Make up, hair & BMs oh my!

fperez7542 · March 2013

I started looking for salons. Even had a hair and make up trial on Sunday which turned out to be horrible. Our photographer offers a free make up artist for our engagement session and wedding day so in reality I only need a hair stylest. However, the trials are not included with the free person and the price is over the top for trials. I am trying to stay in a reasonable budget for myself. I have looked, emailed, called, left messages, asked for quotes, and spoken to over a dozen salons. They are all within the same price range. I am leaning on two ladies but here comes the problem.

1. I told the BMs they could do what they feel comfortable with for hair and make up. No need to do it professionally, it is completely up to them.

2. 3 (including the MOH) of them decided they want hair and make up professionally done. Two only want hair done.

3. Everytime I email them a website and quote I get "no too expensive" go to a cheaper person" or "go to small Dominicans salons and ask them and let us know about the trial"

4. They are leaning on me because they are all from OOT

So my problem is:

1. I did a trial Sunday as I mentioned above and it was....horrible isn't close to it. FI first reaction was "what happened!?" So I spent money on a trial because it was the cheapest by far and I wanted to give the BMs an option. I guess there was an even bigger price for cheap. The lady looked like she brought a bag of make up from CVS and some from her house.

2. I've spent too much time on this. Looking every where for affordable hair and make up for the 3 BMs. I can't find anything. This is probably the one thing stressing me out more than everything else I've done for our wedding.

3. I feel bad because they are from OOT but between work, my daughters busy school, dance and sports schedule, wedding things I still haven't done, helping my parents with their move, FI away on business, training our puppy I'm feeling overwhelmed.

4. I sent two emails today. I said I am debating between these two people and their prices are a bit higher than what you expected but I can't continue search if all prices are about the same and the cheap ones are like the one from Sunday. I'll let you know who I decide on so you can decide on booking her. I received an email back "why don't you try surrounding towns small salons. There has to be more Latinos salons around you. Try looking and let us know"

5. The second email (and I get I shouldn't have done this but again I felt bad and figured last shot). This email was the info of another stylist which again is much cheaper and a neighboring town. The lady asked for me to ask the ladies to send her a pic of their length of hair and what updos they want by Friday so I can go speak to her and discuss the quote. So I sent the email. The Two of the Three BMs who are stressing me out about the money don't respond. One writes "yeah thats not gonna happen. My hair is a mess and I won't have it done until Saturday so don't go Friday" I saw her 2 days ago and her hair was fine.

I give up. Don't think I'm keeping the Friday appointment. I just think I'm going above and beyond but its just not getting me any where and its consuming me.

I hope I'm not being b*tchy or spiteful.

Simply Fated · March 2013

Can they help you look? I mean, they are OOT, but they can help google and contact these people, too.

KerisaHarman21 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_make-up-hair-bms-oh-my?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:442d60ab-9750-494d-9eb5-d7f99361c7dePost:2f0d9abd-28d9-4b58-a351-9e6f67e3a751">Make up, hair & BMs oh my!</a>:
[QUOTE]I started looking for salons. Even had a hair and make up trial on Sunday which turned out to be horrible. Our photographer offers a free make up artist for our engagement session and wedding day so in reality I only need a hair stylest. However, the trials are not included with the free person and the price is over the top for trials. I am trying to stay in a reasonable budget for myself. I have looked, emailed, called, left messages, asked for quotes, and spoken to over a dozen salons. They are all within the same price range. I am leaning on two ladies but here comes the problem. 1. I told the BMs they could do what they feel comfortable with for hair and make up. No need to do it professionally, it is completely up to them. 2. 3 (including the MOH) of them decided they want hair and make up professionally done. Two only want hair done. 3. Everytime I email them a website and quote I get "no too expensive" go to a cheaper person" or "go to small Dominicans salons and ask them and let us know about the trial" 4. They are leaning on me because they are all from OOT So my problem is: 1. I did a trial Sunday as I mentioned above and it was....horrible isn't close to it. FI first reaction was "what happened!?" So I spent money on a trial because it was the cheapest by far and I wanted to give the BMs an option. I guess there was an even bigger price for cheap. The lady looked like she brought a bag of make up from CVS and some from her house. 2. I've spent too much time on this. Looking every where for affordable hair and make up for the 3 BMs. I can't find anything. This is probably the one thing stressing me out more than everything else I've done for our wedding. 3. I feel bad because they are from OOT but between work, my daughters busy school, dance and sports schedule, wedding things I still haven't done, helping my parents with their move, FI away on business, training our puppy I'm feeling overwhelmed. 4. I sent two emails today. I said I am debating between these two people and their prices are a bit higher than what you expected but I can't continue search if all prices are about the same and the cheap ones are like the one from Sunday. I'll let you know who I decide on so you can decide on booking her. I received an email back "why don't you try surrounding towns small salons. There has to be more Latinos salons around you. Try looking and let us know" 5. The second email (and I get I shouldn't have done this but again I felt bad and figured last shot). This email was the info of another stylist which again is much cheaper and a neighboring town. The lady asked for me to ask the ladies to send her a pic of their length of hair and what updos they want by Friday so I can go speak to her and discuss the quote. So I sent the email. The Two of the Three BMs who are stressing me out about the money don't respond. One writes "yeah thats not gonna happen. My hair is a mess and I won't have it done until Saturday so don't go Friday" I saw her 2 days ago and her hair was fine. I give up. Don't think I'm keeping the Friday appointment. I just think I'm going above and beyond but its just not getting me any where and its consuming me. I hope I'm not being b*tchy or spiteful.
Posted by fperez7542[/QUOTE]

