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Favors

Donation to a Charity in Leui of favors?

I saw somewhere on a wedding website that someone did this.   I was thinking it would be really cool to give a card with a list (2-4) charities on it that I would donate money to instead of getting wedding favors.  What are your opinions?  Do you think it's lame or a neat idea? 


Re: Donation to a Charity in Leui of favors?

  • edited December 2011
    Ps. I think i misspelled leui... 
  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    There's a sticky post right at the top (at the moment it's right above your thread) on this board.  Read it and it may answer your question.
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  • howar038howar038 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think its pretty cool!
  • edited December 2011
    Also, this is hardly the first time this question has been posted and about 90% of the ladies here side whole heartedly with Trix's opinion in the sticky.  If giving something from your wedding to charity means that much to you, you and your FI can make your gifts to eachother charity donations. 
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  • mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I echo GoodLuck's thoughts.  The whole point of favors is a little gift for coming to the wedding.  You wouldn't give someone the birthday gift of a donation to YOUR favorite charity, so don't do it for your wedding.  Give up a part of the wedding that's meant for you - flowers, etc. - instead of the thing that is meant for your guetss. 

    And as we always say, go ahead and make your donation.  Just don't do it as a favor to your guests and don't relate it to your wedding. 
  • edited December 2011
     I've tried doing a search for previous posts before I posted mine, and could not come up with anything.  So, I am sorry for repeating an "old" topic.  Maybe I didn't search the right phrase.

    I just thought it would be a better idea of a favor/money spent since 90% of the time people forget or throw away their wedding favors.  Of all the weddings I've been too, I've only kept favors from 1 and that was because it was chapstick.


    I appreciate the thoughts and opinions and will take them into consideration, however, as that was the reason I posted.
  • edited December 2011
    And I completely did not even see that sticky post! How embarassing!
  • edited December 2011
    Food or small things that are useful (such as the chap stick you mentioned) goes over well with everyone.  That way it won't be thrown away or wasted.  People are always down for a sweet treat, especially if it's compliments of someone else! 
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  • kristinanddankristinanddan member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Here's my take:

    You have a charity you love? Awesome, I hope you make regular donations to it. If you don't have a charity that you regularly support, I totally don't get the point of a donation favor.

    Anyway, I think making a donation in lieu of favors is lame. Why not a donation in lieu of that awesome photographer or viennese hour? I don't think you should be telling your guests what you aren't giving them.
    Also, there are a number of charities that can be suprisingly controversial - often for the way they are run.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-charity-leui-of-favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:90531134-9ceb-4421-ab8e-bb5b708d8efePost:3139bed3-7bf7-44d3-a65f-0014b089c180">Re: Donation to a Charity in Leui of favors?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here's my take: You have a charity you love? Awesome, I hope you make regular donations to it. If you don't have a charity that you regularly support, I totally don't get the point of a donation favor. Anyway, I think making a donation in lieu of favors is lame. Why not a donation in lieu of that awesome photographer or viennese hour? I don't think you should be telling your guests what you aren't giving them. <strong>Also, there are a number of charities that can be suprisingly controversial - often for the way they are run.
    </strong>Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]

    This is why I absolutely refuse to have anything to do with Susan G. Komen.
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  • jesa262jesa262 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think charitable donations are a great idea, i hate wedding favors. they are cheesy and cheap and end up in the trash anyway. Do what YOU want, don't listen to all these people on here that don't like it (they wont be at your wedding!).. the day is about you and your new husband and celebrating your marriage!! If people are so concerned with $1 favor then they shouldn't be there. Don't forget what that day is really about.. Its not about the flowers, the DJ, the food, the favors, its about you and him.. 

    P.S. My fiance and I are also doing charitable donations.
  • edited December 2011
    Every time I hear "a donation has been made in your name," it reminds me of George Costanza and the Human Fund.

    I realize this is not helpful advice.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-charity-leui-of-favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:90531134-9ceb-4421-ab8e-bb5b708d8efePost:88a47a8e-00bf-4268-9a57-3ce2dd092ed7">Re: Donation to a Charity in Leui of favors?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think charitable donations are a great idea, i hate wedding favors. they are cheesy and cheap and end up in the trash anyway. Do what YOU want, don't listen to all these people on here that don't like it (they wont be at your wedding!).. the day is about you and your new husband and celebrating your marriage!!<strong> If people are so concerned with $1 favor then they shouldn't be there.</strong> Don't forget what that day is really about.. Its not about the flowers, the DJ, the food, the favors, its about you and him.. <strong> P.S. My fiance and I are also doing charitable donations.</strong>
    Posted by jesa262[/QUOTE]

    #1)  Did you even read the part on the sticky that said "I don't need favors.  I don't want favors."  I won't be offended if I don't get a favor.  But telling me that you're giving something to someone else is NOT a favor to ME.  That's all we're saying here.

    #2)  Was I surprised at your P.S.?  Of course not.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • jesa262jesa262 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    #1) first of all... what is the sticky?

    #2) I didn't think you would be surprised.

    #3) we are donating to a cause for a disease that has affected NUMEROUS people in our family... you are telling me that our guests will be pissed about that and rather we did nothing at all??? we aren't giving a "something to someone else" we are donating to help the cause for our family members who are very sick.

