Deposit a gift thoughts?

theholograms · February 2012

We are going to have a traditional registry, but I know that a lot of our guests are going to be giving us checks the day of. Since me and my fiance are paying for a significant portion if the wedding having this would definitely help us out before the wedding, but is it tacky?

amymaysa · February 2012

I personally find that very tacky. Pay for the wedding you can afford. yes, people will give you cash or checks, everyone knows cash is a great gift. Just don't depend on it for the wedding.

Whtara10 · February 2012

Yes we are paying for most of the wedding ourselves too so I know how helpful it could be. But I do think it would be pretty rude. But people also say the same about a honeymoon registry and I'm doing that. So I say it's your wedding an do it how you want!

MoonlightSilver · February 2012

I would never do that. It's not nice to ask people directly for money. Just have a small registry and let your family spread the word that you're saving for X. Then plan the wedding you can afford. If you get cash gifts, great. If not, you didn't go into debt.

cgbabe229 · February 2012

Agree with PP. I think that it's extremely tacky to say to people "hey, just give me money because I don't really care about anything that you actually put time and effort into. I just want your money." I've never been invited to a weddiing that did this, but personally, if I was, I would be kind of offended. Ultimately, it's up to you, but I would say nay on this one.

annakrensky · February 2012

I don't think it's tacky at all - it's really what you make of it. We're using Deposit a Gift and it's worked really well for us. As long as you don't write on your registry: "We need help paying for the wedding so just give us cash here." Write a note describing how excited you are to see everyone, how much their presence means, and how their gifts will go towards experiences and memories. And then add specific gifts to your registry so your friends can give you something meaningful and special. Deposit a Gift had a bunch of prewritten notes and if you use them, it won't be tacky. Everyone has opinions about what's tacky and what's not, but you can't please everyone. When it comes to weddings, there's so much tradition involved that someone is always going to be offended by something, so it's best to do what's best for you - after all, it's your wedding!

cmac3504 · February 2012

I had to google this.... I had heard of Honeyfunds but not Deposit a Fund. I strongly feel that no couple should go into credit card debt to pay for their wedding... Simply be realistic with your budget. Wedding gifts are meant to be used for something that you, as a married couple, could use. Imagine throwing a huge BBQ and telling everyone they have to bring $25pp to help cover the costs of everything. It just doesn't work that way.... So I say stick with the home/honeymoon registries but "live within your means" when it comes to paying for your wedding.

lfreeman24 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_deposit-a-gift-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:812afe32-9d1c-4ffa-8059-2df53766e3b9Post:bc4ae1ad-d6a4-4abb-a141-85cdfb1041d5">Re: Deposit a gift thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally find that very tacky. Pay for the wedding you can afford. yes, people will give you cash or checks, everyone knows cash is a great gift. Just don't depend on it for the wedding.
Posted by amymaysa[/QUOTE]

I agree with this completely. I did also have to look it up as I've never heard of it.

MoonlightSilver · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_deposit-a-gift-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:812afe32-9d1c-4ffa-8059-2df53766e3b9Post:688ffd11-4020-4db7-a3b6-338403661586">Re: Deposit a gift thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think it's tacky at all - it's really what you make of it. We're using Deposit a Gift and it's worked really well for us. As long as you don't write on your registry: "We need help paying for the wedding so just give us cash here." Write a note describing how excited you are to see everyone, how much their presence means, and how their gifts will go towards experiences and memories. <strong>And then add specific gifts to your registry so your friends can give you something meaningful and special</strong>. Deposit a Gift had a bunch of prewritten notes and if you use them, it won't be tacky. Everyone has opinions about what's tacky and what's not, but you can't please everyone. When it comes to weddings, there's so much tradition involved that someone is always going to be offended by something, so it's best to do what's best for you - after all, it's your wedding! <div>Posted by annakrensky[/QUOTE]</div><div>
</div><div>Maybe I don't understand how this works, but if you have a specific gift that's meaningful and special, why don't you just register for that item and let people buy it for you, instead of taking their cash and buying it yourself?

