Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla?

megannie · January 2013

Hi Ladies.

I am having a problem with a family member who is in our wedding. They live out of state.

The dilemma. We had a suit chosen to rent for our wedding. We were recently notified that this suit has been discontinued, and will not be available. The new choices will possibly be more expensive. My fiance' asked if we could go shopping, and see if we could purchase a suit for a similar cost, before we commit to renting.

We went to men's wearhouse, where we were told, to our surprise, that it could be an issue to find a suit to fit all of our groomsmen. They asked us to get sizes from the guys, and bring them back so they could determine what was available. So, we asked the guys to send us sizes, and/or get measured.

The wife of a married couple who are in the wedding, and live out of state contacted me and wanted to know why we needed the information. I explained the situation. She responded, asking which suit we had chosen, and that they would go look at it. I again, explained that we hadn't chosen, and couldn't until we had the sizes of all the guys.

She then wanted to know why we couldn't go to a discount tux shop, so that they could go to one by their home and get it. I asked if there was a men's wearhouse nearby, and when she said yes, I asked if she could please stop by there with her husband and get a measuresment.

Again, I got a why? And that she thought that men's wearhouse carried every suit in every size. No, they don't. And then, she wanted to know if we had told the bridal shop that we weren't getting tuxes there. Again, no, because we may still end up needing to rent if we can't find something in the appropriate price range. We have short guys, heavy guys, tall skinny guys, and a few who workout regularly and are very muscular. Lots of different sizes to fit.

Anyway. I explained that we wouldn't know what was even available until we had all the sizes. Then, and only then, could we determine if there was something suitable. (We were just hoping that the guys could put their money toward a purchase instead of a rental).

So, today I get a response from her husband.

Hi. We are perfectly ok with renting a tux. People do it all the time. There are many budget tuxedo rental places that are much cheaper than what you may be paying, if you are concerned about price. I am approximately a size ...jacket, and ... pant, however, depending on the suit, this may or may not fit.

I asked him if he would please go to MW and get measured, and his reply was...."As soon as you decide FOR SURE that this is where you are going, yes. We would prefer not to do so until you know what you are doing in case you change your mind.

I again told them that we couldn't pick anything until we had sizing, and he said to just use the approximate size, and let them know what we decided.

I need to know, ladies. Is it really too much to ask him to go get measured? I didn't think that we were imposing by asking, but am just amazed by the response we got. I don't consider myself a bridezilla, and the other guys were very happy with the fact that we are trying to get the best price, and hopefully, for something they can own, instead of just pay for and return.

And yes, we asked them for their budget, and are determined to stick to it.

Thoughts?

mlg78 · January 2013

I don't blame them for wanting you to make a decision before going to get things taken care of. I'd be annoyed having to go to multiple places as well. Is this guy an unusual size or something? If he's anything close to average then you'd have nothing to worry about. In the future, have your fiance deal with him because then the wife won't likely be involved.

mary35699 · January 2013

I think you are being very reasonable, you have shown way more patience then I would be capable of. I have no patience and I am very much a type A personality so if this was me after the first response to wifey dear I would would have told them sorry don't need the stress see you such a day if you still want to attend as a guest.

libby2483 · January 2013

I don't think you are being a bridezilla, but I find it very odd that Men's Warehouse would need to know the exact measurements of all of the GMs before telling you if a suit is available or not. I did not go through MW for my wedding, though, so perhaps this is typical for them. We did look at both suits and tuxes for purchase and rental at other shops and were not asked to provide exact measurements to determine availability.

That being said, I also find it a little odd that your GM (and his wife) are so resistant to providing you with measurements. Measurements don't have to be taken at the store you decide to rent or purchase suits/tuxes from. We used a local chain that did not have locations where some of the GMs lived, so they just got measured at their local shop and sent the measurements to the local chain on a form we had provided them with. So, this GM will eventually have to get his measurements done somewhere, and it doesn't really matter where, so I'm not sure why he is so resistant. Just sounds like an odd situation all around.

mary35699 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-measurements-for-guys-suitsbridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:edd8793d-d66a-4b33-9ee8-8311d3449f58Post:a9a313dc-fdd8-4e1c-8cc3-42246bb61041">Re: Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't blame them for wanting you to make a decision before going to get things taken care of. I'd be annoyed having to go to multiple places as well. Is this guy an unusual size or something? If he's anything close to average then you'd have nothing to worry about. In the future, have your fiance deal with him because then the wife won't likely be involved.
Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]

<div>She first asked "<span style="background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;">the guys to send us sizes, and/or get measured." that's when they started coming back with the whys and how comes. She did not say hey everyone please run (don't walk. Run) to such a place to get measured and report back ASAP. If they had first responded with normally I'm a 32 waist with 40 inseam and 16 shirt (I don't know if measurement would be the same where you are) then I think that would have been fine. But they responded multiple time with why and how come then gave a wishy wash normally/could be/don't know answer. </span></div>

emenz47 · January 2013

I think the gm is being ridiculous. There is no need to be so resistant! You are in no way a bridezilla for asking.

