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Who to put on invite...

cnh31cnh31
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in Wedding Invitations & Paper
My parents are paying for almost the whole wedding. His parents are paying for a very casual rehearsal dinner and the alcohol at the wedding. Do I have to put his parents names on the invitations? I don't want to offend them but my parents have spent quadruple and I don't want them to feel slighted??
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Re: Who to put on invite...

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited November 2012
    First of all, how much who paid is not a factor in determining whose names go on invitations.  It's not an "honor" that parents "buy" by paying for any part of the wedding or anything wedding-related.

    If his parents are not hosts, regardless of how much they paid, their names do not belong on the invitations.

    How to determine if someone is a host: Will they be "point persons" - that is, doing any of the following?
    -receiving replies from guests
    -communicating with guests about wedding-related matters
    -receiving guests at the wedding
    -seeing that their needs at the wedding are dealt with

    If so, then yes, they are "hosts."  If not, then leave them out.
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    MissMeghan80MissMeghan80 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I thought the groom's parents were on the invitation under his name..

    aka Bob Smith
    son of Mr and Mrs Smith

    is this not how it is done?
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_who-to-put-on-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:f80d848a-52ff-4857-8e67-29074a4c7f1cPost:9673689f-f5be-48a6-8946-5bfdecd8e146">Re: Who to put on invite...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I thought the groom's parents were on the invitation under his name.. aka Bob Smith son of Mr and Mrs Smith is this not how it is done?
    Posted by MissMeghan80[/QUOTE]

    It's not automatic.  It's also actually not traditional.  Traditionally, only the bride's parents' names appeared, because they were the hosts.

    Since there are all kinds of hosting arrangements and other reasons why wording is variable, there's no rules in play about the names of the groom's parents on an invitation.  Certainly they can be listed as you describe, but it just isn't fixed.
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    The groom's parents host the RD.  Their names go on the top of that invitation as the people who are hosting the event.

    The bride's parents host the wedding.  Their names go on the top of the wedding invitations as the people who are hosting that event.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_who-to-put-on-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:f80d848a-52ff-4857-8e67-29074a4c7f1cPost:c11295d5-187a-472e-b21a-8268b24fa249">Re: Who to put on invite...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who to put on invite... : <strong>Only if you are Jewish.  It is a Jewish tradition.</strong> It is sometimes done on other invitations, but it is not traditional at all. Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Bride's First Middle to Mr. Groom's Full Name Date time Venue City, State If you are having a wedding in a church, it would be "request the honour of your presence".
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    Not necessarily.  Jewish wedding invitation wording can vary as much as anyone else's.
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