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cdbishop · February 2012

I had never heard of it either. We are paying for a portion of our wedding as well and although it will be nice to get cash as gifts, but we aren't spending more than we now we can afford. I think it is a little bit tacky, but it also depends on your guests.

christikao · February 2012

Agreed with PP, it is very tacky plus the service fee they charge is outrageous.

DiLynn83 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_deposit-a-gift-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:812afe32-9d1c-4ffa-8059-2df53766e3b9Post:688ffd11-4020-4db7-a3b6-338403661586">Re: Deposit a gift thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I don't think it's tacky at all </strong>- it's really what you make of it. We're using Deposit a Gift and it's worked really well for us. As long as you don't write on your registry: "We need help paying for the wedding so just give us cash here." Write a note describing how excited you are to see everyone, how much their presence means, and how their gifts will go towards experiences and memories. And then add specific gifts to your registry so your friends can give you something meaningful and special. Deposit a Gift had a bunch of prewritten notes and if you use them, it won't be tacky. <strong>Everyone has opinions about what's tacky and what's not, but you can't please everyone. When it comes to weddings, there's so much tradition involved that someone is always going to be offended by something, so it's best to do what's best for you - after all, it's your wedding! </strong>
Posted by annakrensky[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>It's not about tradition, it's about etiquette, and etiquette is just a fancy word for plain old manners. It's poor manners to ask for cash, or have a cash registry. That's not a matter of opinion.</div>

theholograms · February 2012

It wasn't something we are doing, I just saw someone do it and was wondering what thoughts are. I definitely don't want our guests to think we just want money out of them. The money would not be going towards the wedding - we are only having a wedding that fits into our budget, nothing more. You can break the registry down into various things like home for example and give an amt that you want to spend on landscaping and people can contribute towards that, some also include honeymoon expenses. It by no means would have anything to do with the wedding costs. But I see what people are saying and thank you for your opinions

samgirl · February 2012

late to the party here, but we used depositagift.com and had a really great experience. it's just like a honeymoon registry (if you're in the camp that likes those) but better because you can register for anything. we did a honeymoon registry, plus big ticket stuff for our home. @moonlightsilver - the reason it makes sense is because there's a lot of stuff that you can't register for in a store, or, that is just too expensive. a lot of it was bigger ticket items (furniture, electronics) and what is cool about deposit a gift is that you can break them down into smaller contribution parts so that people can give what they want. it's essentially the best way to do group gifting so that people don't have to pool their money and someone gets stuck holding the check and collecting. people actually thanked us for making their lives easier (b/c believe it or not, buying us a gift was not the center of their world, so anything to make it simpler was appreciated). you can also make the gift go further if you wait to shop with your gift money when things are on sale. registry items are never on sale.

MoonlightSilver · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_deposit-a-gift-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:812afe32-9d1c-4ffa-8059-2df53766e3b9Post:25969da8-6905-4a4f-ba73-cdbb1ec3026a">Re: Deposit a gift thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]late to the party here, but we used depositagift.com and had a really great experience. it's just like a honeymoon registry (if you're in the camp that likes those) but better because you can register for anything. we did a honeymoon registry, plus big ticket stuff for our home. @moonlightsilver - the reason it makes sense is because there's a lot of stuff that you can't register for in a store, or, that is just too expensive. a lot of it was bigger ticket items (furniture, electronics) and<strong> what is cool about deposit a gift is that you can break them down into smaller contribution parts so that people can give what they want. </strong>it's essentially the best way to do group gifting so that people don't have to pool their money and someone gets stuck holding the check and collecting. people actually thanked us for making their lives easier (b/c believe it or not, buying us a gift was not the center of their world, so anything to make it simpler was appreciated). you can also make the gift go further if you wait to shop with your gift money when things are on sale. registry items are never on sale.
Posted by samgirl[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>But what if you register for a couch, break it into 10 parts, and only get 4? What do you write in the thank you note to those four people? "Oh, thanks so much for trying to help us get a couch, but not enough people signed up so your money is going towards a rug." ??

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