How to decide which sibling reads at our wedding?

FutureMrsKupko · August 2012

I am the youngest of 6 kids and my fiance has one sister. We want one person from each of our families to read during our ceremony. For him it is easy to decide since he only has one sister....The problem is that I have 5 older siblings. I have one sister I am very close to that I would like to select. But at the same time, I dont want to hurt my other siblings feelings. Is there a proper way to decide who reads? I was thinking of having the others do something at the wedding ( ie. hand out programs, handle guest book etc) But I dont want it to seem that I am favoring one person over the other AND our wedding isnt that big, so there is only so much I have available for them to do. We also have 12 people in our wedding party. Any advice on how to deal with this? Thank you!

FutureMrsKupko · August 2012

Side note: I will also add that my siblings are way older than me, so I am not very close to most of them due to the age difference. I didnt see them a lot when I was a kid.

shipsinthenight · August 2012

You didn't say, but is your sister in the WP? If she's already a BM, you can have a different sibling do the reading. To be honest, the best way I can see to handle this, especially if you're not super close to any of your siblings, is to grab a hat, put names in, have a list of 4-5 tasks, and the first name out of the hat goes with the first task, the second name with the second task, and so on. For example, you could have guest book attendant, program attendant, usher introducer (asks brides side/grooms side, and lets usher know), and rice hander outter (for after). Then put in Billy, Timmy, Johny, and Frank's names, and choose one at a time. So Johny does the guest book b/c his name was first out of the hat, Frank does the programs, Billy does the usher introducing, and Timmy hands out rice. (Obviously these tasks and names are for demonstative purposes only since I don't know your brothers' names or what tasks you have in mind.)

Alternatively, try to figure out which task would suit each person's personality best. Is one sibling terrified of public speaking? They DON'T do the reading. Anyone very personable? They can introduce people to the ushers. You do have plenty of time to figure this out though. And you can always ask if anyone does or does not want a specific task. Some siblings may prefer just to show up and enjoy themselves.

vk2204 · August 2012

Are any of them in the wedding party?

I am kind of struggling with a similar issue. I have 3 aunts that I want to be a part of the ceremony. By default I am going to pick my God Mother to do a reading; and FI will get to choose someone else.

Are you having a Catholic ceremony? I am going to ask my other 2 aunts to bring up the gifts (bread/wine).

Oh, I know one of my aunts would never ever do a reading so that made it easier as well. But in your situation I would pick the one sibling you are closest with and leave it at that. You don't need to give the others 'jobs', I am sure they will be 100% happy as a guest!

FutureMrsKupko · August 2012

No, none of my siblings are in the wedding party- none of them would have expected to be in the party either. The problem is since my fiance and I need/want readers at the wedding and he wants his sister to read; I thought it would be proper to have one of my siblings read.

We are having a non denominational wedding, so the ceremony would be really short if we didnt have fillers, ie. readings.

I am sure i am over thinking this whole thing, but I guess that is one of the things you do when you are planning a weddnig :P

mabapunta · August 2012

Unless you're really close with a particular sibling, or if they are really into the wedding planning or something, don't feel pressured to include them. Have they asked a lot about the wedding? Or voiced interest in being part of it? If so, maybe they're the one to include.

When my brother got married, they tried hard to include every family member in some way. I was a bridesmaid and had met the bride like twice -- so in my eyes, I really had no business being up there because it didn't mean a whole lot to either of us. I was also only in high school and it was during finals...so my mind was consumed with other things.

vk2204 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_how-to-decide-which-sibling-reads-at-our-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:9dcd6328-62c7-4d2e-96b0-d11ab31c38cePost:f444f05c-0c12-4209-9ea6-4dce7f05edd1">How to decide which sibling reads at our wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am the youngest of 6 kids and my fiance has one sister. We want one person from each of our families to read during our ceremony. For him it is easy to decide since he only has one sister....The problem is that I have 5 older siblings. <strong>I have one sister I am very close to that I would like to select.</strong> But at the same time, I dont want to hurt my other siblings feelings. Is there a proper way to decide who reads? I was thinking of having the others do something at the wedding ( ie. hand out programs, handle guest book etc) But I dont want it to seem that I am favoring one person over the other AND our wedding isnt that big, so there is only so much I have available for them to do. We also have 12 people in our wedding party. Any advice on how to deal with this? Thank you!
Posted by FutureMrsKupko[/QUOTE]

I would just stick with this sister. I am sure everyone else will understand.

allychase · August 2012

Ahhhh don't have a guest book attendant, it's such a bad job. Guests will figure out where the guest book is and how to sign it. Other than that everything else PP have said is good

How to decide which sibling reads at our wedding?

Re: How to decide which sibling reads at our wedding?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards