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How to ask...

sharone58sharone58 member
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in Just Engaged and Proposals

So I know who my wedding party will be and I've asked everyone, except the maid of honor.  I really want to ask her in person but we live about 2 hrs away and both have very busy schedules.  She also recently got engaged and I'm worried that she won't ask me to be in her wedding at all.  We've lost touch throughout the years due to living in different states but I've known her since we were 4 and 5 and it's always how I pictured it.  What's the best way to ask her to be my MOH and what should I say/do if I'm not in her wedding?

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Re: How to ask...

  • future-mrsfuture-mrs member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments
    moto said it perfectly.  You wanting her to be your MOH is great but it's an honor.  It doesn't automatically mean she HAS to ask you to be hers.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Take her to lunch or just call her up and ask her. You could do the card thing, but it isn't necessary. I think asking her in person is always better.

    And, by the looks of your bio, you are not getting married for almost another year. Relationships change and things happen. Please, please do not ask your WP this early. It is usually recommended that you wait until you are about 6-8 mos out to ask anyone.

    Furthermore, if she doesn't ask you to be in her wedding and you decide you still really want her to be in yours, don't take it personally. Weddings are tit for tat. You never know, she may have a very small intimate wedding with a very small or even no WP.
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  • loves2shop4shoesloves2shop4shoes member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    The others have covered it pretty well for HOW to ask.

    Realize that having her as your MOH does not ENTITLE you to be in her WP.  If she doesn't ask you to be in her WP, don't get snarky.  She has her reasons, which may include (as you've said yourself) the fact that you live 2 hours apart and have lost touch.

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  • sharone58sharone58 member
    First Comment
    Thanks for all your suggestions!  I'm debating between the three things.  My first choice is that I want to take her to lunch or for drinks but that's where our schedules and distance gets in the way.  My second choice is a tie between the letter and the phone call but I can't figure out which one I like better. I already picked my bridesmaids because I was able to talk to two of them in person and the other one pretty much already knew she would be one, so it was easy. 
    I realize I'm not entitled to be in her bridal party, I'm just worried that it will be awkward that I asked her and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or feel like she does HAVE to ask me.  Obviously I realize that we did grow apart so I would understand that she might not ask, but still it would be nice.  I think it's just a complicated situation and I'll just be happy to get an invite.  Thanks for your help!
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