NFP users- how much does FI/DH help with charting?

lalaith50 · July 2011

So, when we started our NFP class about 2 months ago, I was SO excited for FI to be able to help out, and I envisioned that he would just write down everything I told him, and call me in the morning to get my temp, so that he could feel "included" and I wouldn't feel like all the pressure was on me. (I've heard that is a problem for some people.)

But then...it just didn't work that way, for the first month it was *really* annoying, cuz he wouldn't be able to write it down as he was driving to work, and might forget the temp later, and I might discover more signs in the evening after I had talked to him for the last time that day, and would forget to tell him the next time I talked to him, etc.

So now for this past month I've been keeping track of everything myself, and it seems to be working fine. I actually really like charts and things like that, so I almost enjoy "filling out" my charts!

I'm slightly worried that I will become resentful or something if I keep doing it on my own, but I'm also wondering if it will become easier for him to keep track of things once we get married and are sleeping/living together.

Sorry that was kind of long. Feel free to give advice or just say what you do.

ring_pop · July 2011

Eh, he wasn't very involved at all. I woke up, took my temp, and entered it right away in my iPhone FF app, and went back to sleep.

He was interested to know what it was all about and we chatted about how it works, etc. (I didnt have to take a NFP class.)

I didn't think it was a big deal. If you like doing it on your own, there's no reason to push him to get involved in the charting. There's no need to anticipate resentment. It is what you make of it. The important thing is that he's supportive, doesn't make you feel bad if you say you need to abstain tonight (if you're TTA), etc.
There are plenty of other things to do together as a married couple.

newlyseliski · July 2011

It was a bit tricky before marriage... we tried one month between meetings with our instructors where he kept the chart by me giving him the info over the phone (same issues as you!)... but it drove me crazy not being able to physically do it myself! Our new apartment is still in post-wedding chaos right now, so I figure we'll work on the co-charting thing once we can see the bedroom floor.

Even now I still mostly maintain it myself... but my hubby also made the chart into a google doc that only we share where he can check in on where I am in my cycle and see what my daily charting is. We've communicated a lot more about it and our intentions now that we're married and putting it into practice! I don't think he's bothered too much by me doing the charting and he's started asking what my signs are every day so he can be aware of where I'm at.

Riss91 · July 2011

I chart everything myself, but my husband has access to my charts and he reviews them to keep track of my cycle. This way, I never need to be the "gatekeeper". He always knows when it's a red light or green light. Sometimes I forget to record my temp before I leave for work, and I'll have him enter it.

I'm fine with things this way. I don't think he needs to be actually charting to be involved. As long as he's following along with me, I feel like we're working together.

Calypso1977 · July 2011

my H isnt involved at all. but it doenst bother me. back when i used the pill, i never expected him to pick up my prescription or get me my pill with a glass of water in the morning. so, i sorta look at it the same way.

mica178 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-users-much-fidh-charting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:acc58ff8-756f-4dd7-8c2d-93c75ad882d8Post:e02c91a5-e6c4-49fd-a061-d0db8af3a380">Re: NFP users- how much does FI/DH help with charting?</a>:
[QUOTE]my H isnt involved at all. but it doenst bother me. back when i used the pill, i never expected him to pick up my prescription or get me my pill with a glass of water in the morning. so, i sorta look at it the same way.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

<div>it's the same for me.</div>

catarntina · July 2011

Meh, DH isn't really involved (er, wasn't... as I'm not charting at the moment

).

I took my own temp when I woke up, wrote it down, and wrote down the cervical fluid patterns myself. When we were avoiding, he'd ask if it was a go or a no-go, and that kind of irritated me because the charts were right there in the bathroom. So I'd force him to read the charts himself.

I've heard stories about people making their husband's write everything out, but I personally like filling it out. There's no confusion, nothing gets lost in translation, I think it works out for us.

clearheavens · July 2011

It is on me right now to take the temps and note the signs and record them because FI I aren't living together. This is the trial that engaged couples have to go through. On the other hand, he applies the rules (i.e. determines all the information for us).

But when we are married, I plan to take the temps and signs and he will record the temps and I record the signs.

It's highly recommended that you and your DH help with charting together. Yes, I'm sure there are plenty of things that you can do together when you're married, but I believe charting should be one of them. The Couples to Couples League (CCL) also recommends this. It helps you both to share your fertility with one another, so you both are on the same page about which phase you are in at all times, and communicate about children and your plans for the future.

lalaith50 · July 2011

thanks everyone! It's helpful to see the variety which seems to work for different people!

odonnellalys · July 2011

I follow the Billings Method, so I don't chart temperature. I am still trying to get the hang of the charting, so I reallly haven't gotten him too involved. But he asks all the time about how the charting is going....and is very supportive that this is how we are going to do things. We are one year away, so by the time we're married, I'll be in good shape.

mcdol3 · July 2011

My H is involved. I made him come to the course with me and he was actually really interested. He likes to know how things work. He keeps the chart and marks everything down. I give him the information.

We both interpret it.

NFP users- how much does FI/DH help with charting?

Re: NFP users- how much does FI/DH help with charting?

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