Motivating my fiance

tvgal1971 · February 2010

My fiance has been helpful with some of the big plans, but he really doesn't care about the details. That's fine...I enjoy it! There are a few things that only HE can do, however. Top on the list is asking his groomsmen to be in the wedding. My fiance is from Australia and doesn't have a lot of friends here and no family. He says he'll ask my brother-in-law and some guys at work, but he just hasn't gotten around to it. We've been engaged for 7 months and the wedding is in less than 6...I need him to get around to it NOW! He also has to fill out a questionnaire for the officiant which is due in less than 2 weeks and he has barely started it. Whenever I mention these things, he says that all I do is talk about the wedding. I am trying be patient, but it's not easy. He's very responsible and I'm confident that he'll get things done, but how do I gently get him to do it sooner rather than later?

bbyckes · February 2010

Compose an email asking the GMs and have him send it. As for the officiant, he'll get around to it. You probably are talking about the wedding a lot. To be honest, a lot of the things my FI needs to do that's wedding-related, I sort of just get a jumpstart on it and let him finish it. I'd rather do that, than letting his procrastination bug the crap outta me.

CaptiolBride · February 2010

sit him down and do it together. Turn the TV off and sit at the dining room table. Kind of like making a kid do her/his homework. lol sometimes you just gotta do it.

pokepoke27 · February 2010

I think that both of you need to understand some basic things.

1.) He needs to understand that you're VERY excited about the wedding, and that the sooner things are done the better.

2.) You need to understand that you may be talking about the wedding a little too often. Maybe you guys need to go out for a romantic weekend - no wedding talk allowed.

As far as the questionnaire goes, as long as it's done on time it shouldn't matter. Don't bug him about that and maybe he'll be less touchy about you pushing him to establish his groomsmen - definitely the more important thing!

angned · February 2010

are the people he is having from work or whatever that important to him? I would say it is better to have people who mean something to him in his wedding than some random guy just to fill the spot. And maybe he feels this way as well but does not know how to bring it up.

Ken&Cass · February 2010

I have a feeling he's putting off asking for groomsmen because he doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of asking his only options. My fiance and I mutually decided that we would have no wedding party. When his mom found out she said, "Well that's good because I have no idea who Ken would have asked!" (Neither one of us have a whole lot of friends). Sure there are girls from HS I would have liked to have had in a wedding party but at the end of the day the wedding should be able the couple and I knew that he wouldn't have a whole lot of options so I felt it was best to just go without instead of forcing it on him. I am wondering if you have already asked the girls you want to be in it? If you haven't maybe now is a good time to sit down with him and talk about the number of people in your party. I agree with angned.

brimcleod · February 2010

I totally had the same issue. He was just dragging his feet & not asking groomsmen. I was getting so aggrivated. Everyday when he'd see the prospects, I'd say "Did you ask?" and eventually, he did. lol.

Motivating my fiance

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