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Cardbox- have at wedding?

LisaChris2011LisaChris2011 member
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
To be honest, I would have never thought of having a cardbox at my reception until I came on here!  I even had to google its purpose.  The weddings I have gone to in the past didn't have one, or I just didn't notice it.  

Would it be ok to indicate on my wedding website to please mail gifts to our future home?  Or is that not following etiquette?
Can I get away with NOT having a cardbox?  I realize a cardbox is for dropping their wedding cards, but also any money they wish to gift us with.  Then again, having  a cardbox for the latter purpose is presumptuous.  Or no?
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Re: Cardbox- have at wedding?

  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    You really shouldn't mention gifts on your wedding website, beyond mentioning where you are registered.  It's considered rude to assume you'll get gifts.

    You don't HAVE to have a cardbox.  Often the purpose of them is to look cute, and give the guests a single place to put gifts/cards so you don't have to pick them up off random tables.  Plus if someone tries to pick it up and run, they'll look kind of silly.  You could even just use a basket with a pretty ribbon bow or something coordinating to your colors if you didn't want to use a "box".  We used a miniature tent - one of the demo-sized ones you see in stores as our card "box".  
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  • GeauxTigers17GeauxTigers17 member
    500 Comments
    If you don't have a box, people will probably just hand any envelopes directly to you or your husband. Is there any place you can stash them after people hand them to you? Do you have a friend who wouldn't mind sticking them in a bag for you out of the way?

    Unfortunately, there's no polite way to mention gifts/ask them to mail everything to you. Most people likely will, though, so you probably won't have a ton of these to deal with. 
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  • LisaChris2011LisaChris2011 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cardbox-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:672e2085-2830-457e-8323-1771dbb453e8Post:53f552be-4efb-40e3-8113-ca88ed660d98">Re: Cardbox- have at wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>You really shouldn't mention gifts on your wedding website, beyond mentioning where you are registered.  It's considered rude to assume you'll get gifts.</strong> You don't HAVE to have a cardbox.  Often the purpose of them is to look cute, and give the guests a single place to put gifts/cards so you don't have to pick them up off random tables.  Plus if someone tries to pick it up and run, they'll look kind of silly.  You could even just use a basket with a pretty ribbon bow or something coordinating to your colors if you didn't want to use a "box".  We used a miniature tent - one of the demo-sized ones you see in stores as our card "box".  
    Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

    <div>What should I put on that page then?  Is it something as simple as "We are registered at the following locations" then list to stores?  Right now I have that page titled as Registeries, then I put (its not live yet): </div><div><span style="color:#664012;font-family:georgia, arial, sans-serif;line-height:normal;font-size:14px;" class="Apple-style-span">We are humbled by your consideration of a wedding gift. Should you want to bless us with a gift, please send it to: XXXXX</span></div><div><span style="color:#664012;font-family:georgia, arial, sans-serif;line-height:normal;font-size:14px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></div><div><span style="color:#664012;font-family:georgia, arial, sans-serif;line-height:normal;font-size:14px;" class="Apple-style-span">Store 1</span></div><div><span style="color:#664012;font-family:georgia, arial, sans-serif;line-height:normal;font-size:14px;" class="Apple-style-span">Store 2</span></div><div><span style="color:#664012;font-family:georgia, arial, sans-serif;line-height:normal;font-size:14px;" class="Apple-style-span">Store 2</span></div>
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Just put that you are registered at: store X, Store Y, Store Z.  Include links directly to your online registries if you have them.
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cardbox-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:672e2085-2830-457e-8323-1771dbb453e8Post:6c8c38b3-f37b-4f5e-8b2c-9d6bcb21ce66">Re: Cardbox- have at wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you don't have a box, <strong>people will probably just hand any envelopes directly to you or your husband</strong>. Is there any place you can stash them after people hand them to you? Do you have a friend who wouldn't mind sticking them in a bag for you out of the way? Unfortunately, there's no polite way to mention gifts/ask them to mail everything to you. Most people likely will, though, so you probably won't have a ton of these to deal with. 
    Posted by GeauxTigers17[/QUOTE]

    It would never dawn on me to hand a card to a bride or groom at their wedding, and no one tried to hand anything to either one of us.  We did have a card box, though, so maybe that's why.

