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Registry and Gift Forum

Not Registering???

My fiance feels that registering for gifts are for couples just starting out from scratch, who just bought a house/going to buy a house and need to fill it up. Well we already own a house and have PLENTY to fill it up. Looking on wedding registry sites does make me feel like "oh I would love a new *insert appliance name here*".  We're both older (well 37 & 40) and neither has been married before. He knows that I have always dreamed of my wedding and all the planning that comes with it (like registering)...but he does make a good point...we don't NEED anything from BB&B or Macy's. But we DO need money (who doesn't - especially those of us planning a wedding???). So now we are trying to figure out a polite way to not ask for material gifts.
Has anyone NOT registered? How can I mention on the invitations that if guests are going to give a gift...money is prefered instead of a mixer?? I don't want to come off as being greedy.....

Re: Not Registering???

  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited July 2010
    Same ages, same situation.  We moved in together at the beginning of the year and a few Goodwills got some very nice donations.  We had  a milkshake off to determine whose blender got to stay.

    We tried to not register and were bombarded with requests to know where we were.  We finally just made a short registry of kitchen items that could stand to be replaced, new linens, towels and comforter set.  I think most people would prefer to give a gift rather than money.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • Make a small registry of upgrades (high thread count sheets, cool small appliances, etc).  You can have your bridal party spread through word of mouth if asked, "TLDH has a small registry at store Y, but they are also saving up for a new home/renovations/honeymoon."  Many guests will get the hint that you prefer cash, but those who really want to give a gift still option available.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_not-registering-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:d3bb5248-2d1d-4858-965b-c532572c1063Post:beb51196-2dda-4ad7-83f1-7e42a9bb5372">Re: Not Registering???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Make a small registry of upgrades (high thread count sheets, cool small appliances, etc).  You can have your bridal party spread through word of mouth if asked, "TLDH has a small registry at store Y, but they are also saving up for a new home/renovations/honeymoon."  Many guests will get the hint that you prefer cash, but those who really want to give a gift still option available.
    Posted by SaraAndrew2010[/QUOTE]

    This
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  • We did not register.  We had a couple people ask us where we registered and I simply said that we didn't have a registry but we're planning on buying a house right around the time of the wedding and that we could certainly use non-apartment things like garden tools, a hose, grill, grill utensils, etc.

    Most people gave us cash, which was what was most helpful to us.  But those that wanted to give a physical gift still had some direction.

    If you don't register, you will get mostly cash.  However, be prepared for a few strange gifts.  However, I don't think we received any gift without a gift receipt.  You will likely be able to return anything that you don't care for.
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_not-registering-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d3bb5248-2d1d-4858-965b-c532572c1063Post:a4a22b7d-9bb4-441c-9f27-bcd9598467e6">Not Registering???</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance feels that registering for gifts are for couples just starting out from scratch, who just bought a house/going to buy a house and need to fill it up. Well we already own a house and have PLENTY to fill it up. Looking on wedding registry sites does make me feel like "oh I would love a new *insert appliance name here*".  We're both older (well 37 & 40) and neither has been married before. He knows that I have always dreamed of my wedding and all the planning that comes with it (like registering)...but he does make a good point...we don't NEED anything from BB&B or Macy's. But we DO need money (who doesn't - especially those of us planning a wedding???). So now we are trying to figure out a polite way to not ask for material gifts. Has anyone NOT registered? How can I mention on the invitations that if guests are going to give a gift...money is prefered instead of a mixer?? I don't want to come off as being greedy.....
    Posted by gmack2011[/QUOTE]

    You absolutely do not put anything about gifts on your wedding invitations, especially anything asking for cash.  If you don't register, many people will give you cash without you asking.  However, there will be some people who don't like giving cash and want to give an actual gift.  If you don't register, they may be annoyed that they have to pick one out themselves (and hound you about why you aren't registered) or they may pick out something that you really don't like or want.
    Married 10/2/10
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_not-registering-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:d3bb5248-2d1d-4858-965b-c532572c1063Post:ee402737-4627-4e95-8309-8c8d4f244dc5">Re: Not Registering???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Not Registering??? : You absolutely do not put anything about gifts on your wedding invitations, especially anything asking for cash.  If you don't register, many people will give you cash without you asking.  However, there will be some people who don't like giving cash and want to give an actual gift.  If you don't register, they may be annoyed that they have to pick one out themselves (and hound you about why you aren't registered) or they may pick out something that you really don't like or want.
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

    Agree, please do not put anything about gifts or registries with your wedding invitations. People just cringe at the sight of it.  Do a small registry and word of mouth is great for letting people know monetary gifts would be appreciated. Also if someone is throwing you a shower, then you will need a registry. The point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts, not money.

    Happy wedding planning!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_not-registering-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d3bb5248-2d1d-4858-965b-c532572c1063Post:beb51196-2dda-4ad7-83f1-7e42a9bb5372">Re: Not Registering???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Make a small registry of upgrades (high thread count sheets, cool small appliances, etc).  You can have your bridal party spread through word of mouth if asked, "TLDH has a small registry at store Y, but they are also saving up for a new home/renovations/honeymoon."  Many guests will get the hint that you prefer cash, but those who really want to give a gift still option available.
    Posted by SaraAndrew2010[/QUOTE]

    This advice is absolutely perfect.
    imageimageimage
  • I agree with the small registry and not inclluding anything about gifts on your invitations. We just received an invitation to a wedding that said in bold at the bottom, 'in lieu of gifts a moneytree will be displayed'. I'd never actualy seen that before. To each his own, but it seemed strange to me.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_not-registering-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d3bb5248-2d1d-4858-965b-c532572c1063Post:5dc79889-7c7f-4d85-89bf-84a9fdde548f">Re: Not Registering???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with the small registry and not inclluding anything about gifts on your invitations. <strong>We just received an invitation to a wedding that said in bold at the bottom, 'in lieu of gifts a moneytree will be displayed'.</strong> I'd never actualy seen that before. To each his own, but it seemed strange to me.
    Posted by lexandfab[/QUOTE]

    Yuck. I would purposely buy a HUGE boxed gift to bring them. In it, it would definitely include an etiquette book.
    imageimageimage
  • Thanks for all the gread advise!! I do like the idea of a small registry - and great idea about the sheets/towels, etc...we can certainly use those!!
    and yes the money tree seems kinda cheesy...I would NEVER ask for anything and forgot about the bridal shower too! too busy trying to set a concrete date and venue to think of what my MOH has in store for me!!!!

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