Where do I start?

Re: Where do I start?

• monkeysip member

  

  June 2012

  First, I would contact the church in which you want to get married.  Make sure they will allow non-parishioners to marry there, and ask if they need anything (do you need to bring your own priest?  Do you need a letter from your home-parish priest?  Any other requirements?).  They should point you in the right direction, or, you may have to find another parish if that one won't marry non-parishioners.
  
  Then you can ask if you can do your pre-cana requirements through your home church, and contact your home church about that.
  
  There's probably more involved... but that should get you started.

  
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• Riss91 member

  

  June 2012

  Ditto pp. I would also add that if your parents have a contact at the church near them, possibly have them make the first call, since they would have a relationship there. We were not married in our home parish, and the priest at the church where we were married handled all the paperwork. We also brought in a priest from another parish to perform the actual ceremony. We only met with him once beforehand. Most of the work was done by the priest of the Church we married in.

  
  

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• egm900 member

  

  June 2012

  We're doing this, we contacted the priest we wanted to marry us first.  We wanted to make sure if we were getting married a church other than our own, we at least knew the priest and the priest knew us.  We then called the Church, they were hesitant at first, but once they found out we were bringing in a priest, everything got really easy as far as they were concerned. Sometimes a parish will not allow weddings for outside parishioners due to factors with the priest, but they're open to you bringing in your own priest, although in our case they had to ask the priest if it was okay, it's not like the office knew and recommended that.

  
  

  If your parents are connected to the Parish, definitely have them ask about outside weddings or who you need to discuss a wedding with, some churches charge non-parishioners a fee, or a larger fee if there is a fee for parishioners, and they sometimes discount or waive this for children of parishioners.

  
  

  We have another priest preparing us since we don't live near the Church or priest marrying us, and we had to go by the "strictest" standards for marriage preparation from everyone involved (Church would allow for a weekend retreat, the priest preparing us only allows for Evenings for the Engaged, etc.).  There is a lot more coordination involved with the more priests and parishes that get involved, but for us it's been easy.  We are getting our paperwork to the Church a full two months before the wedding in case there are issues, I would definitely recommend doing this if you're getting married outside of your parish.

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• futuremrsbruno member

  

  June 2012

  Were you ever part of your parents church? That may help as far as being able to get married there. I think every Diocese has slightly different approaches to this.
  
  I know, for example that ours is pretty large and encompasses all of the Catholic Churches in several counties. We are actually closer to a few other churches, but took our RCIA classes and received our sacraments at ours because my FI's family were members and he was baptized there. However, we were told we could choose to go to a church closer to our home and even marry at a different one. We said we wanted to stay where we were because we had gotten to know people and really like our priest.
  
  I know this is different depending on where you are, but it may be helpful to know. I also know that my priest was formerly a priest for another diocese and he has already been able to help couples who wanted to get married in that diocese instead of ours. If you are able to find some sort of connection through the church, it may make things easier for you.

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• mjmchugh86 member

  

  June 2012

  Thanks for the advice! I was never a member of my parent's church, but I will have them make the first contact.

  

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