Catholic Wedding.. Kind of Long..

jmucheech21 · May 2010

Hi Girls,

I know this would probably be better placed on the ceremony board, but everyone on here is so nice and nonjudgemental, I thought I'd ask here first... I'm a little worried that some people may be offended by what I am asking, since I have not been the best Catholic over the last few years and I jsut didn't want to go on another board and have people get upset with me. If I do offend anyone, I apologize in advance. =( Just looking for some advice.. This is really aimed towards anyone who was married by a priest or who is pretty familiar with Catholicism.

Ok, some background. I am Catholic, my fiance is Baptist. Neither of us are "practicing" Christians. I went to Catholic school for 9 years and then kind of got away from going to church and all. When I was in college I got back into it. We had an amazing priest who was very liberal and with the times. He was at the same time very by the books Catholic. He just had a very "today" way of preaching religion. He made going to church very fun for me.

Since moving to FL I have tried 2 different Catholic Churches and did not enjoy my experiences at either. Not because they weren't "fun" (I do realize that Church is about God, not me having a rocking Sunday morning) but one just completely put me off because it was touristy and had a gift shop and was just not what I think church should be. The other was fine, but after a few months of going I just didn't feel like it was a fit. After those experiences I kind of got out of going to church.

My fiance prefers to keep religion private and doesn't really agree with his organized religion.

Ok, so, that's the background. I promise there is a reason I gave all that info...

So, I've always kind of wanted a Catholic wedding, but given the situation I just described, I really don't know if a priest would marry me. Does anyone know if you have to be a parishoner to be married be a priest? And do you need to have been one for a determined amount of time? Also, I am not getting married in a church. Is this even an option for a Catholic wedding? Every one I have been to has been in the church with the full mass. I didn't know if it was even an option to do outside of one.

Also, my fiance is divorced, so I know we would have to have his previous marriage annulled for him to be married by a priest. Which, honestly makes me a little sad, but that is neither here nor there. I know there are ways to make that happen, but I didn't want to have to make my fiance jump through hoops and relive something he'd really rather not. If we have to, we have to, but I am wondering if its even feasible given our timeline.. does anyone know anyone who has been through the process and how long it takes?

I definitely don't want this to turn into a big religious discussion or anything, I just don't know how all this works. All my friends that are Catholic are not married yet, so none of them really know and when I asked my mom she said she honestly didn't remember (she's not very into practicing either).

Thanks for any help anyone can give me..

jmucheech21 · May 2010

Ok, not kind of long.. very long.. sorry!!!!

Theresa626 · May 2010

Ok, so, no you cannot get married outside of the church if you want a Catholic wedding. You'll need to decide how important this is to you because it's not negotiable in the church.

2. Many churches in the Orlando area require you to be a parishioner for a minimum of six months donating on the envelope system before they will give you a wedding date. Being a parishioner doesn't mean you go to church every SUnday though they expect you to. It means you're donating on the envelope system. Yes, it offends me too. If you want to get married in a church without being a parishioner often, you have to pay higher fees and they won't give you a date till six months out.

3. The Catholic church doesn't recognize marriages outside of the Catholic church so if your fiance did not have a Catholic wedding, he would not need to receive an annulment. However, he would need to be legally divorced.

4. If you want a Catholic wedding, you will need to do pre-cana. That involves taking a personality test and then discussing it with a couple from the church. They encourage you to discuss different topics that you might not have discussed with your fiance and come to an understanding about them. You also have to do an engaged retreat where they talk about all sorts of advice regarding married life. It is not very catholic centered and is much more focused on having a healthy marriage.

5. Because your fiance is Baptist you will not be able to have a full mass but you can have a Catholic ceremony. That just means that you will not celebrate communion. They don't like to do communion at a wedding when only one partner can recieve it.

6. YOu said you don't have a whole lot of time.... you need a lot of time to plan a Catholic wedding because of pre-cana. I suggest you start contacting churches as soon as possible if this is something you want.

I'd also like to recommend Most Precious Blood in Oveido. They did not make us have to be a parishioner for six months or donate anything. The priest there, Father Stephen, is young and very energetic. He is a great guy to have marry you. They don't have their own church building yet so you would find another church around that area to get married in. People most commonly choose Annunciation because Father Stephen used to work there and he has a working relationship with that church.

jmucheech21 · May 2010

Thank you so much for the info!!

All good to know.

Just one point of clarification, I wasn't clear. I actually do have plenty of time (we have 18 months to go). I was just worried that an annulment could take much longer than that. He was not married in a Catholic Church, so that's great info to have! I thought any Christian religion was recognized!!! I'm not quite as versed in the rules as I was when I was at Catholic school. Thank you!!

mlharbis · May 2010

I agree with everything Theresa said except you can have a full mass if one partner is not Catholic. I know many couples that have gotten married in a Catholic Church where one of them was not Catholic. The understanding is that anyone not Catholic does not receive communion, so your Fiance would not receive communion. The reason of one partner and many guests feeling left out during Holy Communion is why they may suggest not having full mass, but if you want it, it can be done.

Other than that Theresa has it covered! Good luck deciding what you want to do!

Theresa626 · May 2010

You're right that an annullment can take a really long time. However, because annullments are only for Catholic marriages, you have nothing to worry about.

