NWR: Catholic Stereotypes

KatieJL121 · September 2010

I came across a comment on another board stereotyping Catholics as judgmental and it got me thinking. Obviously, by growing up Catholic I've heard this many times before, but I guess it just continues to bother me because I know it's not true and many people still seem to believe this. It's a shame that people feel this way because in my hometown (and I'm sure it's the same with all of yours also) the Catholic churches and local Catholic charities do so much for the community and do not discriminate. I wish people would realize this. I know you can't make people be grateful, but I think a lot of it stems from ignorance. I worked in a mental health facility for 3 years and volunteered at a homeless shelter...I often overheard many of the same individuals who received money and items for their children through the church, later complain about them and put down Catholicism. Some said the church didn't give enough, and others I don't think even realized where the gifts came from.

Also, with the recent (by recent, I mean the past several years) uproar of sex scandals among priests making national headlines, I've heard many more stereotypes. Most of them you can probably guess or assume what they are. For the most part, I just keep hearing people say that "all priests are homosexual" and "protect your children."  Just because a few priests made terrible decisions does not mean they are all bad people. To get my point across, I like to use the analogy, "Not all priests are sexual abusers, just like not all Muslims are terrorists."

Other stereotypes I've heard through the years are: Catholics drink too much, they worship saints and statues, they're stuck-up, they always have a lot of children, etc.

So, I was wondering....what kinds of stereotypes have you heard? And in what ways have you dealt with them? How do you educate people who openly criticize Catholics, or is it worth it to even bother?

(My intentions are not to offend anyone or attack the girl who made the comment on another board. I'm just genuinely curious how others like myself have dealt with these issues through the years.)

Hope61 · September 2010

So sad

And, is it not a little judgmental of her to say Catholics are judgmental? lol. Though I can see where that stereotype comes from...

I had a friend once and a few months before we were to move in together as roommates she wrote a blog post about how the Catholic Church had it all backwards and was un-Biblical and how wrong the Mass was, etc. This was right after she attended Mass with me. Hello? Did you pay attention to how much of our Mass comes straight from the Bible?! And she said how the Catholic Church added books to the Bible, even though as we know, Luther took those out, its just that the Catholic Church never sat down and wrote an official list until after that happened. But I just sent her an email pointing out a couple of errors and asking her to let me know if she wanted to discuss it further (she didn't) and left it at that, since we would be living together for the entire next school year.

Some comments you just have to ignore. Its not going to help anything to get into arguments. Otherwise, just educate yourself so that when someone does make a comment where it would be appropriate to correct them, you are able to do so and do it well.

bibliophile2010 · September 2010

I agree that educating yourself so that you can respond lovingly and intelligently is the best bet. Getting defensive is not going to get anyone anywhere (except perhaps an argument), IMO.

A good example brought up by the OP is that of "worshiping saints." If you are educated on the theology of praying to a saint for his/her intercession, you can simply explain it when someone questions you about it. The person you are talking to might disagree with the theology. You can't change that in an instant. However, it is equally likely that they had no idea what the theology was and might begin to have a change of heart after learning the truth about saints.

I agree that Catholics are still battling a minefield of stereotypes. Unfortunatly, I don't think we are alone as a religion in dealing with it. Some people don't want to hear the truth, and we need to pray that their hearts be open. In the mean time, I think that seeking to encounter those people with love and truth is our best strategy.

KatieJL121 · September 2010

I completely agree with you....some people on the other board (including me!) pointed out the irony of the girl's comment. I don't think she realizes that by stereotyping Catholics as judgmental, she in turn, sounds judgmental. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm so sorry that happened with your friend. What a hurtful thing to do! :-( It also amazes me how many people base their judgments on the entire religion by only attending one Mass. There is so much to learn about Catholicism that isn't explained within one hour on a Sunday, and many people don't understand why we do certain things and have certain beliefs. It's a shame that some people would base their opinion on one service. I grew up going to Catholic schools, taking religion classes every week...yet, I'm honestly still learning new things about it!

I also completely agree with you that some comments are better to ignore because it's not worth it to get into an argument. I sometimes talk about it in depth with some people if I think they're willing to listen and discuss it without attacking, but other situations just aren't worth the time.

