What are you doing for a 'bar' at your wedding?

semi891 · November 2012

Hey ladies! I have been debating what to do for serving alcohol at our wedding. What are you planning to do?

Ours it at a hotel, so we will be paying bar prices for drinks. They will set up a bar in our ballroom. We thought about doing a cocktail hour before dinner where we would pay for drinks, then beer & wine with dinner. However, we don't want to have an open bar from cocktail hour until the end of the reception. I know they say it's rude to do a cash bar, but if we have served cocktails before dinner & beer/wine with dinner, I feel like that is lots of alcohol in itself. I know not everyone will be drinking either. Or, maybe it's better just to serve punch with the "cocktail" hour and pay for drinks after dinner? Obviously we want to host everyone properly, but I feel an open bar after dinner could get out of control!

BostonGIrl4732 · November 2012

We're having an open bar. My family would be upset if we didn't. There will be a cocktail hour followed by drinks with dinner. We're also doing a champagne toast (which the venue includes).

I think your plan of a cocktail hour followed by beer and wine is probably fine, as long as your guests know.

Open bars can get out of control, but that's because of the guests. We have several on our guest list with the potential to cause problems. However, they don't need an open bar to do it. They will cause problems even if they have to pay for it themselves or bring their own. So that's sort of on them. We're just going to hope that our guests behave themselves and if they don't, we knew about the possiblity beforehand and will not let them ruin our day (I know I sound harsh - these guests are family members and it's sort of an issue).

elliemonster2012 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_what-are-you-doing-for-a-bar-at-your-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:6753c741-f653-442d-abb6-d57578411fadPost:a7ea06d4-f05a-4fc2-b1e9-10be817f1743">Re: What are you doing for a 'bar' at your wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're having an open bar. My family would be upset if we didn't. There will be a cocktail hour followed by drinks with dinner. We're also doing a champagne toast (which the venue includes). I think your plan of a cocktail hour followed by beer and wine is probably fine, as long as your guests know. Open bars can get out of control, but that's because of the guests. We have several on our guest list with the potential to cause problems. However, they don't need an open bar to do it. They will cause problems even if they have to pay for it themselves or bring their own. So that's sort of on them. We're just going to hope that our guests behave themselves and if they don't, we knew about the possiblity beforehand and will not let them ruin our day (I know I sound harsh - these guests are family members and it's sort of an issue).
Posted by BostonGIrl4732[/QUOTE]

This exactly. We are able to bring in our own liquor with our caterer and will have a full cocktail hour, champange toast and then open bar after dinner. Thankfully, both my friends and FIs friends are all settled down (we are some of the last to marry!) so hopefully things will stay kinda calm. I'm more worried about my just of-age cousins! It kinda comes down to your guests...maybe start with a "no shot" rule, too, if you deicded to have liquor in addition to wine and beer.

ncwenze · November 2012

Semi891 are you willing to do beer/wine and one or two signature cocktails? I think it's a cute way for the couple to save money on alcohol, and also add a little personality. I wish we were going this route but my family is kinda picky when it comes to alcohol.

We are doing a full bar which we are able to stock ourselves (yay!). However, the downside is that we have to rent all of the glassware/supplies too. Glassware gets expensive. I'm thinking of serving some craft beer out of the bottles (which I think is how most people drink beer anyway). And cutting the champagne toast. It seems so silly to me to supply 80 champagne flutes for one toast. People can just toast with whatever drink they already have.

BostonGIrl4732 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_what-are-you-doing-for-a-bar-at-your-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:6753c741-f653-442d-abb6-d57578411fadPost:150d8376-d37b-4e1e-9cf3-0a525f39c5f7">Re: What are you doing for a 'bar' at your wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What are you doing for a 'bar' at your wedding? : This exactly. We are able to bring in our own liquor with our caterer and will have a full cocktail hour, champange toast and then open bar after dinner. Thankfully, both my friends and FIs friends are all settled down (we are some of the last to marry!) so hopefully things will stay kinda calm. I'm more worried about my just of-age cousins! It kinda comes down to your guests...<strong>maybe start with a "no shot" rule,</strong> too, if you deicded to have liquor in addition to wine and beer.
Posted by elliemonster2012[/QUOTE]
<div>I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS!!! Great rule!</div>

elliemonster2012 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_what-are-you-doing-for-a-bar-at-your-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:6753c741-f653-442d-abb6-d57578411fadPost:6f106ee3-5ebf-42b0-a082-4518680620c5">Re: What are you doing for a 'bar' at your wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What are you doing for a 'bar' at your wedding? : I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS!!! Great rule!
Posted by BostonGIrl4732[/QUOTE]

I've been to a few weddings with this and I think it is fantastic. Shots are usually the beginning of the end....for me at least lol. Just tell your bartenders before!

mrskloop · November 2012

Our caterer is allowing us to supply our own alcohol and their bartender is serving it. We are definitely having beer and wine for the cocktail hour through the end of the reception and then possibly doing 1 to 2 liquor drinks.

