BYOL reception?

ballingersquared · January 2012

Hello! I have a question about alcohol at the reception. We are eloping in Las Vegas at the end of Feb and hosting a reception/party for our family and closest friends (about 85 people total, 50 that are 21+) a month after the Vegas trip. We are on a tight budget and it will be a dressy-casual (no jeans or flip flops) type of event. We are doing a Las Vegas theme for the reception and there isn't much about it that will be fancy.

So, my question is this: We are planning to get the champagne for a toast, a few bottles of wine, and a full keg of beer. Do you think it is wrong to ask people to bring their own liquor if they would like liquor? My family is fine with the idea and does not think it is rude. I am just worried about the 10-15 friends that are invited. Should I let them know (aside from the invite) that if they would like liquor they are welcome to bring their own for themselves?

The venue does not have a bar. Thank you for suggestions!

Gabrielle76 · January 2012

From an etiquette standpoint, that is very, very rude. (even ifyour family is ok with it) I'm not trying to be mean to you or anything, and personally wouldn't judge you if you did it, but from a manners standpoint, it's really not ok.

However, if you do it, make sure that you check with your venue, some have rules against that kind of thing.

ballingersquared · January 2012

Thank you. I know etiquette is against it, but really, there is nothing formal about our "wedding".

We've already checked with the venue and they said alcohol is fine! :) Our families are big drinkers so that was a must!

If etiquette is against it, should I simply leave it at beer and wine?

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_offbeat-weddings_byol-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:43453af6-2ee4-412a-99fb-cbb447240911Discussion:9c934c3a-90a4-4a32-951f-e3e0af512a54Post:151666b2-6d1c-4072-a7ec-28859f6d6aeb">Re: BYOL reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]From an etiquette standpoint, that is very, very rude. (even ifyour family is ok with it) I'm not trying to be mean to you or anything, and personally wouldn't judge you if you did it, but from a manners standpoint, it's really not ok. However, if you do it, make sure that you check with your venue, some have rules against that kind of thing.
Posted by Gabrielle76[/QUOTE]

Gabrielle76 · January 2012

From a strictly etiquette standpoint, you should just leave it at beer and wine, but you know your crowd best. If they are people who would be bothered by that kind of thing, I would stick to beer and wine, but if they're a crowd that wouldn't mind, and would rather have liquor than follow strict protocol, it wouldn't be the end of the world, I don't think.

Personally, I'm sticking to beer and wine, but we're doing a theme wedding and anyting else would seem out of place.

uneek1323 · January 2012

It has nothing to do with how formal or casual your wedding is. It is rude to ask your guests to bring ANYTHING to your wedding. It's not offbeat. It's rude. If you want people to drink more than wine and beer, then get a permit and supply it for your guests.

gmcr78 · January 2012

I would just host the beer and wine, and if anyone asks you can tell them as much. There's no need to mention anything about beverages, however, if someone specifically asks you if they are allowed to bring liquor, I wouldn't lie-you can tell them to feel free to bring whatever they'd like since the venue allows it, but that beer and wine will be served.

ballingersquared · January 2012

This is a great suggestion! Thank you so much! :) Sounds perfect.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_offbeat-weddings_byol-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:43453af6-2ee4-412a-99fb-cbb447240911Discussion:9c934c3a-90a4-4a32-951f-e3e0af512a54Post:97a54958-42d2-4800-bd5c-78634d27319f">Re: BYOL reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just host the beer and wine, and if anyone asks you can tell them as much. There's no need to mention anything about beverages, however, if someone specifically asks you if they are allowed to bring liquor, I wouldn't lie-you can tell them to feel free to bring whatever they'd like since the venue allows it, but that beer and wine will be served.
Posted by gmcr78[/QUOTE]

ballingersquared · January 2012

Thank you for the suggestion. I think you're right. And knowing my family, if I say it is beer and wine, if they want something else, they will bring it anyways. :) Thank you!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_offbeat-weddings_byol-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:43453af6-2ee4-412a-99fb-cbb447240911Discussion:9c934c3a-90a4-4a32-951f-e3e0af512a54Post:56f4fd40-df24-47ce-8c97-692e5dccb19f">Re: BYOL reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]From a strictly etiquette standpoint, you should just leave it at beer and wine, but you know your crowd best. If they are people who would be bothered by that kind of thing, I would stick to beer and wine, but if they're a crowd that wouldn't mind, and would rather have liquor than follow strict protocol, it wouldn't be the end of the world, I don't think. Personally, I'm sticking to beer and wine, but we're doing a theme wedding and anyting else would seem out of place.
Posted by Gabrielle76[/QUOTE]

ballingersquared · January 2012

Thank you for your response. I don't really know why almost every bride on the knot finds themselves compelled to be so rude to people. I simply posted this in the "Offbeat" section because my wedding and reception are offbeat. Not because of the dilemma I'm having with the alcohol. And if you read my question correctly, you would see that I do not want to ask my guests to bring anything, I just want them to know that if THEY would like more than just beer and wine, they are more than welcome to bring it themselves. My FI and I chose to get married in Vegas rather than at home for many reasons, one of which was to save money. The at-home reception is simply a party to celebrate our marriage with our family and friends. I believe that is the entire point of a reception to begin with, but for those brides who must make it a lavish hell for their guests and family, thats on them. I simply want to offer my guests as much as I am able given my personal circumstances. Thus, the reason I asked the question.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_offbeat-weddings_byol-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:43453af6-2ee4-412a-99fb-cbb447240911Discussion:9c934c3a-90a4-4a32-951f-e3e0af512a54Post:9093557d-44cf-4532-a67e-656fa4011964">Re: BYOL reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]It has nothing to do with how formal or casual your wedding is. It is rude to ask your guests to bring ANYTHING to your wedding. It's not offbeat. It's rude. If you want people to drink more than wine and beer, then get a permit and supply it for your guests.
Posted by uneek1323[/QUOTE]

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