FMIL adding guests at last minute, help!

KatWAG · February 2012

Some background: FILs are contributing to our wedding. So when it came time to put together a guest list we invited everyone they wanted, even though it was a BIG list. This was 4-5 months ago.

Now, our invites are done. the calligraphy is finished. We are just waiting to stuff then and drop them in the mail.

I received an email from FMIL yesterday saying she forgot 3 couples and she wants to add them to the wedding (and the ladies to my bridal shower) I don't know these people and neither does my fi. I really don't have any extra invites. The extra are bent or the ink smudged.

So what do I do? They are contributing to the wedding so part of me thinks I should go the extra mile and try to figure out a way to get some extra invites. But the other part of me thinks if these 3 couples were important to my FIL they would have been on the original list. Plus our guest list has gotten a bit out of hand already.

StephBeanWed61502 · February 2012

Talk it over with your FI, decide what you want to do about this together, and then have your FI talk to your FMIL about your decision. Who are these three couples? Are they relatives that were left off the list by accident, or friends FILs have only just decided to invite?

MyUserName1 · February 2012

"So sorry, FMIL. Unfortunately we don't have any additional invitations or room to add more guests!"

I wouldn't let her add people at this point. Especially since she was able to invite everyone she wanted months ago. You've been accomodating enough

ElisabethJoanne · February 2012

I agree with both Steph and MyUser. I feel even those paying don't have the right to constantly confuse you and force you to rearrange the budget. Adding guests last-minute is confusing, as you've already triple-checked and printed the guest list; and it forces you to rearrange the budget, first by ordering just a few extra invitations, then all the related expenses of the extra guests.

Maggie0829 · February 2012

Even though they are contributing to your wedding, I feel like sometimes enough is enough. Why weren't these people included in their first invite list...if they weren't important enough to make the first cut then why are they inviting them now.

I would have your FI explain to her that due to lack of invitations and time constraints you can not add any additional people to the guest list.

I think you have been more then fair, but since the time to send invites is fast approaching it is time to stop adding people.

KatWAG · February 2012

These 3 couples are not family. And what really irks me was that FMIL wanted to add them to my bridal shower also. First, I am not hosting so I dont get to decide who comes and second, I would prefer not to have total strangers there.

Thanks, I really didnt want to have to run all over and try to figure out how to get 3 more invites.

AMYM312 · February 2012

Tell her the invites are already done and there is no way to add 3 more without having to buy large quanities.. or some other type of excuse. And also make it clear that having strangers at your shower and/or wedding really make you uncomfortable.

kimiandgary · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fmil-adding-guests-at-last-minute-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab565e3d-9ba7-4168-b1c3-cc9c7a7b6f57Post:0c35f78f-459a-4220-b113-5ac8efaff959">Re: FMIL adding guests at last minute, help!</a>:
[QUOTE]"So sorry, FMIL. Unfortunately we don't have any additional invitations or room to add more guests!" I wouldn't let her add people at this point. Especially since she was able to invite everyone she wanted months ago. You've been accomodating enough
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]
this

FMIL adding guests at last minute, help!

Re: FMIL adding guests at last minute, help!

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