freebread03 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-measurements-for-guys-suitsbridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:edd8793d-d66a-4b33-9ee8-8311d3449f58Post:1a3e808e-ef6f-4f30-8b65-173e3bb24cb2">Re: Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla? : She first asked " the guys to send us sizes, and/or get measured." that's when they started coming back with the whys and how comes. She did not say hey everyone please run (don't walk. Run) to such a place to get measured and report back ASAP. If they had first responded with normally I'm a 32 waist with 40 inseam and 16 shirt (I don't know if measurement would be the same where you are) then I think that would have been fine. But they responded multiple time with why and how come then gave a wishy wash normally/could be/don't know answer.
Posted by mary35699[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well of course they did--I'd want to know why too if she hadn't picked a suit yet. Personally, if someone had asked me to go to a specific store to get measured, when they hadn't even picked suit or tux, I'd be pretty irritated since it would require me to make an extra trip, drive (when I don't normally drive during the week), or fight traffic on the weekend, all to potentially have to do it AGAIN if she picks a different place. It sounds like the OP's GM DID respond with an approximate size that he measured at home, so I don't know what you're taking about.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, you got an approximate size, that should be sufficient for determining if a suit comes in his size. It's silly that you want him to get measured when you haven't even determined if it's the suit you want. If it comes in everyone's sizes, will this be the suit you choose? If so, you should communicate THAT as it makes you seem less undecided. Also, why are you asking the GM's wife for his size? Shouldn't your FI be asking HIS friend for HIS size?

</div>

QueerFemme · January 2013

I think they are being a little resistant, but honestly, I probably wouldn't go get measured until you had selected a location either. You have the appox measurements. That should be more than enough unless he is on the cusp of being in their largest size.

Kate61487 · January 2013

Is it possible the guy is sensative about his size? I know it's less common for a guy, but if a friend texted me asking my size I'd be a little hesitant to lay it out there.

Since it seems he didn't have an issue eventually giving you an approximate size I do think it's odd and a little irritating, all of the "why?" and "how come" texts. I can sort of understand why you still want him to get measured since the response he did give you was so wishy washy, but are you really concerned that this guy will be a limiting factor on the suit? is he significantly taller, shorter, thinner, or heavier than the other guys?

All that said: we rented from Mens Warehouse, and they made no comment what-so-ever about any size limitations. They didn't ask us if we had anyone of any exceptional size, even after we'd picked the tux and put deposits down for everyone. While I'm sure there are unique situations like PPs very thin friend the only situation I can imagine as to why they'd need EXACT sizes for everyone would be because they want to see what's in stock, not that the suit wasn't made in that size; and that would only be an issue if you're picking a discontinued suit.

jessicabessica · January 2013

I agree it's annoying that they keep going back and forth about this, but I don't see what the problem is. They gave you his approximate size. At this point you are seeing what is available, not getting exact measurements so things can be ordered. Why isn't this enough information for now?

Also, it's possible his wait is fluctuating and he wants to wait a bit before giving exact measurements.

RamonaFlowers · January 2013

Honestly, if it's this much of a concern as to whether or not the suit/tux you pick will be available in every possible size, just pick one in everyone's budget that isn't being discontinued.

I dealt with MW for my wedding. We picked tuxes 2 months out, everybody got measured around 4 weeks before the wedding, and everything went fine. Your wedding is in June and you're not even 100% sure you're definitely going with MW, so why are you pressing the issue?

Frankly, if DH was your GM and we were getting multiple texts from you about getting him measured 5 months out for a tux that he might not even end up wearing at a place you might not even end up using, I'd be pretty irked with you.

jenferian · January 2013

We just went to MH. My brother (groomsman) is 6'5 and my groom's brother/Best Man is 5'7 and there was never any concern.

With that said, honestly, it would be annoying to have to go in twice for measurements. It's enough to drag a guy in once, let alone 2x. I think the general sentiment from guys is, "tell me where to go and when" and omit unnecessary details and superfluous trips.

Pick it and they will rent it. Done and done.

RWolff · January 2013

I don't think this is normal...if you asked for budget and size so that you could make the decision, that would be enough for me. After all, you wouldn't let yourself fall in love with a BM dress that only comes in size 0-10 if one of your BMs is a 12.

That being said, is thais particular GM very tall, very heavy, or otherwise at an extreme? I know you said you had a mix of body types, but unless you need to pick a suit that comes in extra long or wide, I also don't understand why MW is being a pain in your butt.

