Wedding shower - is this weird?

FluffyCuddleBunny · May 2011

So pretty much as soon as we told my parents that we got engaged, my mom called basically everyone she ever knew to share the news. It's very sweet and touching that she was so excited about us getting married. :-) Now, apparently, as she was having this conversation with one of her close friends, the friend told my mom that she wanted to host a bridal shower for me. I've only met this woman maybe once, though she is quite close to my mom.

My question is: how do I handle this invitation for her to host a shower? I think I would be a little uncomfortable being given a shower by someone I don't really know, but I don't want to be rude or ungrateful. My maid of honor has also offered to throw me a shower, and I think I would feel much more comfortable with that.

redheadfsu · May 2011

She is invited to the wedding? If so, there is no harm. You can have more than one shower. But if you feel uncomfortable, just tell her, "that is so sweet. but... (I don't have the time, I don't need another shower, we are having a small wedding, etc.)

If she is not invited to the wedding, you must decline.

FluffyCuddleBunny · May 2011

Yes, she is invited. Thanks for your suggestions!

DramaGeek · May 2011

Two of my showers were thrown by H's family, people I hardly knew. I didn't feel like I could decline because, well, it was his family. If you're ok with it (and it's ok to have to showers) maybe keep the one she hosts real small and with just family or something. Then the one your MOH hosts could be your friends.

FluffyCuddleBunny · May 2011

Hmm, that's true. Although, I've never wanted to have multiple showers. All that attention makes me so nervous! Haha.

DramaGeek · May 2011

Fluffy, I didn't want any either. I ended up with 3, and no one asked who I wanted to invite so my BMs and friends didn't get invited to any of them :-( It was all H's family, which sucked. My friends were very sweet and held an "unshower;" we had food and watched movies and chatted, it was very fun. Perhaps your BM would be interested in hosting something like that if you'd prefer not to have a shower?

mz07 · May 2011

I think it's pretty traditional for a friend of the MOB to host a shower, so that part's not weird -- I've always taken it as a way of the mother's friends to show appreciation for her friendship by extending something to the daughter. Although obviously you shouldn't do something that makes you uncomfortable!

aegrish · May 2011

I had this happen with a co-worker...I just told her "wow that is SO nice of you, but my mom was already planning on inviting you to the shower she's hosting and I think you'd be sharing the same guest list..." she got the point and came to my moms shower and wasn't offended at all.

smriley89 · May 2011

my FI's mother's next door neighber INSISTED on throwing a bridal tea/shower. There really was no choice but to say yes. I didn't think it was weird, because she loves doing things like this, she did ask for a list of people to invite, so that put me a little more at ease. however I also know that there will be quite a few people there that I have never met or heard their name. I admit I am not comfortable with that many people that I don't know, and feel weird with them buying gifts for FI and myself. BUT his mom just said "it's more to help ya'll out, and they all are happy to bring gifts". the way I look at it, if they don't want to buy a gift or come, then they won't.
I don't think it's weird for her to offer for you, but if it would really make you uncomfortable to have more than 1 shower and have it hosted by someone you don't know too well, then just politely decline. But look at it this way (and I say this as un-selfishly as possible) It's just more stuff to help out you and your FI when yo ustart out your marriage! and less you have to buy!

Wedding shower - is this weird?

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