Community› Wedding Month Club Boards› September 2012 Weddings
September 2012 Weddings
New Discussion

Holy frustration!

jaxdupontjaxdupont
First Comment
in September 2012 Weddings
My fiance and I got engaged in December. We're both still in school, but I'm going to be graduating next weekend. My dad has already confirmed he's giving us a certain amount for the wedding, and we plan on paying for a large chunk ourselves, but my fiance is taking his sweet @#$ time to talk to his parents. I've been asking him for months now to ask if they're planning on helping out. He's an only child, so I don't see why they wouldn't. I'm just on pins and needles because I want to start planning already! I want to start so we can book the church because I need to convert to Catholicism and we need to book the reception venue ASAP because it books quickly. I just so wanting to start planning :(
Report Reply to Post

Re: Holy frustration!

  • SaroyanSaroyan
    First Comment
    To be fair, it is very early to be asking for money. Are there really venues that require you to book two and a half years in advance?
    imageimageimage
    Report Reply
  • kissamarykissamary member
    First Comment
    I'm kind of in the same boat.  Fi's parents are way better off than mine, but they haven't offered anything yet.  They are really generous people, so I found it super surprising.  I don't want to flat out ask them for money, but my parents are putting in A LOT of money, as are FI and I.  We need to book the venue we want before September to get the day we want, so we kinda need to know asap.  I don't want to start planning with a certain budget and then have them pop in 6 months before with some money we didn't plan for... especially if we were cutting things all throughout planning to stay on our perceived budget. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • happe2getherhappe2gether member
    First Comment
    Frustrating I'm sure.  Hang in there! Have you considered going to lunch with his mom or both moms to talk about the wedding? Maybe in a relaxed setting with just the moms, she can talk about it more. 

    FI and I are paying for it since we are much older but FMIL surprised me and said they would pick up the bar tab!!  
    80 said yes image
    Report Reply
  • JessieLea07JessieLea07
    First Comment
    You have PLENTY of time. And don't expect help from anyone. Why would you have to convert religions and book 2 years in advance? That's nuts.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Knottie_22382368Knottie_22382368
    He's an only child, so I don't see why they wouldn't.
    Parents have no responsibility whatsoever for paying for their child's wedding.  If they want to give you a gift, that is great..  Don't ask for it.  Don't push FI to ask.  They may offer as it approaches a year before the wedding.  Until then, do not even look at anything you cannot afford with money you already have.

    Show you are adult enough to marry by saving your money before you spend it.  In a year, when you have been working for a year and have saved money, start making plans with venues and vendors.  Only the priciest ones even accept reservations this early.

    If you want to convert to Catholicism, that can be done now, through any Catholic Church you start to attend.  In the last year before the wedding, you will have Pre-Cana, RC church marriage preparation classes.  So finish your classes for conversion   before then.

    This is a great time to start looking at things, keeping a paper or computer notebook of ideas.

    If you are smart, you will not announce your wedding party until the last 6 to 8 months before your wedding.  And will not book anything for any specific date before 12 to 15 months before your wedding.  It can all be done easily within 5-6 months, so 12 to 15 is more than enough time.

    Right now, the best thing would be to buy a "cookbook" type book on general etiquette, which will include a large section on weddings, or a wedding one.  By cookbook style - they go through all the steps, and all the reasons behind why things are done a certain way. 

    You do not necessarily have to follow all of the guidelines,  but you will get an idea of what to expect from others, and what they expect from you.

    Starting with, it is not considered polite to hit your FI's parents up for money  27 months before your wedding.  Ever.

    A lot of the information supplied online is not correct.  Advertisers sponser writers and sites to promote what they want.  So stores give you registry cards to put in invitations - and the first thought 100 people will have when they see them is,  How incredibly rude that bride is.  Doesn't she have any manners?

       Best is to find out - Emily or Peggy Post, Miss Manners,  someone  not hired by the wedding industry to increase sales.

    This will help you avoid a lot of the problems other brides have.

    It is great that you are excited to be engaged.  But just as no one appreciates a kid bouncing up and down and making out lists for Santa in March, starting things too early creates too many problems.

    Get a book.  Find out about Conversion.  Start an idea notebook.  Look at things.

    Plenty to do now.  Good luck, and take time to enjoy being engaged.  Do romantic things together.  Take a few dance lessons.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards