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HELP! Bridesmaid TATTOOS?

ssalyardsssalyards member
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
We are practicing Catholics and marriage is a Sacrament. Our wedding day is November 5th, and my bridesmaid, my grooms sister got..a...big...tattoo...on her BACK!! Now she cannot stand at the altar with us, she cannot go up to receive communion because her back is to everyone and she cannot wear anything that will show the tattoo during the ceremony. Tattoo's are fine with me, but i really didn't want one in my wedding! What should i tell her?!
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Re: HELP! Bridesmaid TATTOOS?

  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I wish there were a "don't marry into a trashy family" poll option.
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bridesmaid-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:69ff8e83-988b-48d8-8546-137c9556ee3aPost:e8daec88-2871-418f-9163-f4e7d9d6a3f5">HELP! Bridesmaid TATTOOS?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are practicing Catholics and marriage is a Sacrament. Our wedding day is November 5th, and my bridesmaid, my grooms sister got..a...big...tattoo...on her BACK!! Now she cannot stand at the altar with us, she cannot go up to receive communion because her back is to everyone and she cannot wear anything that will show the tattoo during the ceremony. Tattoo's are fine with me, but i really didn't want one in my wedding! What should i tell her?!
    Posted by ssalyards[/QUOTE]

    I want to know where it says in canon law that you can't receive communion if you have a tattoo.

    Also, you mean "Tattoos are fine with me..." not "Tattoo's are fine with me..."  Plural, not possessive.

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  • ssalyardsssalyards member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not really sure why you are so concerned with my grammar. But there isn't a rule in canon law that states you cannot receive communion with a tattoo. She won't be able to receive communion because her BACK with be facing everyone, which is where her TATTOO is. The priest stated it is not only distracting to the ceremony and the people in it, it is a distraction to him and she has to be covered up.
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  • sister2groomsister2groom
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If it bothers you that much, get all your girls pashminas or jackets.
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  • ssalyardsssalyards member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it will have to be jackets. She will fidget with it all during the ceremony or take it off. It's really not that it bothers me, but the Priest strictly said, "No Tattoos" during our meeting with him.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Your priest is weird, and I don't really believe he said that, considering in your first post you said that you didn't want tattoos in your wedding. I personally don't like tattoos but I wouldn't have had a fit if any of my bridesmaids had them.

    Get over it, and yourself.
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  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry you don't accep tthe the people in your wedding party as they are and feel the need to either accept something as ridiculous as "the tattoo will be a distraction" or lie about it to save face. Tell me how that works out for you.

    What is the tattoo? Is it a big vagina or something? Maybe a big pair of testicles? Satan busting through the gates of heaven with a bloody meat cleaver and a ripped angel wing in his mouth? The entire constitution? Prison tattoos?
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    i think the answer is obvious - get a laser and burn it off while she sleeps. 

    you'd better start now - those red laser pointers aren't too strong, and you probably couldn't afford hospital-grade
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Shoulders and backs should be covered in a Catholic church, anyway.

    And no, I don't believe your priest said no tattoos, either. Wait, no, I take it back. I can believe it. Priests are getting jerkier every day. 
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  • aweaver2004aweaver2004
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not Catholic so maybe I'm off the mark here, but are priests allowed to dictate such a rule as no tattoos in the wedding?  I mean, I know tattoos are considered bad because our bodies are cosidered a holy temple for the soul (or something like that- sorry I'm not that religious) but WOW, I am just shocked that they can do that.  

    And I'm also confused- is there a law that states you can't receive communion because of having a tattoo?  I thought your post said that there isn't one but then later on you say that she can't receive communion.  I guess this is why I'm not Catholic!!  But seriously, you can't control what another individual does.  And if it makes you feel any better, didn't you say it is your FH's sister??  So no sweat off your back because it isn't your immediate family, it's his! 
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  • ariver2011ariver2011
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have no advice for the OP, but Theduckis your dog is so cute.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bridesmaid-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:69ff8e83-988b-48d8-8546-137c9556ee3aPost:3bc5cf8f-acb4-47c1-903f-d0c671b9fd54">Re: HELP! Bridesmaid TATTOOS?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have no advice for the OP, but Theduckis your dog is so cute.
    Posted by ariver2011[/QUOTE]

    Thanks. I like her :o)
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  • blush64blush64 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am Catholic and my family is as well. My cousin who was married a short time ago has many tattoos and most were visible in her wedding dress. She stood at the altar and took communion.

    There is nothing about being Catholic that bans tattoos and people who have them can still take communion. Blue and purple hair is distracting but people with multicoloured hair can also take communion and get married. I don't get this priest.

    I would contact the archdiocese and go further if a priest would honestly not conduct a ceremony if someone has a tattoo because that is NOT part of the religion.

    You did mention that you don't want tattoos in your wedding. Is it just that you don't want the distraction in the wedding? Just add a jacket to the bridesmaid dresses.
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  • FutureJilliannDFutureJilliannD member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm really thinking the priest thing is an excuse, because I have never heard of this either.

    OP, I do understand because I don't like tattoos either. But if that is a part of her and you want her in your party, you are going to have to deal with it. Since the Catholic church will want her shoulders covered anyway, I would just get a jacket and be done with it.
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Catholic brides get married in strapless dresses all the time. And regular parishioners wear sundresses all the time in warmer climates. I don't buy the "shoulders should be covered" argument. 

    You're going to deny a SACRAMENT to a (presumably) practicing Catholic because it means people will see her back? Seriously?  What if one of your guests has a bra strap showing? People will see their backs, too.  What if someone is hemline-ignorant and wears something too short? What if someone just dresses poorly?  What if your nearly-estranged brother brings a Russian hooker to your wedding reception? Oh wait. That was me. 

    Anyway, chillax.  Your priest isn't going to stop the whole ceremony and shame this woman into leaving or anything.  If you hate tattoos THAT much, don't hang out with people who like them and have them.

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