Any ideas for 3 year old girl?

alexlad · March 2010

I am very close to these twins a boy and girl who I was a nanny for full time til they were a year old. I am still very close to them and plan on always being a part of their life. I have asked the boy to be a ringbearer and the girl to be a flower girl along with my niece.

My family through a fit when they found out the girl was going to be a flower girl. They made comments like "__(my niece) doesnt share attention well" and "She is your niece and she deserves the spotlight. She shouldnt have to share."

This escalated until my sister in law(nieces mom) called in tears saying that she "Understood how important__(twin girl) was to me but that my __(niece) was my only niece." She then implyed that I should kick (twin girl) out of the wedding.

The babies are all three 3 years old. I am trying to figure out ideas of what to have the (twin girl) do in the ceremony. I am keeping her in my wedding. I love her and my fiance and I cant imagine her not being a part of my our day.

My present idea is to have her present a single rose to my mother and his mother. But I am searching for other ideas as well.

trix1223 · March 2010

Tell the adults to grow up and stop acting like 3 year olds. Your SIL is being silly.

Call her bluff and tell her that the child you nanny will still be a flower girl. If she wants to take her little snowflake out of the wedding, you'll be disappointed.

The 3 year old won't care. (I teach 3 year olds. I guarantee she won't care.) The only people who care here are the adults. But since they're acting like toddlers, their opinion, iMO, doesn't hold any weight at all.

FWIW: My niece is a nanny, and she had the little guy she's nannied since he was a preemie baby in her wedding. She couldn't imagine her ceremony without him.

And one other piece of advice: you know this little girl. And you know that 3 year olds are unpredicatble at best. It's entirely possible that one or both little girls will refuse to walk down the aisle at the ceremony anyway.

A 3 year old could very well tear the top off the flower, or refuse to give it to your mom. And I just wouldn't see the point anyway. Let her be a cute little flower girl if she'll do it.

alexlad · March 2010

Thanks I have been so torn up trying to figure out what to do. I too have been taking care of her since she came home from the hospital at 3 lbs. We have been through so much together. Not only have I helped raise her as if she were my own, but she has taught me so much about life. And my fiance loves her so much.

I am now again considering have her be a flower girl with my niece who I also love dearly. I definatly realize that they might not corporate at all haha but Its just the idea of them being there.lol.

I am just really hoping that it will not cause issues with my family. I hope my bro and sil can except it. They are still not happy that she is still in the wedding.(however they dont care that the boy is in it??)

i have suggested to sil that (twin girl) could walk before bridesmaids and niece could walk before me? She did not jump on the idea.Do you think this is tacky? I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. especially since they might not do it in the first place.

trix1223 · March 2010

Nope, I'd just have them walk down together. If your SIL can't get past it, her DD's out. Your sister DOES understand that the wedding is NOT about the FG right? Because she's acting like her daughter is the main player here. Wow.

crakd · March 2010

can the twins walk in together? they might even prefer it. he could carry the ring pillow, and she could carry a pomander or bouquet of some sort. then you niece could be the official flower girl with the tossing petals and all that jazz.

or, as stated above, everyone could get over themselves and you could do what you want.

cukimerrydoll · March 2010

I agree with PPs.

I also like it more when there are more than one flower girl. I was the neice/flower girl for almost all of my parent's siblings weddings with my sister (JBs for others, which was basically the same thing). Especially at the weddings where I was 6 and under, there is no way I would have been able to do it alone.

LesPaul · March 2010

How about 'guest', along with their parents?

quotequeen · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ideas-3-year-old-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:42acdf16-e8df-4963-8b4d-df91647b4990Post:fcc5fe63-3390-4836-87b7-a0085f044980">Re: Any ideas for 3 year old girl?</a>:
[QUOTE]can the twins walk in together? they might even prefer it. he could carry the ring pillow, and she could carry a pomander or bouquet of some sort. then you niece could be the official flower girl with the tossing petals and all that jazz. or, as stated above, everyone could get over themselves and you could do what you want. ;)
Posted by crakd[/QUOTE]

I agree with this, if you would like it. If not, tell your family they are being ridiculous.

nhelene · March 2010

You've got plenty of options without having to 'demote' one of your flower girls. Having the twins walk in together would be adorable. Also adorable would be twin boy walking in with 'a girl on each arm'.

But I think it's best that your neice learns to 'share the attention' early, before she turns out like her mother.

alexlad · March 2010

I love all of the input ladies. If I do decide to have her carry a pomander what should I call her in the program or on the website etc?? I really think I am going to go about having niece and twin girl together and if sil ask, then I will just shrug and say it is what fi and I decided. This was my fi's opinion. I am trying to keep twins separate because I want them to be individuals for later reference at wedding pics etc. Even at their age they are already jealous of my time with each of them and seek independence

However I think twins together are adorable so its definitely an option. I am glad you have given me the courage to stand up to sil because I am really afraid of the consequences. I would also like my niece to be raised knowing that she is not the center of attention all the time because it is what is best for her.

kathjack95 · March 2010

They should both be listed as Flower Girls in the programs and on the website. Your FI is right - let SIL either suck it up and accept that this is your wedding and your decision, or she can disappoint her daughter and pull her out of the wedding. Any "consequences" would be on her, not you, if she did that.

felkels · March 2010

when I was somewhere between 3-5 I was in my aunt's wedding as one of two flower girls...I have to admit, as her only niece, I was a bit jealous. Years later I saw pictures of this other girl up at my aunt's house, and got even more jealous because she had been a part of this girl's life and not mine...but we were not that close.
What about having two ring bearers? the little girl could bring down your husband's ring, and the little boy could bring down yours? I have seen that idea mentioned before and as someone above mentioned, she might be more comfortable walking down with her brother anyway. If it causes less conflict, and you can get pictures of the twins togheter, that is personally what I would do. good luck!

Any ideas for 3 year old girl?

Re: Any ideas for 3 year old girl?

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