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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Name change - professional vs. personal?
Anyone here use their maiden name professionally, and their husband's name socially? How did you manage this?
I'm halfway through medical school and am obviously registered at my school under my maiden name. All my official standardized test scores (Step 1) are in my name as well. I'd like to practice under my maiden name if I can, and know several doctors who do this. BUT -- all of them got married during or after their residency, when they were already MDs!
I'm not sure if it would be too complicated to wait until I finish medical school and THEN change my name, so that my MD will be in my maiden name, or if this will just be too complicated and I need to decide once and for all if I'm going to keep or change my name.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any suggestions?
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Re: Name change - professional vs. personal?
[QUOTE]Thanks for the input! Sorry I wasn't entirely clear -- <strong>I was thinking of changing my name legally to his, but using my maiden name profesionally, not keeping my name legally and using his socially.</strong> But I suppose you're right that it's probably not possible to do that and would be much easier the other way around. In general, I'm pretty torn about the whole name change issue, and I want to have my cake and eat it too! Sadly that's usually not possible . . . and I don't think I'll find an ideal solution in this case. But I think you all have very helpful input -- I really appreciate it!
Posted by elplute[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm pretty sure you can't do this. I'm not changing my name, but socially I will be referred to by my married name. Professionally and legally I will still have my maiden name.
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May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations
[QUOTE]Anyone here use their maiden name professionally, and their husband's name socially?
Posted by elplute[/QUOTE]
I use my maiden name professionally and socially go by my husband's name. I didn't change one blessed document, but answer to Dr. MyLastName, Ms. MyLastName and Mrs. HisLastName. They are are all my name but I kept my original name for all legal documents. Just easier!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Name change professional vs. personal?: I'm an MS4 and you definitely can't do this your legal name is what you practice under, it's what your medical license will say. I'm hyphenating maidengroom so my name can be shortened professionally ie be called dr. maiden but sign dr. maidengroom and mrs. Groom for short socially that was the best compromise I could come up with!
Posted by URIbride2013[/QUOTE]
<div>Ohhh, interesting! I haven't heard of this before :) Unfortunately my name and his sound pretty awful together . . . but I do like the idea!</div>
I know that there a million reasons to keep your name or change it. It is a very personal choice to make. Good luck finishing med school!
But like PPs have said if you DO want to practice under your maiden name and socially go by your husband's then the way to do that is to not change anything at all.
For what it's worth I went the First Maiden Married route and dropped my middle name. It eased the transition; as for a while I just used all three names. I changed my name on my professional certification accordingly (I'm still a year from being able to get my final professional license) - I just mailed in a form and a copy of our marriage license.
[QUOTE]I guess I'm having a hard time understanding why you'd even want to do this. I know a lot of women who kept their last names; many for personal reasons - but it sounds like personally you WANT to change your name and it's professionally that you don't. All the women I know who kept their maiden for professional reasons it was because everything (like their MD) was already in their maiden name and/or they had built a career and reputation and didn't want to lose that.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]
My oooooonly hestiation to this line of thinking is the future. I went to graduate school with a good friend who published all under Haley HisLastName. Her whole career was her married name. They got divorced. Now, to continue her career, she has to carry his last name with her even though she's married to someone else now. What a dang mess.
If you work in a profession where last names can't easily be changed, I'm really an advocate for using your maiden name.
[QUOTE]Debating the same questions. I'm an MD PhD and have published a bunch of papers under my current name... On the other hand, I really would like to take my fianc's last name, I love the idea of us being the hisname family.. I'd love to keep mine and add his name without hyphenating and just go by either depending on the setting.... Is that at all possible?? Lynda is that your situation?
Posted by Janka718[/QUOTE]
<div>I found having 2 last names without a hyphen to be on big PITA. There are a ton of computer systems who do not recognize a space in a last name. All the airlines for example do not. So my name is all smashed together. I can not scan my passport or a credit card to pull up my reservations because they may have a space, but since the airline doesn't they can't find my name. </div><div>
</div><div>I also fine some places think the first part is my middle name, so they put me under my husbands name. Others will drop my husbands name. </div><div>
</div><div>While it's all just annoyances and not real problems, it's so inconsistent I wish i had made a different choice.</div><div>
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This is assuming your FB is social and not professional and that your personal and professional lives don't constantly overlap.