wow sounds like you have your hands full!! What is stopping them from calling salons in neighboring towns etc themselves?? I mean do you all have to go to the same salon? I do hair and makeup professionally ( and btw I do mix cheaper items like covergirl with MAC products and i've never had complaints) but there will always be one bridesmaid who doesn't like their hair or their makeup or both, atleast if they did the research and chose a salon they could not blame you if it wasn't what they expected. Either way it takes the pressure off of you and they can each figure out which salon will work for them price wise and what they want. they can also personally email the stylist with photos of looks they like so that the stylist is prepared since they are out of town.

Maggie0829 · March 2013

It really sounds like you have done everything to try and make them happy.

This is what you should do. Pick a salon and hair stylist that works best for you and your budget. Tell them that you have booked X salon and the price is Y. If they don't like the price then they can either do their hair themselves or find someone else. I understand they are OOT but I am sure they have google and can do some research themselves.

Pick the salon you like best and tell then that you are sorry but that you have done as much research as you possibly can but you have to book someone and this is the person you like and trust to do your hair. If they don't like the price then they don't have to get their hair done. Remeber, you aren't requiring them to get their hair done, they decided to go the professional route. You can only do so much, now it is up to them to decide to use the person you picked and pay the higher price or find someone else or do it themselves.

SJM7538 · March 2013

I'm sorry you're so stressed over this. It sounds like you're putting a lot of effort into this. Honeslty... Wedding hair and makeup is pricey, but you pay for what you get. The amount of attention, time and detail the stylist is putting into your hair is what you're paying for and IMO worth it for your wedding day. I would find a stylist that you are happy with and then email your girls and says "this is who I chose. It's x price and i have too much other stuff going on to keep stressing over this. Let me know if you want me to book you a spot with me on the wedding day." End of story, I was moh in friends wedding a few years back and all her other bms did was complain about how expensive salons were so somehow it fell on my shoulders to find a "cheap" one. So I did and everyone's hair looked like crap.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_make-up-hair-bms-oh-my?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:442d60ab-9750-494d-9eb5-d7f99361c7dePost:af0c5b75-f431-4cf5-a8c7-be053746cbe9">Re: Make up, hair & BMs oh my!</a>:
[QUOTE]It really sounds like you have done everything to try and make them happy. This is what you should do. Pick a salon and hair stylist that works best for you and your budget. Tell them that you have booked X salon and the price is Y. If they don't like the price then they can either do their hair themselves or find someone else. I understand they are OOT but I am sure they have google and can do some research themselves. Pick the salon you like best and tell then that you are sorry but that you have done as much research as you possibly can but you have to book someone and this is the person you like and trust to do your hair. If they don't like the price then they don't have to get their hair done. Remeber, you aren't requiring them to get their hair done, they decided to go the professional route. You can only do so much, now it is up to them to decide to use the person you picked and pay the higher price or find someone else or do it themselves.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

All of this. You're being very accomodating, but enough is enough. Do what's best for you. Tell them the prices and reiterate that they don't have to book here or even get hair and make up professionally done, but that you will be there. If they need to add on to your booking by a certain date/time, give them that info. Then let it go. If they complain, simply say "I found what was the best price and quality for what I was looking for. I'm sorry it doesn't fit your budget" and change the topic.

