WP's parents? (Partly RP)

emmagfunk03 · September 2010

This came up somewhere else, so I thought I'd ask the etiquette board in its own post.

Is it standard etiquette to invite the parents of the wedding party?

My guest list is full because of my dad's work friends (whom I've never met), but I think my MOH's parents (who have known me since I was 5) should be invited. Should I also invite her adult sisters (who I've known since they were born)? I really want my MOH's parents to be there, but they're divorced, dad is remarried and has a stepdaughter, so I feel like standard etiquette would dictate inviting her mother, sister, father, new wife, and step-daughter.

Help me all-knowing etiquette women! TIA

danieliza1127 · September 2010

Just like any other guests, you should invite them because you know them and want them there. And yes, if they are divorced and have new spouses, they should be invited with their spouses.

Celles · September 2010

I'm inviting my best friend's parents (because I

them), aunt and cousin (who are coming over from California to meet my best friend while she's in town from Denver for the wedding), adult sister (who just wants to be there because she's all SQUEE about weddings) and adult sister's boyfriend (as her obligatory +1). I am not inviting her adult brother or his wife, because I'm not close with either of them. I don't feel rude excluding the latter couple because we have never had an adult relationship, whereas I was close with the others growing up and still keep in sporadic touch via Facebook. I think this is one of those situations where it's safe to pick and choose, as long as you don't exclude (edit: one haf of a) couple or invite some children living at home and not others in the same household.

danieliza1127 · September 2010

Oh and there's no obligation to invite all of the wedding party's parents if you don't have relationships with them. We invited my MOH's parents because I've known and been close with them since I was 10, but we didn't invite any other wedding party member's parents because we don't know them.

breezerb · September 2010

I agree with PP. I think you should invite your MOH's family because you have a relationship with them (and I'm sure it would mean the world to them!) But if you do not really have a relationship with any other WPs family, I wouldn't feel obligated to and I'm sure they wouldn't really be offended.

Fineporcelain · September 2010

This is something that I have never understood. My parents have invited x amount of co-workers that I don't even know to the wedding. Why do parents do that? They need to save that for their anniversary party because they know them. This is your day, invite whoever you want. As for the married-divorced-married someone else set. If they mean something to you, then they should be there on a day that means the most to you. If they do show up then they have to be civil to each other, because this is your day, not just another day of fighting between themselves.

Good luck.

marisah83 · September 2010

You don't need to invite all of the WP's parents, but if you are close to this one family, I say absolutely invite them!

TTiger03 · September 2010

I agree with those above. You invite her family because you would want to invite them even if you didn't have a wedding party.

It's not really standard to invited the parents of the wedding party unless they are under age (18 or 21, you decide) unless you feel your guests list wouldn't be complete without inviting them. As Dani said, you aren't under any obligation to invite the full family of each WP member just because you invite your best friend's parents.

As far as you parents inviting a lot of their friends, if it's bothering you and taking over the entire guest list, can you talk to them? Also, I know you shouldn't plan on this, but it's likely that many of them won't come. Some love weddings and will be there, some love you parents and will be there, some will send a gift but decide they would rather have their Saturday with their loved ones instead of with a co-worker's family.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · September 2010

Well, one of my BMs doesn't even talk to her own parents, so that's a no over here.

We did invite the parents of one of the GMs, because FI has known them since he was 6.

emmagfunk03 · September 2010

Thanks you guys.

Part of the reason this is such a huge problem is because my father's bipolar and off medication. After my mother and I trying to talk to him we've realized he won't listen to anyone, and thinks I am being disrespectful to him. He even suggested renting a different reception venue (um, they've already put down the deposit and it's my first choice) so he could invite about 20 more people from work (now of course my mom wants to order people from work...but at least I've met most of them). The solution for now is to tell him that I'll "work them in." That will probably mean b-list status, but by the time I send out my invites he won't even care anymore.

Anyone else dealing with a dadzilla? Bipolar or otherwise?

WP's parents? (Partly RP)

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