I just kept my last name fully, but I still get people who call me by my husband's last name. NBD.
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Since I have been in practice for alost 10 years, my patients know me as Dr. Maidenname.
I have changed with the SS and hyphenated mine and his.
I still need to find out if my licenses need to reflect the hyphenated name or not.
[QUOTE]Debating the same questions. I'm an MD PhD and have published a bunch of papers under my current name... On the other hand, I really would like to take my fianc's last name, I love the idea of us being the hisname family.. I'd love to keep mine and add his name without hyphenating and just go by either depending on the setting.... Is that at all possible?? Lynda is that your situation?
Posted by Janka718[/QUOTE]
This was my rationale for not changing my name when I get married next year - I'm midway through surgery residency and already have papers and book chapters under my maiden name, as well as my medical degree and licenses in two states. Though I'm sure I could legally change my name it just seemed like too big a hassle. Also, I don't know if this is the case for you OP, but my FI is also a doctor and there's a chance that at some point we could end up working in the same hospital. If we end up referring patients to each other, etc, I was more comfortable having different last names so not everyone knew right off the bat we were married.
Socially, it doesn't matter to me what I get called. We also agreed that any future kids would have just his last name (no hyphenates) - probably important to discuss ahead of time. I did leave the door open to perhaps doing a change down the road when we have kids.....I may feel different about it eventually but for now I'm staying with my maiden name.</div>
[QUOTE]In my office there are many woman who use their maiden name at work, and married name everywhere else. Legally, their name is their husband's. This is what I am doing as well. I am in the process of changing all of my important , outside work, documents over to change my last name to DH's legally, but I will leave my registration with the bar, and all of my certificates, diplomas, etc. as my maiden name.
Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]
Is this approved by the bar? I would think they want your law license in your legal name. I'm going to have to check in my state.... this is a big decision for me, too!
[QUOTE]Anyone here use their maiden name professionally, and their husband's name socially? How did you manage this? I'm halfway through medical school and am obviously registered at my school under my maiden name. All my official standardized test scores (Step 1) are in my name as well. I'd like to practice under my maiden name if I can, and know several doctors who do this. BUT -- all of them got married during or after their residency, when they were already MDs! I'm not sure if it would be too complicated to wait until I finish medical school and THEN change my name, so that my MD will be in my maiden name, or if this will just be too complicated and I need to decide once and for all if I'm going to keep or change my name. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any suggestions?
Posted by elplute[/QUOTE]
<div>I would just keep your name. I kept mine and I feel like it was just 1000 times easier not to have to deal with changing it. </div>
[QUOTE]Anyone here use their maiden name professionally, and their husband's name socially? How did you manage this? I'm halfway through medical school and am obviously registered at my school under my maiden name. All my official standardized test scores (Step 1) are in my name as well. I'd like to practice under my maiden name if I can, and know several doctors who do this. BUT -- all of them got married during or after their residency, when they were already MDs! I'm not sure if it would be too complicated to wait until I finish medical school and THEN change my name, so that my MD will be in my maiden name, or if this will just be too complicated and I need to decide once and for all if I'm going to keep or change my name. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any suggestions?
Posted by elplute[/QUOTE]
<div>In most states you can add the new last name to the old one and use either or both...totally up to you, but check out what the laws are for your state to be sure. Or you can always wait to do the name change until after you finish school...just another option</div><div>
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name change - professional vs. personal? : Is this approved by the bar? I would think they want your law license in your legal name. I'm going to have to check in my state.... this is a big decision for me, too!
Posted by nextrightthing[/QUOTE]
It is approved by the bar. I guess technically it's Mrs. married name DBA Ms. Maiden name. In my line of work it can also become a safety aspect when I have children.. . . . they will have the same last name as my husband and I outside of work. . . . .therefore it will be more difficult to connect them to my work name. (we aren't always the most liked people around, lol)