MissLaura123 · March 2013

You have definitely spent too much time/stress on this. I found that once I find someone I like: I take it and move on. Even if it may cost a little more: sanity is worth it.

This is still your wedding, and of course we want to be accomodating, especially to everyones wallet's.

Options:

1. Find a stylist you love: after all the $$ on photography, it would suck to hate the way you look in your pictures. If its too pricey: tell your bridesmaids that you will pay their tip on their services they choose.... its a gesture that maybe may help take the edge off.

2. You find your stylist, and tell them that if they are not happy, they can find one of their own...I know thats hard, but you're driving yourself nuts trying to be accomodating.

3. Check different places for other options: there maybe some up- and coming stylist out there, could try craigslist or something, or perhaps there is a family friend that does updo's. (not advisable for sanity purposes however)

good luck

harper0813 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_make-up-hair-bms-oh-my?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:442d60ab-9750-494d-9eb5-d7f99361c7dePost:19075de1-7bf1-48cd-b9a7-28b06325ee27">Re:Make up, hair amp; BMs oh my!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry you're so stressed over this. It sounds like you're putting a lot of effort into this. Honeslty... Wedding hair and makeup is pricey, but<strong> you pay for what you get</strong>. The amount of attention, time and detail the stylist is putting into your hair is what you're paying for and IMO worth it for your wedding day. I would find a stylist that you are happy with and then email your girls and says "this is who I chose. It's x price and i have too much other stuff going on to keep stressing over this. Let me know if you want me to book you a spot with me on the wedding day." End of story, I was moh in friends wedding a few years back and all her other bms did was complain about how expensive salons were so somehow it fell on my shoulders to find a "cheap" one. So I did and everyone's hair looked like crap.
Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

<div>I just felt the need to bold SJM's very wise comment. You get what you pay for. Places are cheap or expensive for a reason. You can absolutely make the investment on the day of your wedding (and for a trial) because it seems like you are absolutely willing to. Then you give your girls the option of making the same investment or going with a cheaper option. Did you take a picture of the makeup/hair you had done at the cheap place? It might not hurt to show them the work they did...</div>

winelover123 · March 2013

You've been very accommodating. Now, since they want something really specific, tell them you're done looking for them. You will give them the information of the salon you choose to go with and if they decide to go for that one too, awesome and if not they are more than welcome to look elsewhere. Cheap is cheap for a reason.

AddieCake · March 2013

Count me in on the votes agreeing with Maggie. At some point, they need to figure this out for themselves if what you've shown them isn't working.

renegade gaucho · March 2013

You've tried to make it as easy on them as possible, and you've done more than enough to try to accommodate them. It doesn't matter that they're out of town- they can use google and the telephone just as easily as you can if they don't like the options you've found.

misshart00 · March 2013

I agree with everyone else that you've been plenty accommodating. But are they wanting you to go check out the cheaper salons so they know if its good quality? That's what I got from your OP. If that's the case, they're nuts.

fperez7542 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_make-up-hair-bms-oh-my?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:442d60ab-9750-494d-9eb5-d7f99361c7dePost:03222f6b-3bd6-4d6d-a029-e38936da43cb">Re:Make up, hair amp; BMs oh my!</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with everyone else that you've been plenty accommodating. But are they wanting you to go check out the cheaper salons so they know if its good quality? That's what I got from your OP. If that's the case, they're nuts.
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

Yes, they expect me to go and do a trial there and see how they are. On my time, my money so I could report back.

fperez7542 · March 2013

Thank you ladies. I appreciate the sanity check. Didn't know if I was being rude by stopping the search and focus on my preference.