But, I have been to plenty of weddings that are beer and wine only and if you want liquor, you pay for it. No one that I talked to at the weddings seemed offended at all. If you are only serving beer and wine at cocktail hour and at dinner and then have a cash bar after, I'm sure people would understand and that is plenty of time for them to get their drinks started. I say, if that's what you have budgeted for, go for it!

Personally, if I were a guest, I would rather have drinks at cocktail hour than a "punch" hour, since that is when you are able to socialize with people you may not know that well, and let's face it, alcohol is a good buffer and a good way to put people at ease from the start!

semi891 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_what-are-you-doing-for-a-bar-at-your-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:6753c741-f653-442d-abb6-d57578411fadPost:f1bb0b23-a448-4687-9ff1-19b9f15ed38a">Re: What are you doing for a 'bar' at your wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE] Semi891 are you willing to do beer/wine and one or two signature cocktails? I think it's a cute way for the couple to save money on alcohol, and also add a little personality. I wish we were going this route but my family is kinda picky when it comes to alcohol. We are doing a full bar which we are able to stock ourselves (yay!). However, the downside is that we have to rent all of the glassware/supplies too. Glassware gets expensive. I'm thinking of serving some craft beer out of the bottles (which I think is how most people drink beer anyway). And cutting the champagne toast. It seems so silly to me to supply 80 champagne flutes for one toast. People can just toast with whatever drink they already have.
Posted by ncwenze[/QUOTE]

I like the signature cocktail idea! Although my favourite drink is a tequila sunrise, which a lot of people may not like :)

Lots of good suggestions, thanks ladies!

Jlp818 · November 2012

You guys are so lucky! I wish we could supply our own booze! Beer is $5 and everything else is $8 (well sodas and juice is $4.) If we allocated a full open bar at these prices and with the way our cousins drink, we would be looking at around 8,000 - 10,000. (which is half our budget!)

We will only be hosting all non alcoholic beverages (no limit), 2-3 bottles of wine on each table, champagne toast and a bar up to 2,000 - 2,5000.

Plus my cousins and FI's cousins get extremely out of hand with full open bars. Like crazy out of hand, so it is not done in our families. But with all listed above I think it still leaves enough room for everyone to get liquored up enough to have a good time.

CALEO · November 2012

I think its fine to host what you can afford. I personally think it is rude to ask your guests to pay for anything at a party you are hosting (really a thank you to them for attending your ceremony).

I think it is perfectly fine to host mixed drinks for cocktail hour only and then continue to host wine and beer through the rest of the evening so long as it doesn't turn into a cash bar.

I also think the suggestion for 2 signature drinks is a good one - that could reduce the cost enough that you could host them all evening?

We may only do wine beer and champ or we may have a limited hosted bar. Not sure yet!

mpickl · November 2012

We are having an open bar with "middle of the road" liquor. The venue (who is providing the bar) already has a no shot rule, which is kind of nice now that I think about it. My biggest concern now is that I LOVE champagne, and originally we weren't planning on having it... But now I really want it... So we'll have to figure that part out.

semi891 · November 2012

Yeah, it's funny, after talking to the event coordinator at our venue, she's like "a cash bar is totally acceptable--just put it on your invitations."

There is no way I'd put that on the invitations! I just want to find a happy medium. I think a limited bar would be the way to go.

Dixiebabies2 · November 2012

We are having an outdoor wedding and reception my idea was to have beer and also like stated above 1-2 signature drinks. mabe Jack and Coke for the guys and a girly cocktail that wont be as potent for the girls. I like the No Shot for starters idea at least the more conservative crowd will have left before you allow for shots to be served that way no on will be offended by rude or crazy behavior from younger guests.

zantster · November 2012

We're doing full open bar. But I've also seen a great idea by other knotties where the bride and groom have a lovely sign at the bar that says something like "Beer, Wine and Soft drinks are compliments of the bride and groom." That way guests know what you are covering ahead of time and if they choose something different it's on their dime.

semi891 · November 2012

I've seen that as well! That's kind of what I was thinking. We would do a full open bar if we could bring in our own alcohol.

GoofyAssChick · December 2012

We're able to do whatever we want in regards to alchol as we're responsible to purchase it. The caterer is supplying a bartender(s). Currently we're thinking of doing beer, wine and champagne only.

ftrmrsw · December 2012

We are having a limited bar.

It will be full open bar from 5pm-10pm. After which we might switch to only wine and beer. Definitely no shots and no excessive mutiples. If you're alone and ordering 6 drinks, sorry pal, come back later.

mysticfishtales · December 2012

His parents are paying for full bar because I was only going to do beer and wine and that was not accectable to them.

What are you doing for a 'bar' at your wedding?

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