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Multiple Showers: Do All Bridesmaids Attend All Showers?

brittalee4brittalee4
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in Pre-wedding Parties
My Future Hubs' mom's church is throwing us a shower, and it's stressing me out.  It's a VERY sweet gesture but I don't know anyone other than his mom at her church, and he only knows a few people.  Do just my MOHs come to this one, or should I list all of the bridesmaids on the guest list they've requested?  There will be a second shower for friends/people we know, but are BMs supposed to attend ALL showers?

Furthermore, there's a church-wide invite (BIG church.. BIG.) for the entire congregation.  I know if they attend the shower they're supposed to be invited to the wedding but Tiny Venue + Having to Cut Guest Lists Already + Big Church ...  I CAN'T invite them all.  Period, end of story.  So it's stressing me out.  Are thank you cards & maybe wedding announcements afterwards enough?

Thanks in advance! <3
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Re: Multiple Showers: Do All Bridesmaids Attend All Showers?

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_multiple-showers-bridesmaids-attend-showers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:3a2ba318-cc47-4ced-b27f-18e90259ed5cPost:e3a4ade9-4427-4270-9a73-d4998ec3af11">Multiple Showers: Do All Bridesmaids Attend All Showers?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My Future Hubs' mom's church is throwing us a shower, and it's stressing me out.  It's a VERY sweet gesture but I don't know anyone other than his mom at her church, and he only knows a few people.  Do just my MOHs come to this one, or should I list all of the bridesmaids on the guest list they've requested?  There will be a second shower for friends/people we know, but are BMs supposed to attend ALL showers? Furthermore, there's a church-wide invite (BIG church.. BIG.) for the entire congregation.  I know if they attend the shower they're supposed to be invited to the wedding but Tiny Venue + Having to Cut Guest Lists Already + Big Church ...  I CAN'T invite them all.  Period, end of story.  So it's stressing me out.  Are thank you cards & maybe wedding announcements afterwards enough? Thanks in advance! <3
    Posted by brittalee4[/QUOTE]

    1) If it's a church shower, that's generally the exception to the etiquette rule so you should be OK to not have to invite all the people from the church to the wedding.

    2) The bridal party is generally invited to all showers as a courtesy but they don't have to attend all shwoers.
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    quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The church shower is an exception to the rule but it should be SOLELY for people at your church, as I understand it.  So none of your bridal party or even your parents would be invited, just like they wouldn't be to a work shower (unless they attend the church of course).
    Married 10/2/10
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    >>but are BMs supposed to attend ALL showers?

    Yeah.  In my area, all BMs attend all showers, no matter if the BM lives in town or now, and no matter if the shower is in town or not.
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    bekahjane89bekahjane89 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As one who has been a part of hostessing church showers and having attended my fair share... No, church showers are the exception to the invitation rule. Thank you's are plenty -  around here announcements wouldn't even be necessary but I don't know in your case.

    As far as BMs attendance, as the previous poster said, around here every bridesmaid is expected to attend every shower. I've never, ever been to a shower where this wasn't the case (and I'm not kidding when I say I've been to 30+showers) however, if one can't attend I don't think it is the end of the world. However, yes, if they have offered you the chance to make a guest list I would make a small list of names for them. Your bridesmaids and the moms.
    Beka Lou
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    brittalee4brittalee4
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks so much for all your help, everyone!  Y'all are fantastic. :) I feel much better about the chuch shower/no invite thing.  And I'm gonna go ahead and put my mom and bridesmaids on the guest list they requested, and leave it at that. 

    Thanks so much again!  :):):)  Have a wonderful weekend!
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