    I'm simply voicing my opinion just like you all did.. there is no reason to get nasty. you just need to get a life.. this whole issue is so small in terms of the whole wedding that this discussion is so pointless.. 

    and yeah your wedding was in 2009?? 14,000 posts?? find a new hobby!! the only reason i felt the need to respond to this post was b/c you were all being so rude to the poor girl who was simply asking a question... no need for the nastiness.
  • jesa262jesa262 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    why is your wedding date 2014?? I think you are on here just like that trix person... to be mean to brides. what's up with the berinstein bear and the carebear pictures?? 

    why does it matter if this discussion has been brought up before? The girl posted a question.. get over it. 
  • jesa262jesa262 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    sorry, that last post was for goodluckbear
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-charity-leui-of-favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:90531134-9ceb-4421-ab8e-bb5b708d8efePost:936dffb9-8679-4ce0-b94a-90de48671929">Re: Donation to a Charity in Leui of favors?</a>:
    [QUOTE]#1) first of all... what is the sticky? #2) I didn't think you would be surprised. #3) we are donating to a cause for a disease that has affected NUMEROUS people in our family... you are telling me that our guests will be pissed about that and rather we did nothing at all??? we aren't giving a "something to someone else" we are donating to help the cause for our family members who are very sick. I'm simply voicing my opinion just like you all did.. there is no reason to get nasty. you just need to get a life.. this whole issue is so small in terms of the whole wedding that this discussion is so pointless..  and yeah your wedding was in 2009?? 14,000 posts?? find a new hobby!! the only reason i felt the need to respond to this post was b/c you were all being so rude to the poor girl who was simply asking a question... no need for the nastiness.
    Posted by jesa262[/QUOTE]
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-charity-leui-of-favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:90531134-9ceb-4421-ab8e-bb5b708d8efePost:1beafe8b-e3ad-4ff5-b384-367f6fe1c2b1">Re: Donation to a Charity in Leui of favors?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>why is your wedding date 2014??</strong>I think you are on here just like that trix person... to be mean to brides. what's up with the berinstein bear and the carebear pictures??  why does it matter if this discussion has been brought up before? The girl posted a question.. get over it. 
    Posted by jesa262[/QUOTE]

    Because that's when I'm getting married.  As to your comment about Trix, she got married a few decades ago.  She joined TK when her daughter got married and she was a MOB.  Many regulars like having Trix around and she has the Berenstein bear avatar because the old WP regs used to refer to her as their denmother.  I loved Carebears when I was a kid and I though it would be a cute screen name.  Just out of curiosity, what time frame should brides be allowed on here?  I'm really curious.  Also, please show me where Trix and I were mean in this post.  Honesty and not agreeing with you =/= mean.
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  • jesa262jesa262 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    you are entitled to your opinions and i'm entitled to mine... but making someone feel horrible for asking a question even though there have been others that asked the same before is just rude. and Denmother?? thats funny... she is nasty i'm sorry. i posted my opinion on here just like everyone else and just because she didn't agree with it she needs to come back and pull my post apart?? i don't care if you don't agree with my choice to use charitable donations, its my wedding and I'm going to do whatever I want anyway, but to make someone feel like its absurd to do that? I don't agree.. you can state your reasons why you don't agree with it but you don't need to push your ideas on other people. 
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Jesa:  I don't think that anyone here was rude to the OP.  They gave her another way to look at the idea of charity donation favors.  Here's the difference:

    Question: I'm thinking of doing donations to a charity instead of giving guests a favor.  What do you think?

    RUDE:  I think you're brains are in your butt.  That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard and I've heard plenty.  You are a sorry excuse for a human being if you think that making a donation to charity instead of giving your guests m&ms is a good idea.  I'll bet your FI is a moron too.

    NOT RUDE:  Favors are typically a small gesture given to your guests as a thank you (in addition to the dinner and drinks that they're getting!).  It's not appropriate to tell guests what they're NOT getting.  It also doesn't make sense to tell your guests that you've taken the money you'd use to buy them a little something, and given it to someone else, and expect them to not scratch their heads and say "HUH?"

    Actually, the only person on this thread who was unbearably (little pun there from Mama Bear) rude was......you.

    As for this part:  I don't agree.. you can state your reasons why you don't agree with it but you don't need to push your ideas on other people.
    I'm quite sure that's what I did:  stated my reasons for disagreeing with it.  As for pushing your ideas on other people:  Pot,  meet Kettle.

    But a heartfelt good luck to you in your planning.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    They were just saying that you making a gift to a charity is not a gift to other people.

    Please calm yourself.
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    A wedding favor is something that you give your guests to thank them for coming. If you don't want to spend the money on that, then don't. Favors are not required and if you'd rather give $100 to a charity, then do so without broadcasting it. However, it isn't good etiquette to tell people that instead of giving them a gift, you've earmarked that money for something else, something that they may not even agree with. The point isn't that favors are cheap or stupid or worthless. The point is that charity donation doesn't equal gift to guest. People can call names all they want, but that's the bottom line.
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  • edited December 2011
    Weddings today don't always follow etiquette anymore.  Some actions are more rude than others.  It depends on if you know the people your inviting, and how they would react to your gesture that they know would mean alot to the bride and groom, considering it is the bride and grooms day. 

    As for Jesa's reasoning for donations, this proves a point.  It depends on the guests, and what they know about the bride and groom.  Her donation hits home. 

    Although I do respect the opinions, as it was why I posted in the first place, everyone who considers it lame/rude/poor ettiqute, and you regularly post those same opinions to others (granted, they are asking for your help), you also should keep in mind that times change, people live different lives, and have their reasonings for choosing to do something.  If it is REALLY poor etiquette, such as having your bridal shower guest write their own thank you notes, then of course, you need to speak up to help that bride not make herself look like a idiot.   But if it's something in this manner, your opinion is good, but you don't have to use the terms of "lame" and "you arent doing me a favor by giving to charity".   

    I'm not doing anyone a "favor" by giving them a little gift they will throw away.  A wedding favor isnt a "favor" to anyone, but a simple gift.  

  • auramarieauramarie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    these message boards need to have like buttons. 


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