    OP, we just wrapped a box up to look like a gift and cut a slot in it.  It wa really helpful.  We had a lot of loose cards and it made keeping them together so much easier.  My friend didn't have one, and when H and I took all the gifts and cards back to their apartment for them (they left directly to their honeymoon and their apartment was on our way home), one fell under the seat.  Thankfully we found it before they got home from their HM, but I can only imagine if weeks had gone by!  So much easier to have a container for them.

    Our experience was that the majority of our guests brought a gift with them.  It filled my godfather's suburban.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    We had like 4 wrapped gifts, and the rest was all cards.  Gifts vs. cards/cash is really regional, and I'm not sure where your family is from/where your wedding is.  
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  • GeauxTigers17GeauxTigers17 member
    500 Comments
    DramaGeek, that makes sense...my cousin got married in May and didn't have one, and several people handed them to her. I ended up making short runs out to the car so that they didn't get lost. It wasn't that big of a deal for us, but I can see it being a real pain at some venues. 

    People did bring other gifts, and ended up leaving them on the table with the guest book. We were just afraid the envelopes would slip behind something and get lost. The box is a great idea for that reason, I have no idea why it never occurred to us to do that for her (and my cousin is the least detail oriented person ever.... Laughing )
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    You probably didn't notice the cardbox because most of them look sort of like gifts also.  It's nice to have the cardbox so that guests have one place to put cards instead of laying them down on the table where they could blow away.

    You do not need to tell people to mail the gift to you.  Nowadays with online shopping and registries, it's so easy to mail the gifts that many people choose this option.  Many people who've already been married know that it's so much more convenient for the bride and groom to not have to truck a bunch of gifts from the reception back home.  More than half of my gifts were mailed directly to me.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I think we're doing a black wrought-iron birdcage for our "cardbox." I've seen some cheap ones at places like Hobby Lobby, so I'm going to pick one up. I think it gives it a unique look. But the other PP's have mentioned a lot of other cute ideas too. You don't HAVE to have a cardbox, but then the issue is making sure you get all the cards if they are left in various places and what not. I just feel better having them put all in one place.


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  • NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    My stationer told me that the return address that you put on your wedding invitation indicates a safe/convenient place where people can send gifts.  (I live in New Orleans and opted to use my parent's address in the suburbs instead of mine so that things don't get stolen off the porch).   Just make sure to include your address on the invites and people should get the hint.  You could also include something on the website that lets people know your address in general, but don't mention gifts. 
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  • stephasuasustephasuasu member
    100 Comments
    You need some sort of card depository!! Whatever it may be, if you choose not to have one you are going to feel dumb when you are missing gifts from a lot of people and now you have no idea if it is because they didn't give you anything or if it is because you left it up to them to stick their card anywhere in a room full of people and staff that is working your wedding. 
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  • IrishBrideNDIrishBrideND
    100 Comments
    we did not have one and we were not missing anything. But most of my guests know proper etiquette and didn't physically bring the gifts to the wedding ;)

    But those who did were simply directed to a table and they deposited them there. No card box or anything of the sort. No problems :D
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We had a card box and I am glad we did. We got a ton of cards and hardly any wrapped gifts. A lot of the gifts were mailed to our house or my parents house before the wedding. The card box sure came in handy making sure all the cards stayed together, and it was super easy to pick up at the end of the night and take home.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We had a card box and I am glad we did. We got a ton of cards and hardly any wrapped gifts. A lot of the gifts were mailed to our house or my parents house before the wedding. The card box sure came in handy making sure all the cards stayed together, and it was super easy to pick up at the end of the night and take home.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I would rather slip a card into a box than hand it over to a very busy bride and groom who are probably multi-tasking a mile a minute.
    At most weddings I've been to, there wasn't even a chance to hand the cards over, even when the bride and groom came over to our table. It was just "HI! Youlookgreat! Congratula..... bye!" They're usually so flustered and hurried to make sure they hit up every table so no one feels left out. At one wedding, I didn't even get to talk to the bride until the very end and by then I'd have misplaced the card, knowing me lol.
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  • LisaChris2011LisaChris2011 member
    100 Comments
    Thank you everyone for your valauble feedback.  I am going to have a cardbox now. A relative even offered to let me borrow hers so that'll be another item I'm saving on/check off the list!
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