Thanks for the response!

[Deleted User] · September 2010

I totally understand where you are coming from. As a fairly new Catholic myself (I was baptized Catholic, but went through RCIA to receive the rest of the sacraments and so we could have a full mass), I am quickly learning about all these sterotypes. My husband and I sit down and have a lot of discussions about these types of things, bc natuarlly I still have a lot of questions and am still learning about my faith.

Now that we live in the South, the sterotypes are very rampant, esp since there are Baptist churches on just about every street. It is very different from the North, where Catholicism is very prevelent.

I think the best way to defend our faith is to know our faith and know why we as Catholics believe what we do. One of the priests at our church even has a little series he does about defending our faith as Catholics.

I agree, sometimes it can be a lost cause to discuss with people of other faiths what we believe in. And sometimes they are just looking to bash Catholics and start arguments. This is something the Catholic Church needs to look to address better.

KatieJL121 · September 2010

Very well said, Bibliophile. Thank you!

KatieJL121 · September 2010

MissySue, that is interesting about the series they offer at your church and a great idea. I wasn't aware if they offered anything like this in my hometown, but it definitely would have been helpful. We have recently moved to a new area of the state and have been going to a new Catholic church (new to us), so I may have to look into that.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_catholic-stereotypes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d4de012a-bdbc-4f7a-8a49-6f0bb4613400Post:e10437b1-5cd3-42b9-bdd5-73b48cc63b88">Re: NWR: Catholic Stereotypes</a>:
[QUOTE]MissySue, that is interesting about the series they offer at your church and a great idea. I wasn't aware if they offered anything like this in my hometown, but it definitely would have been helpful. We have recently moved to a new area of the state and have been going to a new Catholic church (new to us), so I may have to look into that.
Posted by KatieJL121[/QUOTE]

This is series of talks/seminars that our parochial vicar designed and holds once or twice a year about defending our faith among those non-Catholics. He calls in the "Men in Black" (bc priests wear black) series. H and I have never attended, but I really would love to the next time he holds them. If I remember correctly, he did the last one around the time of Lent and I think he may do another one during the Christmas season.

Definitely check with your local churches and see if there is anything like this. One of the things he talks about is the misconceptions and sterotypes people have of us Catholics and ways to defend ourselves when talking with people as well as the media. We all know the media hates Catholics as well.

agapecarrie · September 2010

The word judgement is so misunderstood.

It is in scripture that we ARE to judge...behavior. NOT hearts/people.

There is objective truth and morality... Murder, stealing, lying. These are all wrong. However, I cannot and shoudn't judge anyone who does these things. That's for God to sort out with where their hearts are.

Basically, the Catholic church still is the messenger of God's natural and moral law, and still says it as it is.

GeorgiaPeachMarie · September 2010

I agree with MissySue. I am from the Baptist belt in the South, and I think that as Catholics are in the extreme minority it allows for more negative perspectives. It is so bad that the majority of my own family members are choosing not to come to my own wedding! I think it comes with not knowing many Catholics, but being from the South I can honestly say that the Church is the most uniting Church I've ever been to. Where I am from the Sunday Church hour is the most segregated hour in the South. There are"black churches" and "white churches" and it wasn't until I went to Mass that all racial groups were represented. I find that exceptionally refreshing since we are supposed to be one body in Christ.

mica178 · September 2010

The Catholic church has been "around" longer than most, and it has certain rituals and costumes/outfits that are distinctive. That familiarity within popular culture makes it an easier target to stereotype.

I brought a Protestant friend to Mass a few months ago. He commented that the prayers were much more formal in the Catholic church than what he was used to, but he noticed that they did hit all the "right points." I laughed and agreed. Ultimately, we Christians all believe in the same God, and if one branch is mocking another, well, that's hardly Christian behavior is it? I remind myself to turn the other cheek.

Jay&Marissa · September 2010

I once saw a great quote about how most of what people find offensive about the Church is actually untrue.

What bugs me the most is the birth control issue--people accuse the Church of being backwards, or a bunch of old men ruling their sex lives. Actually, I find Catholics to be some of the worst! I wish more people would take the time to find out why the Church teaches what it does.