Theresa626 · May 2010

Also, I noticed on your website that you liked Lake Mary Events Center. This would be a good location if you did decide to get married at Annunciation through Most Precious Blood because it is within twenty minutes or so away. I strongly recommend going to Most Precious Blood. The lady who deals with weddings at the church there is soooo much more welcoming, inviting and freindly than every other church we visited.

jmucheech21 · May 2010

Thanks again girls!!

We actually ended up choosing Celebration Golf Club, but LMEC was our second choice. Man, I guess its been a while since we update the blog!!! Probably time to get on that!! Haha.

I will definitely check out Most Precious Blood, thanks for the referral!

meghanmcadams · May 2010

Jennifer: Theresa really nailed it on the head! Good luck and there are a few of us catholic girls here who can help answer anymore questions you have.

Theresa626 · May 2010

hmmm... Most Precious Blood might not be best for you then. It's really really far from Celebration and I don't think Father Stephen is willing to travel that far because he has to do confession on Sat. at 4PM. He has a brother who is also a priest whom I've never met but is probably equally as young and energetic. That church is called Corpus Christi and it's near Disney. However, they charge a minimum of 3,000 dollars for the ceremony to be held at that church.

Mary Queen of the Universe is probably the church you went to with the gift shop and they don't do weddings because they're not a parish church. There's not a whole lot of catholic churches in the disney area but you should google them and see if there's any you like.

irisheyezfsu · May 2010

Mary Queen of the Universe was a church developed for Orlando Tourist. My parents love easter mass there though. I go to annuciation and grew up with Father steven, he was my confessor soley for probably 7 years of my life. He is a great man and priest and I would definitely recomend him. I already told the woman at my church (annuciation) he was at the top of my list along with another priest at our parish for presiding over my wedding. He is the youngest of several brothers and he is also the shortest at about 6'5 I would say haha. He lead the UCF catholic group as well. I know he is every excited about building his own parish for he heard him talking about walking through the woods down there planning it. I don't know if he has two brothers that are priest I believe one is presiding at All Saints in Windermier last I heard.

As for annulments I would just call the church office and ask or stop in. This way you know the exact 411 on the issue. The church recongizes other marriages asa legal/civil unions just not as holy unions.

irisheyezfsu · May 2010

though I must suggest also that I know ( and this goes for all ladies out there wanting an off traditional wedding with catholic elements) that if you want the catholic church blessing. The church will have a preist witness the wedding at another church or event if you do the required pre-cana. going to catholic school they taughten that if you want to get married in another christian church because an uncle presides there or other family member. Or you want it on nuetheral ground for two faiths. They will in many instances witness the wedding (meaning being present and it will be blessed by the church) as long as you go through the required steps before hand. I would double check with each church aout this but that was my understand being taught at Bishop Moore Catholic high school in Orlando.

jmucheech21 · May 2010

Ok, irisheyez, let me make sure I am understanding.. It is an option to possibly get married at another location and be witnessed/blessed by the Church but not really presided be a priest? I am very intersted in doing pre cana and anything else that is necessary. I am just a bit more concerned about having it in a Church. The vast majority of our guests on both sides will be flying in and having more stops just seems to make it very difficult for people travelling in. I'm not saying I wouldn't do it, I'm jsut saying its a consideration that I have to keep in mind.

We had chosen Celebration for the convenience of hotel, ceremony, and reception all in one basic location.

Theresa626 · May 2010

YOu know I have heard of what jmumeech is talking about before now that I think of it. Since your fiance is not Catholic, you probably could state that you want the wedding on neutral ground and all that. Give it a shot and see if they will allow it!

irisheyezfsu · May 2010

that is what I was taught at a catholic high school in orlando growing up. Ask them about it, I am sure there is a priest willing to witness your wedding so it is blessed by the church as long as you do all the steps before hand.

jmucheech21 · May 2010

Very interesting. I cannot thank you ladies enough for all this information!!! This has been so awesome and helpful. Its giving my fiance and I a place to start talking, whereas before we didn't even know where to start with the whole religious vrs civil ceremony!!

Redraptor1001 · May 2010

Hi there
I am going through all the postings for Catholic Wedding related Q & A's - as I am stuck on a few particulars myself. I did however find out an answer to YOUR question (I think) by speaking with our Priest. I can't find any proof I am a legit Catholic (i.e. Baptism cert, 1st comm cert, secret decoder ring... I even forgot the secret handshake) ... seriously though - these days, only one person has to be Catholic. I am not saying my religion is getting a little relaxed on membership now with all the great press the Pope has been getting, but things have certainly changed. 1 person needs to show proof of baptism or 1st Communion. You also don't have to belong to a Parish. You simply stop by the church during "business hours" and pick up the form.... and get your check writing hand ready. Talk with the Priest On Duty and you can have the length of service you choose (with or without mass). Thats it. Yes, a lot of sarcasm was thrown in here - but thats what good Catholics are made of. Similar to sugar and spice and everything nice... thats what size 3 girls are made of... and those chicks are not invited to MY wedding! Good luck on your search and congrats! All the best RML

Catholic Wedding.. Kind of Long..

Re: Catholic Wedding.. Kind of Long..

Choose Another Board

Search Boards