libby2483 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_make-up-hair-bms-oh-my?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:442d60ab-9750-494d-9eb5-d7f99361c7dePost:af0c5b75-f431-4cf5-a8c7-be053746cbe9">Re: Make up, hair & BMs oh my!</a>:
[QUOTE]It really sounds like you have done everything to try and make them happy. This is what you should do. Pick a salon and hair stylist that works best for you and your budget. Tell them that you have booked X salon and the price is Y. If they don't like the price then they can either do their hair themselves or find someone else. I understand they are OOT but I am sure they have google and can do some research themselves. Pick the salon you like best and tell then that you are sorry but that you have done as much research as you possibly can but you have to book someone and this is the person you like and trust to do your hair. If they don't like the price then they don't have to get their hair done. Remeber, you aren't requiring them to get their hair done, they decided to go the professional route. You can only do so much, now it is up to them to decide to use the person you picked and pay the higher price or find someone else or do it themselves.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This exactly.

</div>

Salsera29 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_make-up-hair-bms-oh-my?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:442d60ab-9750-494d-9eb5-d7f99361c7dePost:e7f3e3f0-1335-4753-94cf-d9ad13d220b7">Re:Make up, hair amp; BMs oh my!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Make up, hair amp; BMs oh my! : <strong>Yes, they expect me to go and do a trial there and see how they are. On my time, my money so I could report back.</strong>
Posted by fperez7542[/QUOTE]

<div>This is ridiculous. Let's be real here, BM hair is not as big a deal as the bride's hair. If they choose not to use the person you picked, they are OOT, and still want their hair done professionally, they need to spend some time on yelp.com, read some reviews, and pick someone on their own.</div>

fperez7542 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_make-up-hair-bms-oh-my?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:442d60ab-9750-494d-9eb5-d7f99361c7dePost:361732e3-5e15-4ec9-a27b-23111a9db53b">Re:Make up, hair amp; BMs oh my!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Make up, hair amp; BMs oh my! : This is ridiculous. Let's be real here, BM hair is not as big a deal as the bride's hair. If they choose not to use the person you picked, they are OOT, and still want their hair done professionally, they need to spend some time on yelp.com, read some reviews, and pick someone on their own.
Posted by Salsera29[/QUOTE]

Salsera, I honestly don't know what is the big deal about their hair and make up. When I picked them I thought "hey this will be the only aspect of the wedding I wouldn't stress over.'
From me telling them you guys can do whatever you want to your hair and also the shoes all I asked is that they be greyish, they are freaking out (and by them I mean all of them) that nothing will be uniform if 1. I don't go shoe shopping with them together 2. If I don't pick their updo and salon, 3. and if I don't pick their make up color.

I think while some brides want to have their bridesmaids do as they say, I want them to be on their own and they don't want it. They only want me to tell them what to do, and forget it if I say something that is not uniform or one doesn't agree then I'm called crazy.

I usually talk to them every single day (nonwedding things) just because we are really close but I've been avoiding all of them this week.

Kate61487 · March 2013

You've gone WAY beyond what I would have been willing to do. As PPs have said you need to pick what works for you and they can find their own if they don't like it.

My BM's had a little bit of that 'but it won't match' feeling at first too I think. I gave them free reign on shoes within a color; told them they could do their hair however they wanted, etc. Since they seemed overwhelmed with the shoes when MOH found hers (while I was out shopping with her) I sent that photo to the other girls just to give them an idea. They all ended up with super cute very different shoes, but they seemed more comfortable knowing what they were trying to "match" I guess.... So perhaps you could send them some inspiration photos?

For the hair and makeup - all my girls did updos b/c it was July and it was hot. In person their styles all looked VERY different (some did straight back some did more to one side / higher / lower / etc.) but in the photos they all look totally cohesive. and seriously - they want their MAKEUP to match? They presumably have different skin, hair, and eye colors. In what world would you pick a makeup color for all of them?

Just keep telling them they can do what they want as long as they're there and in the dress. Rinse and repeat.

erinlin25 · March 2013

Pick a place YOU like.

They get two options:
1) use them too or
2) find something else.

DONE

ashley14598 · March 2013

Try going to the make up counters in the mall!! Sometimes they do it and all you have to do is buy a product :

Make up, hair & BMs oh my!

Re: Make up, hair &amp; BMs oh my!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Make up, hair &amp; BMs oh my!

Re: Make up, hair &amp;amp; BMs oh my!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Make up, hair & BMs oh my!

Re: Make up, hair & BMs oh my!