Ugh, when someone says, "I don't want a Church telling me what to do in the bedroom," I really want to say, "Since when does accountability and living your faith stop at your bedroom door?"

Hope61 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_catholic-stereotypes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d4de012a-bdbc-4f7a-8a49-6f0bb4613400Post:583da5da-cb73-4066-a8e3-8bbfee1bfa66">Re: NWR: Catholic Stereotypes</a>:
[QUOTE] Ugh, when someone says, "I don't want a Church telling me what to do in the bedroom," I really want to say, "Since when does accountability and living your faith stop at your bedroom door?"
Posted by Jay&Marissa[/QUOTE]

Haha I love it!

[Deleted User] · September 2010

Jesus Mary and St. Joseph pray for us!

What a sad situation on all parts. People are so caught up in what they think that they know they never take the time to educate themselves about what they do not know.

Just because a Muslim blows up a building does that make every Muslim bad. Just because a Protestant kills an abortion doctor does that make all Protestants bad. NO NO..
We have a duty to love and respect one another. Does that mean that it is easy, I think not, but judging someone or something because you think that you know the truth..We all know what assumptions make us.

Of course this is just my two cents.

+JMJ+
M

Calypso1977 · September 2010

i hate how when folks see a big family they assume they must be catholic, and therefore "ignorant" about how to not have so many kids. some folks truly want a big family. i think mormons suffer from some bad stereotypes too, some very similiar to catholic stereotypes.

Kate504 · September 2010

I live in a mostly Catholic area, but my FI lives in an area where most people are Baptist, including a lot of his family. I always seem to get in discusions with people about the differences between the two.

The other people in the area seem to put down the catholics so bad. there are only 2 catholic churches in the area and there must be a dozen baptist ones and one is bigger than the high school.

Honestly I don't understand the whole thing. I feel that i am more accepting. Here is an example:
We were having a party were everyone was going to be drinking; it was a crawfish boil. Well the girls dad who was baptist did not like drinking so we could not drink until he left. I feel that just because you don't drink doesn't meen others can't. She explained it to me with some bible verse. (and her an her FI don't drink, but they did today,once her dad left, if you don't drink you NEVER drink) As soon as her dad left EVERYONE had a drink in their hand including them

This had happened to me before having to hide drinks around baptist people. because they didn't drink, at a college football game tailgating!

I used to not drink for the LONGEST time, but i never told people that they couldn't drink in front of me.

I don't understand not accepting people for who they are and what they do even if you don't agree with it.

eshaufle · September 2010

I'm Catholic and I personally think that the judgmental sterotype is unfortunately caused by some peoples' own personalities rather than their religious views. If people are judgmental people in general and then they start talking religion with someone...you can see where this conversation might lead to a judgmental stereotype being formed.

For example, a girl that lived in my dorm freshman year at college was an extremely judgmental person. Also happened to be an active Catholic. The 2 are unrelated but she would do things like write on people's white boards that were drinking or out at a party things like "God will judge you". A lot of people keep religion to themselves and are un-judgmental but when people do things like that then stereotypes unfortunately get formed.

I'm not outspoken about my religion AT ALL but I do still get bothered when people say things like that. But there are a few cases of people out there that their actions cause more damage than good (like the recent priest misconduct too).

KatieJL121 · September 2010

Thanks for all of the responses! It has definitely been eye-opening and interesting to read everyone's perspectives and experiences in how you've had to deal with this. It's especially interesting to me to think about how the stereotypes might change from one area to another, depending on who is in the minority.

Some of the most generalized stereotypes make me laugh. For example, just like Calypso mentioned people think Catholics have larger families and therefore, they don't know how to prevent pregnancy. I have heard this so many times also! I agree, it's very true that some people really just want bigger families. And the part that makes me laugh also is that most of the people we've gone to church with have 1-3 kids at most these days. The times have definitely changed...people are waiting longer and later in life to have children (and this often includes Catholics) and finances are tighter for a lot of people. Yet, a lot of people still believe this stereotype.

I read all of your responses...thanks again!

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