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Bachlorette party, bridal shower, or both

eev028eev028 member
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in Pre-wedding Parties
Is it traditional to have all these parties before a wedding? Im not looking to get gifts but I want to have the bachlorette party and at least the bridal party luncheon so I can thank all my girls for being there for me. This is a second wedding for me but the first for my soon to be husband. I never did anything for my first wedding, so this is kinda my first real wedding. All my friends are looking forward to the bachlorette party. I told them I wanted to do it at a comedy club and just have a good time  with great friends. Is it ok to not try to do a bridal shower?
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Re: Bachlorette party, bridal shower, or both

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachlorette-party-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:74b98f06-8266-4b7c-9a94-57a75b62ee84Post:8d111c9a-1f29-4bd0-a476-540129c27a8e">Bachlorette party, bridal shower, or both</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was planning on having a bachlorette party and a bridal shower as well as a bridal party luncheon. When I mentioned this to my bridesmaids they seemed a little surprised. One asked me why Ive decided to have a bachlorette party AND a bridal shower. Should I only choose to have one? Please give me your oppinion
    Posted by eev028[/QUOTE]

    Anyone, but the bride or groom can host the shower or bachelorette. No one is obligated to throw the parties. So this is not up to you. You must wait and see if someone offers you a party. Then you may accept or decline the offer. Your bms may have been worried that you were expecting them to host these parties.

    You may host a bridesmaids' luncheon because it is held in honor of them, not you.
                       
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  • eev028eev028 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Im not planning it, just giving suggestions to what some people have already asked me about. I dont expect anyone to pay for it. That never crossed my mind. I just want all my friends to get together and have a good time. My BMs are asking for lists of girls to invite so that is the reason I was asking
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like they are offering to host one party for you. Ask them how many guests they want to invite and then provide the guest list for them. Then let them plan it.

    I'm confused about you not expecting anyone to pay for the party. How would that happen?
                       
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    eev, I see you have changed your original post. You should have left it because it makes the thread hard to follow. You should clarify by adding another post, rather than editing the original.

    It sounds like you are talking about 'Dutch treat' parties, where everyone pays their own way. That is fine for a bachelorette party, if that is how they do it in your circle. Let your friends organize it though, since the party will be held in your honor. Of course, you can provide the guest list.

    Showers should be hosted because the guests bring gifts. They can be simple parties, such as punch and cake, as long as the hostess provides something for the guests. If someone offers to throw a shower, you are free to accept or decline the offer.

    The bridesmaids' luncheon is a lovely gesture. The bride may host it in appreciation of the bms.

    Good luck with your planning.
                       
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