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To Dance or Not to dance...

PnKcrawford2011PnKcrawford2011 member
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in Moms and Maids
My fiance and his mom are not close at all. they have a really bad relationship and he pretty much raised himself his whole life. When i mentioned the idea of "Mother Son dance" he said "No way no how i don't want to do it" i know he is serious about it when he says he doesnt want to, but i don't want her to see me dancing with my dad and him possibly dancing with my mom (who is more of a mom to him than his own) and wonder why she isn't dancing with him. She is the kind of wonderful woman who would be loud and cause a scene when she realizes this.  I just was wondering if anyone else has delt with this issue and maybe has a reasonable solution that he will be ok with.

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Re: To Dance or Not to dance...

  • SheDiva4SheDiva4
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would suggest that the only "formal" dances you have are "the first dance" and "father/daughter dance"  If sometime during the reception your Fi wants to dance with your mom he can and without the spotlight being on them.  This will hopefully alleviate his Mom causing a scene.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Don't try to talk him into it. The father/daughter dance is very traditional and probably wouldn't upset his mom. I've never seen a spotlight dance for Groom and MIL, so just skip that one, so you won't provoke his mom.
                       
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  • KnibletKniblet member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We aren't doing either the father/daughter or mother/son.  It's not us.  Not to mention, my father is MIA.  I COULD dance with step dad but I don't want to.

    If you dance with your dad, that's fine.  If your FI wants to dance with your mom, don't make a big deal out of it.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I totally agree with Kniblet. I would do it if he really wants it, but don't make a big deal out of it. Maybe you could talk to the dj and have him give you guys a clue or play a specific song before the song you pick for your FI to dance with your mom. That way it won't be announced, but you guys will know ahead of time and it won't give her time to cause a scene.
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Skip the Mother/Son dance.  We go to probably two weddings a year (DH and I are both teachers) and I've only seen the Mother/Son dance at one wedding out of probably 20.  Just not common.  Skip it.
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  • lca315girllca315girl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dance-not-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3bbb52d6-8fc4-4bfc-9a61-ca4b299fcfa2Post:4ee73892-ad84-4d40-80a8-9ea78927cb5e">Re: To Dance or Not to dance...</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you dance with your dad, that's fine.  If your FI wants to dance with your mom , don't make a big deal out of it.
    Posted by Kniblet[/QUOTE]


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  • SAW2008SAW2008 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, you can't force this issue and it doesn't sound like you want to...you just don't want to hurt his mom's feelings. You have to understand that whatever issues they have has been going on for years and its not about you. Do the regular father/daughter dance and if he wants to dance with your mother at some point at the reception then maybe they can do that instead of making a formal dance. Maybe that will take some of the sting out of it. She is probably going to be a little hurt either way but your husband will take care of it then.
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  • leoraannaleoraanna member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Don't do any dance that makes you uncomfortable and don't expect your FI to do it either.

    We are bypassing all that drama by just not having dances- first dance, and that's all.
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