Long story short, if he won't give measurements, pick a suit that fits the sizes that have been provided. If this GM can't fit in it for some reason, then FI explains that you did your best, but without his exact size you were unable to accomodate him. Then he has the honor of being a guest.

megannie · January 2013

To clarify ladies.....we are not looking to rent a suit or tux, but to buy one, and the salesman at men's wear house told us he couldn't show us anything until he knew the sizes of all the guys to see what was available that would fit all of them. Clearly, if we were renting, it wouldn't be an issue, but we don't know if we can buy either until we see if what's available is in the budget, and they can't tell us what's available without the sizes, according to them. We honestly aren't trying to be a PITA, just trying to get the info we were asked for, which we obviously need BEFORE we can make a decision. Thanks, so much for your input, however. I appreciate your thoughts and comments,

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-measurements-for-guys-suitsbridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:edd8793d-d66a-4b33-9ee8-8311d3449f58Post:8b71485f-2290-41ed-b569-b7b3b0d6bf00">Re:Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla?</a>:
[QUOTE]To clarify ladies.....we are not looking to rent a suit or tux, but to buy one, and the salesman at men's wear house told us he couldn't show us anything until he knew the sizes of all the guys to see what was available that would fit all of them. Clearly, if we were renting, it wouldn't be an issue, but we don't know if we can buy either until we see if what's available is in the budget, and they can't tell us what's available without the sizes, according to them. We honestly aren't trying to be a PITA, just trying to get the info we were asked for, which we obviously need BEFORE we can make a decision. Thanks, so much for your input, however. I appreciate your thoughts and comments,
Posted by megannie[/QUOTE]

I don't think you are being a PITA at all. You told them the situation and let them know the reason why you needed the measurements (because that is what the store told you). I think they are being hard headed by not going to get measurements done. Seriously they take all of 2 seconds and can be done anywhere, not just MW.

I think you should have your FI call his friend up because this guy is his GM and your FI should be talking to him not you. Have your FI explain the situation, over the phone not through text and to ask him to get measured..

There may have been some miscommunication or some lost-in-translation thing going on because you were having this discussion through texts.

RamonaFlowers · January 2013

In Response to Re:Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla?:[QUOTE]To clarify ladies.....we are not looking to rent a suit or tux, but to buy one, and the salesman at men's wear house told us he couldn't show us anything until he knew the sizes of all the guys to see what was available that would fit all of them. Clearly, if we were renting, it wouldn't be an issue, but we don't know if we can buy either until we see if what's available is in the budget, and they can't tell us what's available without the sizes, according to them. We honestly aren't trying to be a PITA, just trying to get the info we were asked for, which we obviously need BEFORE we can make a decision. Thanks, so much for your input, however. I appreciate your thoughts and comments, Posted by megannie[/QUOTE]

Okay, but that still doesn't explain why you can't just pick something that <strong>isn't</strong> being discontinued, and therefore, won't be an issue for everybody to find. Like I said earlier, if you were texting me to get DH measured for a suit that he might not even end up wearing at a store you might not even end up using, I'd be more than annoyed.

Pick a store that you definitely will be using and a suit that definitely will be available to <strong>rent</strong>, not buy (Like PP, DH and I wouldn't buy a suit that we had zero say in picking out) and drop it already.

hoffse · January 2013

Yeah I'm also sort of against making them buy it. But that's just me. We were originally going to do that, and then FI pointed out that the suit we pick out may not be to everybody's taste, it's ultimately cheaper to rent (even if they do have to return it), and frankly most of their jobs rarely require a suit so it's not like it's a crucial part of their wardrobe. We still wanted the look of suits, so we rented a tux that looks like a suit without the vest from MW. They've gotten measured, and it's fine.

megannie · January 2013

Ok. So if given the choice, you would rather pay the same amount of money to rent something then to own it? Maybe this is where we are making a mistake. I personally would rather pay for something I could take home, then pay the same amount for something I had to return. Also, many of the groomsmen indicated they would rather buy it. I didn't realize this wouldn't be a good thing.

RamonaFlowers · January 2013

In Response to Re:Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla?:[QUOTE]Ok. So if given the choice, you would rather pay the same amount of money to rent something then to own it? Maybe this is where we are making a mistake. I personally would rather pay for something I could take home, then pay the same amount for something I had to return. Also, many of the groomsmen indicated they would rather buy it. I didn't realize this wouldn't be a good thing. Posted by megannie[/QUOTE]

If you were telling them all to just wear a black or gray suit or something, that would be fine, some of them might not even have to go shopping at that point. But forcing them all to buy the exact same suit is ridiculous. If everybody is in the same color suit, nobody's even going to notice whether or not the detailing matches.

And again, if you are going to insist that everybody wear the same exact suit, then pick a suit that's not being discontinued. I don't get why you don't understand that harassing people to get measured at a store you might not even be using for a suit that might not even be available is obnoxious.

hbarry2428 · January 2013

I think you are being very reasonable and I think it is poor manners and such to put up such a fuss. All the wife had to do was pull out a tape and take less thatn 5 minutes to measure the hubby. Honestly I do not know how to measure for a guys tux or suit but would have sent a list of measurements that would help. If I were you I would politely ask them to attend as guests because you do not need the headache. I hope you have a beautiful day!

Heather

Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla?

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