what I do someone will be mad at me.  I think it would just be best to have separate showers.  I think telling this to my FMIL will make her upset, but I think it will make things easier. 
    Posted by Laura3086[/QUOTE]

    I'd stay out of this one!

    Your FMIL may throw a shower for you but she can't dictate that your parents pay for any part of it.

    Your side of the family may also throw a shower for you but they can't dictate that anyone else has to pay.

    Shower Host(s) may also be your bridal party, an aunt, your BFF, but no one is obligated to  contribute unless they choose.

    Got it?
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    bottom line, I posted too soon, is that your FMIL is out of line expecting financing for a shower she intends to give.

    hth
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You shouldn't get involved with discussing the buget for your shower.

    If your mom wants to cohost a shower with your fmil, she should ask her what her budget is, before any plans are made. Then she will know for sure whether the MOG is planning to contribute.





                       
  • edited December 2011
    Your mom and FMIL should work this out amongst themselves.  You need to stay out of it, and neither of them should put you in the middle.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    lol Wow.....Thank you!  I had no friggen idea that showers weren't until 3 months away from the wedding.  If you hadn't of told me, I think I would've been totally lost so thank you!!!  I hope you can pick up the sarcasism because I'm laying it on pretty thick.  Honestly you were married awhile ago!  Get off Theknot.com and go onto Thenest.com or something.  Your posts are extremely rude!  I mean look at the number of posts you have done.  Someone clearly loves to hear themselves talk!  Get a life! 
  • KnibletKniblet member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]lol Wow.....Thank you!  I had no friggen idea that showers weren't until 3 months away from the wedding.  If you hadn't of told me, I think I would've been totally lost so thank you!!!  I hope you can pick up the sarcasism because I'm laying it on pretty thick.  Honestly you were married awhile ago!  Get off Theknot.com and go onto Thenest.com or something.  Your posts are extremely rude!  I mean look at the number of posts you have done.  Someone clearly loves to hear themselves talk!  Get a life! 
    Posted by Laura3086[/QUOTE]
    Absolutely not necessary.
    vacation vacation vacation vacation
    It's almost here! Weeeeeeee!
    image
    my read shelf:
    Jaime's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    43/70 books read

    Back in June 2010...
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