After many hours of ruminating, my fiance and I came up with a great way to include his eleven year old cousin in our ceremony without forcing me to have her as a junior bridesmaid. We are going to have her as part of the processional where she will enter right after the mothers and grandmothers. She is going to carry one rose for each of the the grandparents/family members who are no longer with us. When she gets to the altar she is going to put them in a vase off to the side but still visible.
Family is very important to us and we were trying to figure out a way to represent those who had passed in a sentimental but not sad way in the ceremony. Since she's not a flower girl (that's a baby's job) and she's not a bridesmaid (all of my maids are a major part of my life but independent from and in conjunction with my fiance), this was the perfect way for us to make sure she felt included and neither of us feels like we're caving in to the pressure from family to do things we don't want to.