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How to let people know it's formal???

odustudent22odustudent22
100 Comments
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Some people from my FH's family are, how do I put this, not as concerned with their appearance as others.  We want our guest to know that jeans and tees are not proper attire for our wedding (honestly, their company is what we care about, but we would PREFER suit/tie/dress).  They suggest that on our invitations we have "formal reception to follow".  Or even semi-formal, but to me, including semiformal to people who think sweatpants are everyday wear opens the door for jeans and tees....any suggestions?

it would be like this

Together with their parents
Bride
and
Groom
request your company at their wedding
Date
Church
City
Time

Formal reception to follow at
Restaurant/Town
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Re: How to let people know it's formal???

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    Sigh, I have the same problem and I feel your pain, but I don't think it's right etiquette wise to put something about the dress code on your invitation.  I know some people are going to be wearing jeans at my wedding and it irks me, but I think our hands are tied.

    I have seen where some people put it on their wedding websites, and I'm considering doing that.  I'll be interested to hear what other people put in their responses to your question :)
    Report Reply
  • LeiselEBLeiselEB member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited May 2012
    The only time you are allowed to list a dress code is if you are having a black tie wedding.

    Are you doing a wedding website? You could maybe make some mention of the attire there, but really adults can dress themselves. Unless your venue has a dress code, you can't tell people what to wear. 

    Choose formal invitations and use traditional wording - that will help indicate to guests the formality of the wedding.

    Here's wording I'd suggest:

    Together with their parents
    Bride
    and
    Groom 
    request the honour of your presence
    as they are united in marriage
    Date spelled out
    time spelled out
    Church
    City, State


    Reception to follow at (time)
    Restaurant
    City, State

    I'd suggest using a reception insert because of two locations.
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  • odustudent22odustudent22
    100 Comments
    i just asked this in another post....what would the reception insert look like/say? and to be honest, the people I"m worried about dressing "down" are not likely to look at the website.
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  • MrsMeganL2012MrsMeganL2012
    100 Comments
    Sadly, if they don't know the appropriate dress for a wedding and would come wearing sweats or jeans, I highly doubt that adding "formal" is going to make them care any more.
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Our reception inserts looked like this:

    Reception

    Please join us for Dinner, Drinks & Dancing

    Cocktail hour begins at 7

    Reception Hall
    1234 Main St
    South Jersey

    You could try spreading the formality of your wedding through word of mouth to that side of the family.  But as PP said, they are adults and it will reflect poorly on them that they don't know how to dress properly for a wedding.

    Report Reply
  • devilishangel61401devilishangel61401
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_how-to-let-people-know-its-formal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d374cf00-df96-4efc-a3ca-22bbdfb13fa1Post:e62075f2-539d-4958-a8b1-8ab0b8c03a41">Re: How to let people know it's formal???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sadly, if they don't know the appropriate dress for a wedding and would come wearing sweats or jeans, I highly doubt that adding "formal" is going to make them care any more.
    Posted by MrsMeganL2012[/QUOTE]

    Personally I could care less what anyone wears to my wedding its more important to me that they come.  I've worn dark jeans with a dress top to weddings simply because I don't own a lot of "dressy clothing"  I work someplace where we need to wear jeans for practiacality, our church is casual our minister comes dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, and I don't really go anyplace to dress up. 

    I think PP had the best idea about putting the information on your website.
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  • odustudent22odustudent22
    100 Comments
    so the invitation will be

    Together with their parents
    Bride
    and
    Groom
    request your company at their wedding
    Date
    time
    Church
    City/State

    Reception to follow

    then have an insert that has

    Please join us for a luncheon and dancing
    following the reception
    at
    Restaurant Name
    Address
    ???


    Report Reply
  • LeiselEBLeiselEB member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_how-to-let-people-know-its-formal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d374cf00-df96-4efc-a3ca-22bbdfb13fa1Post:f748cbf8-7c40-4af4-a5a5-c6cda09786c8">Re: How to let people know it's formal???</a>:
    [QUOTE]so the invitation will be Together with their parents Bride and Groom request your company at their wedding Date time Church City/State Reception to follow then have an insert that has Please join us for a luncheon and dancing following the reception at Restaurant Name Address ???
    Posted by odustudent22[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>The wording for the invite should be in "third person" - you have it in "first person" because you used "our wedding". I posted above the best way to word it. You also need to have "honour of your presence" becase it's a church wedding - that also indicates a more formal wedding. </div><div>
    </div><div>EDIT: I misread, I'm sorry - the wording you had is okay - I thought you had "our" but it says "their". I'd still suggest doing "honour of your presence", though :)
    </div><div>
    </div><div>This is how you'd word the insert:</div><div>
    </div><div>Please join us at a reception</div><div>beginning at (time)</div><div>Restaurant Name</div><div>City, State</div><div>
    </div><div>Please visit <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.website.com">www.website.com</a> for more details</div><div>
    </div>
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  • MrsMeganL2012MrsMeganL2012
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_how-to-let-people-know-its-formal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d374cf00-df96-4efc-a3ca-22bbdfb13fa1Post:b59ac854-babd-43dd-b0e2-c7082269112d">Re: How to let people know it's formal???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to let people know it's formal??? : Personally I could care less what anyone wears to my wedding its more important to me that they come.  I've worn dark jeans with a dress top to weddings simply because I don't own a lot of "dressy clothing"  I work someplace where we need to wear jeans for practiacality, our church is casual our minister comes dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, and I don't really go anyplace to dress up.  I think PP had the best idea about putting the information on your website.
    Posted by devilishangel61401[/QUOTE]

    It may be a regional thing.  I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where anyone wore jeans.  I would feel extremely out of place.  I would at least buy a "little black dress" (I just bought one at NY&Co on sale for around $28!) and keep that as my "go to" dress for weddings and such.  
    Report Reply
  • devilishangel61401devilishangel61401
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_how-to-let-people-know-its-formal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d374cf00-df96-4efc-a3ca-22bbdfb13fa1Post:45cc2155-c80e-4b0e-924c-9e4da54622f3">Re: How to let people know it's formal???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to let people know it's formal??? : It may be a regional thing.  I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where anyone wore jeans.  I would feel extremely out of place.  I would at least buy a "little black dress" (I just bought one at NY&Co on sale for around $28!) and keep that as my "go to" dress for weddings and such.  
    Posted by MrsMeganL2012[/QUOTE]

    I think it may be among people in my hometown and maybe even just my freinds.<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" /> Im from a really small town in Illinois and my freinds and I are just very casual dress types of people.   The little black dress idea is a good one though thanks <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
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  • annmarie714annmarie714 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Word of mouth?  Subtle hints when you see people?  Ex: "I can't wait to see everyone all dressed up on XYZ date!"

    This is a tough one Undecided
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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  • RunDogRunDog member
    10 Comments
    I agree with CMGr. The quality of the invitation really sets the tone of the wedding. If you use a high quality paper, maybe with an embossed edge, and thermography print (or anything that's not printed on a regular printer), your invitation is going to make people think this is an elaborate affair to dress up to. The trendier the invitation, the more casual guests will think your wedding is going to be.
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